For the 24th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Elliott Richardson


Elliott Richardson · 79

July 20th, 1920 - December 31st, 1999

Wonder what it must have felt like to be replaced by that loser Robert Bork?

Sarah Knauss


Sarah Knauss · 119

December 31, 1880 - December 30th, 1999

Forget not famous, she's not even part of the conversation anymore.

Clayton Moore


Clayton Moore · 85

September 14th, 1914 - December 28th, 1999

Hiyo, Silver, awaaaaaaay!

Curtis Mayfield


Curtis Mayfield · 57

June 3rd, 1942 - December 26th, 1999

Move over, Freddie.

Irving Rapper


Irving Rapper · 101

December 31, 1898 - December 20th, 1999

Now, voyager.

Hank Snow


Hank Snow · 85

May 9th, 1914 - December 20th, 1999

Didn't stick.

Desmond Llewelyn


Desmond Llewelyn · 85

September 12th, 1914 - December 19th, 1999

Apparently, his car had bullet-proof glass, a fog machine and a retractable assault rifle, but no seatbelts. Very clever, Q.

C.  Vann Woodward


C. Vann Woodward · 91

November 13th, 1908 - December 17th, 1999


Grover Washington


Grover Washington · 56

December 12th, 1943 - December 17th, 1999

It's about time somebody shut him up.

Rex Allen


Rex Allen · 78

December 31st, 1920 - December 17th, 1999

Reports say that he was accidentally run over, by a woman who's described as either a caretaker or a friend. Whichever it was, she wasn't very good at it.

Paul Cadmus


Paul Cadmus · 94

December 17th, 1904 - December 12th, 1999

The fumes finally got to him.

Joseph Heller


Joseph Heller · 76

May 1st, 1923 - December 12th, 1999

The essence of Catch-22 is that if you are concerned enough for your safety to ask to be declared insane, then you are sane enough to go into battle. The essence of Catch-23 is that if you stop breathing, you can't write anymore.

Rick Danko


Rick Danko · 56

December 29th, 1942 - December 10th, 1999

Chest fever.

Franjo Tudjman


Franjo Tudjman · 77

May 14th, 1922 - December 10th, 1999

The final in the Eastern European Leader Derby of Death is Franjo over Vaclav by a nose.

Kenny Baker


Kenny Baker · 78

March 1st, 1921 - December 7th, 1999

Baker's dozin'.

Shirley Hemphill


Shirley Hemphill · 52

July 1st, 1947 - December 6th, 1999

Wait a minute, first Mama, now Shirley -- what the hell is happening!?

Rose Bird


Rose Bird · 63

November 2nd, 1936 - December 4th, 1999

Got the death penalty.

Madeline Kahn


Madeline Kahn · 57

September 29th, 1942 - December 3rd, 1999

It would appear that Gene Wilder, the one with the dick they call the "ovarian cancer wand," has struck again.

Joey Adams


Joey Adams · 88

January 6th, 1911 - December 2nd, 1999

Ba-dum bum.

Charlie Byrd


Charlie Byrd · 74

September 16th, 1925 - November 30th, 1999

Dead duck.

Gene Rayburn


Gene Rayburn · 81

December 22nd, 1917 - November 29th, 1999

Rumor has it that his tombstone will be blank.

Quentin Crisp


Quentin Crisp · 90

December 25th, 1908 - November 21st, 1999


Winnie Palmer


Winnie Palmer · 65

November 1st, 1934 - November 20th, 1999

She was a golfer's wife. Isn't that a riot? Let's hear it for The Kim Perrot Renovation.

Doug Sahm


Doug Sahm · 58

November 6th, 1941 - November 18th, 1999

He's about a goner.

Paul Bowles


Paul Bowles · 88

December 30th, 1910 - November 18th, 1999

Now comforted by the sheltering Earth.

Horst Horst


Horst Horst · 93

August 14th, 1906 - November 18th, 1999

Bit D. Dust.

Donald Mills


Donald Mills · 84

April 29th, 1915 - November 13th, 1999

Last surviving member of a small, yet fervent cult of deviants who promoted their bizarre agenda of perversion with such musical propaganda as "Swing It Sister," "When You Were Sweet Sixteen" and "You Always Hurt The One You Love.


Gaby Casadesus

November 11th, 1999

The celebrated French piano instructor who was known for her impeccable posture at the keyboard. In fact, for twelve consecutive years, she was voted Europe's Most Erect Pianist.


Mary Bergman

November 11th, 1999

Blame Canada.


Vivian Fuchs

November 11th, 1999

It took him 99 days to cross Antarctica, and then 42 years to die of pneumonia.

Mabel King


Mabel King · 66

December 25th, 1932 - November 9th, 1999

Hey, Mama, What's Happening!? Hello?

Lester Bowie


Lester Bowie · 58

October 11th, 1941 - November 8th, 1999

Never mind that he jumped around on stage like some kind of a goofball, David's dad could really play that horn.

Leon Stukelj


Leon Stukelj · 100

December 11, 1898 - November 8th, 1999

The Slovenian gymnast known for creating the Stukelj Maneuver, a move which was later eliminated from international compulsory competition when overt sex acts were banned.

Joe Serna


Joe Serna · 60

September 3rd, 1939 - November 7th, 1999

Truly embodying the American dream, he proved that anything is possible in this great country of ours. From his humble beginnings as a child farm laborer, he rose all the way up to being on 34 lists in The September Lee Jr.

Max Hunter


Max Hunter · 77

March 11th, 1922 - November 6th, 1999

Dead as a boiled squirrel.

Malcolm Marshall


Malcolm Marshall · 41

April 18th, 1958 - November 4th, 1999

One of the world's most accomplished and celebrated cricket players, which means he couldn't make it in a real sport.

Walter Payton


Walter Payton · 45

July 25th, 1954 - November 1st, 1999

Dead meatness.

Greg Moore


Greg Moore · 24

April 22nd, 1975 - October 31st, 1999

Drove his car into a wall at 220 miles per hour. That's a Canadian for you.


Max Patkin

October 30th, 1999

Goodnight, sweet prince.

De Vol


De Vol · 88

September 20th, 1911 - October 27th, 1999

Happy Kyne has met his maker, and there's no mirth in that.

Hoyt Axton


Hoyt Axton · 61

March 25th, 1938 - October 26th, 1999

Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea.

Abraham Polonsky


Abraham Polonsky · 88

December 5th, 1910 - October 26th, 1999

Now, there's a real American. Fuck you, Kazan.

Charles Simons


Charles Simons · 83

August 17th, 1916 - October 26th, 1999

He was Strom Thurmond's former law partner, which somehow raises a glimmer of hope in the eyes of millions.

Payne Stewart


Payne Stewart

October 25th, 1999

The jet plane carrying this golfer (he was the stupid-looking one with the knickers) took off from Florida headed for Dallas, and ended up crashing into South Dakota. That, folks, is a serious slice.

John Chafee


John Chafee · 77

October 22nd, 1922 - October 24th, 1999

This moderate Republican Senator (actually a donkey in elephant's clothing) was said to be the offspring of one of the most powerful families in all of Rhode Island. So, what, they had an indoor toilet?


Jack Lynch

October 20th, 1999

As Ireland's Prime Minister, he made a promise to Northern Ireland not to stand by as violence raged. They're still waiting for Jack to put down his drink and do something.


Nathalie Sarraute

October 19th, 1999

French chick, credited with paving the way for the "new novel" movement, and best known for writing about imperceptible movements. Must be working on a real dilly.

Jean Shepherd


Jean Shepherd · 78

July 26th, 1921 - October 16th, 1999

Marshall McLuhan once called him "the first radio novelist." Interestingly, he once called Marshall McLuhan "a dried up old bag of shit."


Julius Nyerere

October 14th, 1999

Aba gabba BOOM!


Marvin Wood

October 13th, 1999

Stiff as a board.

Wilt Chamberlain


Wilt Chamberlain · 63

August 21st, 1936 - October 12th, 1999

Never mind the official cause, everybody knows that he simply fucked himself to death.

Milt Jackson


Milt Jackson · 74

January 1st, 1925 - October 9th, 1999

Bad vibes.


Gorilla Monsoon

October 6th, 1999

No, of course that wasn't his real name, but as a professional wrestler, he needed something that sounded more menacing than Monkey Drizzle.

Akio Morita


Akio Morita · 78

January 26th, 1921 - October 3rd, 1999

The co-founder of Sony Corp. and chairman of the multi-billion dollar international conglomerate for nearly 20 years. Not bad for a guy who started out running Arnold's diner on Happy Days.

Kickboy Face


Kickboy Face · 53

October 21st, 1945 - October 2nd, 1999

After more than 20 years of loudly calling for all the sober, uptight, boring assholes in the world to fuck off and die, he fucked off and died.

Oseola McCarty


Oseola McCarty · 91

March 7th, 1908 - September 26th, 1999

Would it have killed her to send US a few bucks? Oh. It would have? OK.

Judith Exner


Judith Exner · 65

January 11th, 1934 - September 24th, 1999

She may or may not have slept with JFK when he was President, but she's sure as hell sleeping with him now.


George Scott

September 22nd, 1999

Americans love a winner. As a general rule, however, they are considerably less enamored with a 250-pound mass of lifeless flesh.

Raisa Gorbachev


Raisa Gorbachev · 67

January 5th, 1932 - September 20th, 1999


Frankie Vaughan


Frankie Vaughan · 71

February 3rd, 1928 - September 17th, 1999

Sort of a poor man's Anthony Newley. How frightening is that?

Charles Crichton


Charles Crichton · 89

August 6th, 1910 - September 14th, 1999

Cut! That's a wrap.

Alfredo Kraus


Alfredo Kraus · 71

September 24th, 1927 - September 10th, 1999

Vita e mobile, vita e mobile.

Catfish Hunter


Catfish Hunter · 53

April 8th, 1946 - September 9th, 1999

Out of the frying pan, into the ground.

Ruth Roman


Ruth Roman · 76

December 22nd, 1922 - September 9th, 1999

An amazingly resilient woman, she survived not only the sinking of the Andrea Doria, but also four dates with a Bonzo-era Ronald Reagan.

Allen Funt


Allen Funt · 84

September 16th, 1914 - September 5th, 1999

Smile! You're dead!

Alan Clark


Alan Clark · 71

April 13th, 1928 - September 5th, 1999

Sounds like he was kind of a swinger, except for the stories of him flirting with Margaret Thatcher. Eeuuuuuuu.

Charles Lowe


Charles Lowe · 87

September 1st, 1912 - September 2nd, 1999

He was the manager-husband of Carol Channing, who recently sued him for divorce. She claimed, among other things, that they had had sex a total of twice in 40 years. We've been wondering what made him do it the second time.

Francis Murphy


Francis Murphy · 66

March 25th, 1933 - September 2nd, 1999

Night takes Bishop.

Fritz Shurmur


Fritz Shurmur · 67

July 15th, 1932 - August 30th, 1999

Went without a murmur.

Matt Hartl


Matt Hartl · 23

August 1st, 1976 - August 30th, 1999

As a redshirt freshman for the Northwestern Wildcats, Matt was used primarily as a blocking back. Henceforth, he will be used primarily as fertilizer.

Leo Castelli


Leo Castelli · 91

September 4th, 1907 - August 22nd, 1999

We knew he was into minimalism, but this is ridiculous.

Kim Perrot


Kim Perrot · 32

January 18th, 1967 - August 19th, 1999

That's the way the stupid little orange and white ball bounces.

Lane Kirkland


Lane Kirkland · 77

March 12th, 1922 - August 14th, 1999

The former head of the AFL-CIO is DOA.

Harold Reese


Harold Reese · 81

July 23rd, 1918 - August 14th, 1999

Godspeed, Pee Wee. Thanks for the peanut butter cups.


Earle Jorgensen

August 11th, 1999

Not funny, not even a real celebrity ... just dead.

Bob Herbert


Bob Herbert · 57

February 7th, 1942 - August 10th, 1999

Creator of the Spice Girls. So, he couldn't've had this car crash, like, three years earlier?

Jennifer Paterson


Jennifer Paterson · 71

April 3rd, 1928 - August 10th, 1999

Chain-smoking co-host of a cooking show called "Two Fat Ladies" which featured recipes heavy on the butter. How is it possible that none of us saw this coming?

Helen Rollason


Helen Rollason · 43

March 11th, 1956 - August 9th, 1999

British sportscaster chick.


Kazuo Miyagawa

August 7th, 1999

The great Japanese cinematographer who was affectionately referred to by Akira Kurosawa as "Needle dick."


Victor Mature

August 4th, 1999

Mature, hell, he's dead!

Malachi Martin


Malachi Martin · 78

July 23rd, 1921 - July 27th, 1999

From being a Jesuit priest and an associate of Pope John XXIII during the era of the Second Vatican Council, Mal made the natural vocational progression and wrote the best-selling thriller "Hostage To The Devil" in 1976. Look it up.

Harry 'Sweets' Edison


Harry 'Sweets' Edison · 83

October 10th, 1915 - July 27th, 1999

Lights out, Edison.

Martin Agronsky


Martin Agronsky · 84

January 12th, 1915 - July 25th, 1999

The original talking head is finally freaking dead.


King Hassan

July 23rd, 1999

He once had a birthday party where nearly 100 people died. It's good to be the king.

Sandra Gould


Sandra Gould · 82

July 23rd, 1916 - July 20th, 1999

Serves her right, the nosy bitch.

Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy


Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy · 33

January 7th, 1966 - July 16th, 1999

Authorities suspicious of foul play in this case might want to look into the activities of a player named Byzantium.

John F. Kennedy Jr.


John F. Kennedy Jr. · 38

November 25th, 1960 - July 16th, 1999

Now the leading candidate for People magazine's Sexiest Man Who Used To Be Alive.


Steve Heaston

July 15th, 1999

Whaddyamean, not a celebrity? He was only the second-best water polo coach that Cal University's ever had. Ingrates.


Stanley Durwood

July 14th, 1999

He's credited with inventing the multiplex theater, which means he's directly responsible for turning the majestic Grauman's Chinese into three stuffy little closets. If we had ever heard of him, he might've made a Hate List.

Willard Munger


Willard Munger · 88

January 20th, 1911 - July 11th, 1999

The man known as "Mr. Environment" in Minnesota is now part of the environment in Minnesota.

Helen Forrest


Helen Forrest · 82

April 12th, 1917 - July 11th, 1999

These days, you can't see Miss Forrest for the trees that are growing in right on top of her.


James Farmer

July 9th, 1999

Here's your Freedom Ride, pal.

Pete Conrad


Pete Conrad · 69

June 2nd, 1930 - July 8th, 1999

Astronaut Conrad has slipped the surly bonds of Earth and touched the face of God by wiping out on his motorcycle.

Joaquin Rodrigo


Joaquin Rodrigo · 97

December 31, 1901 - July 6th, 1999

He composed the famous "Concierto de Aranjuez," and was hung like a mule.

Mark Sandman


Mark Sandman · 46

September 24th, 1952 - July 3rd, 1999

Exit Sandman.


Mario Puzo

July 2nd, 1999

Sleeps with the fishes.


Sylvia Sidney

July 1st, 1999

During her heyday in the '30s, Sylvia was said to have the saddest eyes in Hollywood. She was also famous for a brief but torrid affair with Rin Tin Tin.


Joshua Nkomo

July 1st, 1999

After more than 50 years in African politics, including a 12-year stint as vice president of Zimbabwe, Nkomo earned the title "Our Old Man." That's the love of the people talking, folks.


Guy Mitchell

July 1st, 1999

He was sort of a Pat Boone kind of a guy, only not as good looking. In other words, he had no redeeming features whatsoever.


Forrest Mars

July 1st, 1999

He single-handedly created the Milky Way, Snickers and 3 Musketeers bars. Shouldn't there be, like, a statue of this guy?


Edward Dmytryk

July 1st, 1999

As a member of the Hollywood 10, Dmytryk went to prison for refusing to answer questions about the Communist Party. Then he went back and named names after he got out of jail. What a yutz.

Michael Hooker


Michael Hooker · 53

June 1st, 1946 - June 29th, 1999

Another household name. We're gettin' sick of this crap, you know that?

Allan Carr


Allan Carr

June 28th, 1999

First, he brought us Grease, the musical. As if that weren't enough, he then produced Can't Stop The Music, starring The Village People. Good fucking riddance.

Georgios Papadopoulos


Georgios Papadopoulos · 80

May 5th, 1919 - June 27th, 1999

Cancer finally made his heart stopadopoulos.

Marion Motley


Marion Motley · 79

June 5th, 1920 - June 27th, 1999

A great deal was made of the fact that Marion was one of the first black NFL players, but what about the remarkable accomplishment of a girl playing fullback?

Henri d'Orleans


Henri d'Orleans · 66

June 14th, 1933 - June 19th, 1999

Say a prayer for the pretender.

Bob Bullock


Bob Bullock · 69

July 10th, 1929 - June 18th, 1999

Never mind Bob Bullock, where's the next victim?

Basil Hume


Basil Hume · 76

March 2nd, 1923 - June 17th, 1999

What's a graveyard gumbo without a little Basil?


David Sutch

June 16th, 1999

The erstwhile rock singer and fringe politician was what the British affectionately refer to as "an eccentric," and what we here in America call "a fucking nutcase."

Emma Massey


Emma Massey · 122

December 31, 1876 - June 14th, 1999

They say she might have been the oldest person in the world. Or, she might have just looked really, really bad for her age.

DeForest Kelley


DeForest Kelley · 79

January 20th, 1920 - June 11th, 1999

All together, everybody ... "He's dead, Jim!"

Eddie Stanky


Eddie Stanky · 82

September 3rd, 1916 - June 6th, 1999

And gettin' stankier.


Mel Torme

June 5th, 1999

Then again, he may not. The Velvet Fog has lifted.

Zachary Fisher


Zachary Fisher · 88

September 26th, 1910 - June 4th, 1999

He was a noted philanthropist, which we guess is what you do when you're really rich and really talentless.

Hillary Brooke


Hillary Brooke · 84

September 8th, 1914 - May 25th, 1999


Owen Hart


Owen Hart · 34

May 7th, 1965 - May 23rd, 1999

The word is that he did it on purpose, as a tribute to the memory and spirit of Dinky Patterson.

Norman Rossington


Norman Rossington · 70

December 24th, 1928 - May 21st, 1999

He was in "A Hard Day's Night," and now he's sleeping like a log.

Augustos Pablo


Augustos Pablo · 44

June 21st, 1954 - May 19th, 1999

Like the farmer said to the potato, "I must plant you now and I will dig you later."

Henry Jones


Henry Jones · 86

August 1st, 1912 - May 17th, 1999

Something is happening, but you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?

Gene Sarazen


Gene Sarazen · 97

February 27th, 1902 - May 13th, 1999

He's credited with inventing the sand wedge. This guy was old.

Shel Silverstein


Shel Silverstein · 68

September 25th, 1930 - May 10th, 1999

He just went past where the sidewalk ends.

Dana Plato


Dana Plato · 34

November 7th, 1964 - May 8th, 1999

She was on Howard Stern to try and jumpstart her career, and then ODed about 12 hours later, which seems somewhat counter-productive.

Dirk Bogarde


Dirk Bogarde · 78

March 28th, 1921 - May 8th, 1999

The star of "Death In Venice" has apparently bought it in London.

Leon Hess


Leon Hess · 85

March 13th, 1914 - May 7th, 1999

Y'know, most ex-Nazis took it on the lam to South America, but somehow this guy ends up owning the Jets. We don't get it.


Mark Tuinei

May 5th, 1999

Tooey went blooey.


Irving Stevens

May 4th, 1999

And don't any of you punks try to tell us that the creator of Irving's Fly Dope ain't a celebrity, goddamnit!

Joe Adcock


Joe Adcock · 71

October 30th, 1927 - May 3rd, 1999

How does four home runs and a double in one game grab you?

Tibor Kalman


Tibor Kalman · 49

July 6th, 1949 - May 2nd, 1999

He was a graphic designer who died in his 40s after a successful and varied career. What the fuck are we supposed to do with that?

Oliver Reed


Oliver Reed · 61

February 13th, 1938 - May 2nd, 1999

Oliver, Oliver, never before has a boy drunken more, you will rue the day -- hey, can you rue when you're dead?

Rory Calhoun


Rory Calhoun · 76

August 8th, 1922 - April 28th, 1999

After countless Western movie roles, he played the part of Looney Tunes in the timeless classic Hell Comes To Frogtown. Truth is almost always stranger than fiction.

Al Hirt


Al Hirt · 76

November 7th, 1922 - April 27th, 1999

Though hailed the world over as "The King of the Trumpet," it's less widely known that in his home town of New Orleans, he was called "that fat, boring guy."

Roger Troutman


Roger Troutman · 47

November 29th, 1951 - April 25th, 1999

Now yielding considerably less bounce to the ounce.

Roman Hruska


Roman Hruska · 94

August 16th, 1904 - April 25th, 1999

According to his obituary, he was a U.S. Senator, but for some reason, we thought he was a primitive architectural style.


Herbert Young

April 22nd, 1999

Recipient of France's highest military award, the Legion of Honor cross. Do the French have a thing for black guys, or what?


Liz Tilberis

April 21st, 1999

She was a hugely successful fashion editor who published her memoirs under the title "No Time To Die." That, however, was last year.


Charles Rogers

April 21st, 1999

Way back in the Golden Age of ice cream treats, this popular actor was actually the original inspiration for the Nutty Buddy.


Ralph Perk

April 21st, 1999

Oh. Later.

Charlie Whittingham


Charlie Whittingham · 86

April 13th, 1913 - April 20th, 1999

Looks like it's the glue factory for ol' Charlie.

Senor Wences


Senor Wences · 103

December 31, 1896 - April 20th, 1999

He made it to 103. Apparently, the extraordinary relationship he enjoyed with his right hand didn't hurt him any.

Rick Rude


Rick Rude · 40

December 7th, 1958 - April 18th, 1999

One of his fans eulogized him in an e-mail to us, which read "... he was a pretty good guy in real life, and just acted like a schmuck in the ring." Rest in peace, ravishing one.


Anthony Newley

April 14th, 1999

Start the world again. He's off.


Ellen Corby

April 14th, 1999

Goodnight, Grandma.

Boxcar Willie


Boxcar Willie · 67

September 1st, 1931 - April 12th, 1999

It's snake eyes for Boxcar.


Jean Vander Pyl

April 10th, 1999

The voice of Wilma Flintstone, and many other beloved characters, has died. Appropriately, her funeral procession will be passing the same house and tree every four seconds.


Mary Rathbun

April 10th, 1999

She was a San Francisco AIDS activist who earned her nickname by handing out pot-laced baked goods to sufferers of the disease. She also went out with our PR guy for a while.

Red Norvo


Red Norvo · 91

March 31st, 1908 - April 6th, 1999

Hey, whaddyaknow, that's exactly what he died of. He had a red norvo.


Early Wynn

April 4th, 1999

Something about the worm getting the early something-or-other. You figure it out.

Lionel Bart


Lionel Bart · 68

August 1st, 1930 - April 3rd, 1999

Consider yourself dead meat.

Gary Morton


Gary Morton · 74

December 19th, 1924 - March 30th, 1999

This guy was the salt of the Earth.

Joe Williams


Joe Williams · 80

December 12th, 1918 - March 29th, 1999

Everyday he has the blues, but maybe today, a little worse than usual.

Kathryn Schoonover


Kathryn Schoonover · 50

January 7th, 1949 - March 25th, 1999

She brought a whole new level of meaning to the phrase "going postal."

Cal Ripken


Cal Ripken · 63

December 17th, 1935 - March 25th, 1999

As recently as a week before he died, Cal, Jr. was heard urging his father to "walk it off."

Birdie Tebbetts


Birdie Tebbetts · 86

November 10th, 1912 - March 24th, 1999

Birdie num-nums.

David Strickland


David Strickland · 29

October 14th, 1969 - March 22nd, 1999

Suddenly snoozin'.

Jean Guitton


Jean Guitton · 97

December 31, 1901 - March 21st, 1999

Oldest member of the Academie Francaise, and the author of dozens of books on Catholic philosophy, he was also said to have the ear of Pope Nicholas IV, back in the late 13th century.

Ernie Wise


Ernie Wise · 73

November 27th, 1925 - March 21st, 1999

He's the one with the short, fat, hairy legs and the pennies on his eyelids.

Tofilau Alesana


Tofilau Alesana · 74

June 4th, 1924 - March 19th, 1999



Ernest Gold

March 17th, 1999

Here's a choice little nugget for one lucky Poolster.

Garson Kanin


Garson Kanin · 86

November 24th, 1912 - March 13th, 1999

He wrote Born Yesterday, but that was a long, long time ago.

Yehudi Menuhin


Yehudi Menuhin · 82

April 22nd, 1916 - March 12th, 1999

While he has long been held in high regard in classical music circles, it was not until he started recording with his backup band, The Blowfish, that Yehudi's career really got cranking.

Peggy Cass


Peggy Cass · 74

May 21st, 1924 - March 8th, 1999

Another huge talent. Maybe your grandparents have some idea what she did.

William Wrigley


William Wrigley · 66

January 21st, 1933 - March 8th, 1999

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

Joe DiMaggio


Joe DiMaggio · 84

November 25th, 1914 - March 8th, 1999

His 30,763-day breathing streak is over.

Stanley Kubrick


Stanley Kubrick · 70

July 26th, 1928 - March 7th, 1999

Or: How I Learned To Stop Boring Everybody To Tears And Just Drop Dead.

Lowell Fulson


Lowell Fulson · 77

March 31st, 1921 - March 7th, 1999

He a tramp. He country. He dead, too.

Lord Denning


Lord Denning · 100

December 31, 1899 - March 5th, 1999

Recognized as one of the most influential judges in the history of English common law, His Lordship was also said to have Britain's bushiest ear-hair.

Richard Kiley


Richard Kiley · 76

March 31st, 1922 - March 5th, 1999

He made a name for himself by singing "The Impossible Dream" on Broadway and by fencing small appliances in the garment district.

Harry Blackmun


Harry Blackmun · 90

November 12th, 1908 - March 4th, 1999

Judgment day is at hand, your honor.

Dusty Springfield


Dusty Springfield · 59

April 16th, 1939 - March 2nd, 1999

When we said we needed you, you said you would always stay. It wasn't us who changed, but you, and now you've gone away. Bitch.

Gene Siskel


Gene Siskel · 53

January 26th, 1946 - February 20th, 1999

Two thumbs down. Way down.

Noam Pitlik


Noam Pitlik · 66

December 11th, 1932 - February 18th, 1999

Though unfortunately named, this actor-director had a great deal of talent, in a television sort of way.

John Ehrlichman


John Ehrlichman · 73

March 20th, 1925 - February 14th, 1999

The former Nixon advisor has finally succumbed, 25 years after it was first disclosed that there was a cancer on the Presidency.

Buddy Knox


Buddy Knox · 65

July 20th, 1933 - February 14th, 1999

They call him a pioneer of rock 'n' roll, but if you've ever heard either of his big hits ("Party Doll" and "Hula Rock"), you know that he was just some goofball with the hiccups.

Iris Murdoch


Iris Murdoch · 79

July 15th, 1919 - February 8th, 1999

We know she's not related to Rupert, but we're glad anyway. The only good Murdoch is a dead Murdoch.

King Hussein


King Hussein · 63

November 14th, 1935 - February 7th, 1999

This pretty much ruins Nike's plans for a new line of camel-racing shoes, which were to be called Heir Jordans.

Bobby Troup


Bobby Troup · 80

October 18th, 1918 - February 7th, 1999

When are these young punks gonna learn that there are real consequences to driving around getting your kicks?

Wassily Leontief


Wassily Leontief · 93

August 5th, 1905 - February 5th, 1999

Winner of the 1973 Nobel Prize for Economic Science, he was known to his friends as "Stinker."

John S. Service


John S. Service · 89

August 3rd, 1909 - February 3rd, 1999

A distant relative of John Q. Customer, Mr. Service had been ailing for some time. He is survived by wife Cybil and estranged nephews Bud J. Etcuts and Ed Vertisingexpenses.

Paul Mellon


Paul Mellon · 91

June 11th, 1907 - February 1st, 1999

Apparently, only one player had the foresight to pick him up and squeeze him, thereby discovering that he had gone bad.


Huntz Hall

January 30th, 1999

He ain't no kid anymore, but this is definitely a dead end.

Lili St. Cyr


Lili St. Cyr · 80

June 3rd, 1918 - January 29th, 1999

This legendary stripper starred in 1958's The Naked And The Dead. She just switched roles.

Sarah Delany


Sarah Delany · 109

December 31, 1889 - January 25th, 1999

The worms are having their say, now.

Robert Shaw


Robert Shaw · 82

April 30th, 1916 - January 25th, 1999

No, not the stuffed ham that starred in Jaws and The Sting; he died in '78. This one was a bigtime choral director, which comes dangerously close to being an oxymoron.

Susan Strasberg


Susan Strasberg · 60

May 22nd, 1938 - January 21st, 1999

Conspiracy theorists are already working to connect the dots between Susan (who onced played Anne Frank on Broadway), her acting coach father Lee (a known Communist and a pretty creepy little guy), her close friend and occasional lesbian partner Marilyn (who was personally murdered by JFK), and Bill Clinton.

Charles Brown


Charles Brown · 76

September 13th, 1922 - January 21st, 1999

And Merry Christmas, Charles.


Gerald Klooster

January 13th, 1999

Guys like this won't count in the next game, we can tell you that. He was an Alzheimer's sufferer, and the pawn in a hideous, years-long legal battle between the members of his family. First, his son kidnapped him and filed for cust

Doug Wickenheiser


Doug Wickenheiser · 37

March 30th, 1961 - January 12th, 1999

Hockey is a very rough sport. Of course, Doug died of lung cancer, but it doesn't change the fact that hockey is a very rough sport.

Betty Gerson


Betty Gerson · 84

April 20th, 1914 - January 12th, 1999

If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.


Marion Gilsenan

January 11th, 1999

A Canadian actress who recently starred in a play about a cancer victim. Guess this kinda ruins the ending.

Naomi Mitchison


Naomi Mitchison · 101

January 11, 1897 - January 11th, 1999

This 101-year-old Scottish writer was a source of considerable controversy during her lifetime. No, not because of the sexual themes she explored in the '30s, or her vocal campaigning for abortion rights, but how many Scottish chicks do you know named Naomi?

Iron Eyes Cody


Iron Eyes Cody · 94

April 3rd, 1904 - January 4th, 1999

Crybaby. After his famous TV commercial, he was known for a time as Rust Face.

Jerry Quarry


Jerry Quarry · 53

May 15th, 1945 - January 3rd, 1999

George Foreman called him "the greatest ever boxer who never became champion." That's nice, until you're reminded that George has five boys, all named George.



Guess the Stiff!

Guy was in a rock band for five decades, advocated the use of LSD and marijuana, opposed the use of cocaine and alcohol, and had 3 kids. Someone please send us an obit for this weirdo, please?

(d) January 28th, 2016