For the 23rd year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Elliott Richardson

192

Elliott Richardson · 79

July 20th, 1920 - December 31st, 1999


Wonder what it must have felt like to be replaced by that loser Robert Bork?

Sarah Knauss

191

Sarah Knauss · 119

December 31, 1880 - December 30th, 1999


Forget not famous, she's not even part of the conversation anymore.

Clayton Moore

190

Clayton Moore · 85

September 14th, 1914 - December 28th, 1999


Hiyo, Silver, awaaaaaaay!

Curtis Mayfield

189

Curtis Mayfield · 57

June 3rd, 1942 - December 26th, 1999


Move over, Freddie.

Irving Rapper

188

Irving Rapper · 101

December 31, 1898 - December 20th, 1999


Now, voyager.

Hank Snow

187

Hank Snow · 85

May 9th, 1914 - December 20th, 1999


Didn't stick.

Desmond Llewelyn

186

Desmond Llewelyn · 85

September 12th, 1914 - December 19th, 1999


Apparently, his car had bullet-proof glass, a fog machine and a retractable assault rifle, but no seatbelts. Very clever, Q.

C.  Vann Woodward

185

C. Vann Woodward · 91

November 13th, 1908 - December 17th, 1999


History.

Grover Washington

184

Grover Washington · 56

December 12th, 1943 - December 17th, 1999


It's about time somebody shut him up.

Rex Allen

183

Rex Allen · 78

December 31st, 1920 - December 17th, 1999


Reports say that he was accidentally run over, by a woman who's described as either a caretaker or a friend. Whichever it was, she wasn't very good at it.

Paul Cadmus

182

Paul Cadmus · 94

December 17th, 1904 - December 12th, 1999


The fumes finally got to him.

Joseph Heller

181

Joseph Heller · 76

May 1st, 1923 - December 12th, 1999


The essence of Catch-22 is that if you are concerned enough for your safety to ask to be declared insane, then you are sane enough to go into battle. The essence of Catch-23 is that if you stop breathing, you can't write anymore.

Rick Danko

180

Rick Danko · 56

December 29th, 1942 - December 10th, 1999


Chest fever.

Franjo Tudjman

179

Franjo Tudjman · 77

May 14th, 1922 - December 10th, 1999


The final in the Eastern European Leader Derby of Death is Franjo over Vaclav by a nose.

Kenny Baker

178

Kenny Baker · 78

March 1st, 1921 - December 7th, 1999


Baker's dozin'.

Shirley Hemphill

177

Shirley Hemphill · 52

July 1st, 1947 - December 6th, 1999


Wait a minute, first Mama, now Shirley -- what the hell is happening!?

Rose Bird

176

Rose Bird · 63

November 2nd, 1936 - December 4th, 1999


Got the death penalty.

Madeline Kahn

175

Madeline Kahn · 57

September 29th, 1942 - December 3rd, 1999


It would appear that Gene Wilder, the one with the dick they call the "ovarian cancer wand," has struck again.

Joey Adams

174

Joey Adams · 88

January 6th, 1911 - December 2nd, 1999


Ba-dum bum.

Charlie Byrd

173

Charlie Byrd · 74

September 16th, 1925 - November 30th, 1999


Dead duck.

Gene Rayburn

172

Gene Rayburn · 81

December 22nd, 1917 - November 29th, 1999


Rumor has it that his tombstone will be blank.

Quentin Crisp

171

Quentin Crisp · 90

December 25th, 1908 - November 21st, 1999


Very.

Winnie Palmer

170

Winnie Palmer · 65

November 1st, 1934 - November 20th, 1999


She was a golfer's wife. Isn't that a riot? Let's hear it for The Kim Perrot Renovation.

Doug Sahm

169

Doug Sahm · 58

November 6th, 1941 - November 18th, 1999


He's about a goner.

Paul Bowles

168

Paul Bowles · 88

December 30th, 1910 - November 18th, 1999


Now comforted by the sheltering Earth.

Horst Horst

167

Horst Horst · 93

August 14th, 1906 - November 18th, 1999


Bit D. Dust.

Donald Mills

166

Donald Mills · 84

April 29th, 1915 - November 13th, 1999


Last surviving member of a small, yet fervent cult of deviants who promoted their bizarre agenda of perversion with such musical propaganda as "Swing It Sister," "When You Were Sweet Sixteen" and "You Always Hurt The One You Love.

165

Gaby Casadesus

November 11th, 1999


The celebrated French piano instructor who was known for her impeccable posture at the keyboard. In fact, for twelve consecutive years, she was voted Europe's Most Erect Pianist.

164

Mary Bergman

November 11th, 1999


Blame Canada.

163

Vivian Fuchs

November 11th, 1999


It took him 99 days to cross Antarctica, and then 42 years to die of pneumonia.

Mabel King

162

Mabel King · 66

December 25th, 1932 - November 9th, 1999


Hey, Mama, What's Happening!? Hello?

Lester Bowie

161

Lester Bowie · 58

October 11th, 1941 - November 8th, 1999


Never mind that he jumped around on stage like some kind of a goofball, David's dad could really play that horn.

Leon Stukelj

160

Leon Stukelj · 100

December 11, 1898 - November 8th, 1999


The Slovenian gymnast known for creating the Stukelj Maneuver, a move which was later eliminated from international compulsory competition when overt sex acts were banned.

Joe Serna

159

Joe Serna · 60

September 3rd, 1939 - November 7th, 1999


Truly embodying the American dream, he proved that anything is possible in this great country of ours. From his humble beginnings as a child farm laborer, he rose all the way up to being on 34 lists in The September Lee Jr.

Max Hunter

158

Max Hunter · 77

March 11th, 1922 - November 6th, 1999


Dead as a boiled squirrel.

Malcolm Marshall

157

Malcolm Marshall · 41

April 18th, 1958 - November 4th, 1999


One of the world's most accomplished and celebrated cricket players, which means he couldn't make it in a real sport.

Walter Payton

156

Walter Payton · 45

July 25th, 1954 - November 1st, 1999


Dead meatness.

Greg Moore

155

Greg Moore · 24

April 22nd, 1975 - October 31st, 1999


Drove his car into a wall at 220 miles per hour. That's a Canadian for you.

154

Max Patkin

October 30th, 1999


Goodnight, sweet prince.

De Vol

153

De Vol · 88

September 20th, 1911 - October 27th, 1999


Happy Kyne has met his maker, and there's no mirth in that.

Hoyt Axton

152

Hoyt Axton · 61

March 25th, 1938 - October 26th, 1999


Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea.

Abraham Polonsky

151

Abraham Polonsky · 88

December 5th, 1910 - October 26th, 1999


Now, there's a real American. Fuck you, Kazan.

Charles Simons

150

Charles Simons · 83

August 17th, 1916 - October 26th, 1999


He was Strom Thurmond's former law partner, which somehow raises a glimmer of hope in the eyes of millions.

Payne Stewart

149

Payne Stewart

October 25th, 1999


The jet plane carrying this golfer (he was the stupid-looking one with the knickers) took off from Florida headed for Dallas, and ended up crashing into South Dakota. That, folks, is a serious slice.

John Chafee

148

John Chafee · 77

October 22nd, 1922 - October 24th, 1999


This moderate Republican Senator (actually a donkey in elephant's clothing) was said to be the offspring of one of the most powerful families in all of Rhode Island. So, what, they had an indoor toilet?

147

Jack Lynch

October 20th, 1999


As Ireland's Prime Minister, he made a promise to Northern Ireland not to stand by as violence raged. They're still waiting for Jack to put down his drink and do something.

146

Nathalie Sarraute

October 19th, 1999


French chick, credited with paving the way for the "new novel" movement, and best known for writing about imperceptible movements. Must be working on a real dilly.

Jean Shepherd

145

Jean Shepherd · 78

July 26th, 1921 - October 16th, 1999


Marshall McLuhan once called him "the first radio novelist." Interestingly, he once called Marshall McLuhan "a dried up old bag of shit."

144

Julius Nyerere

October 14th, 1999


Aba gabba BOOM!

143

Marvin Wood

October 13th, 1999


Stiff as a board.

Wilt Chamberlain

142

Wilt Chamberlain · 63

August 21st, 1936 - October 12th, 1999


Never mind the official cause, everybody knows that he simply fucked himself to death.

Milt Jackson

141

Milt Jackson · 74

January 1st, 1925 - October 9th, 1999


Bad vibes.

140

Gorilla Monsoon

October 6th, 1999


No, of course that wasn't his real name, but as a professional wrestler, he needed something that sounded more menacing than Monkey Drizzle.

Akio Morita

139

Akio Morita · 78

January 26th, 1921 - October 3rd, 1999


The co-founder of Sony Corp. and chairman of the multi-billion dollar international conglomerate for nearly 20 years. Not bad for a guy who started out running Arnold's diner on Happy Days.

Kickboy Face

138

Kickboy Face · 53

October 21st, 1945 - October 2nd, 1999


After more than 20 years of loudly calling for all the sober, uptight, boring assholes in the world to fuck off and die, he fucked off and died.

Oseola McCarty

137

Oseola McCarty · 91

March 7th, 1908 - September 26th, 1999


Would it have killed her to send US a few bucks? Oh. It would have? OK.

Judith Exner

136

Judith Exner · 65

January 11th, 1934 - September 24th, 1999


She may or may not have slept with JFK when he was President, but she's sure as hell sleeping with him now.

135

George Scott

September 22nd, 1999


Americans love a winner. As a general rule, however, they are considerably less enamored with a 250-pound mass of lifeless flesh.

Raisa Gorbachev

134

Raisa Gorbachev · 67

January 5th, 1932 - September 20th, 1999


Kaputski.

Frankie Vaughan

133

Frankie Vaughan · 71

February 3rd, 1928 - September 17th, 1999


Sort of a poor man's Anthony Newley. How frightening is that?

Charles Crichton

132

Charles Crichton · 89

August 6th, 1910 - September 14th, 1999


Cut! That's a wrap.

Alfredo Kraus

131

Alfredo Kraus · 71

September 24th, 1927 - September 10th, 1999


Vita e mobile, vita e mobile.

Catfish Hunter

130

Catfish Hunter · 53

April 8th, 1946 - September 9th, 1999


Out of the frying pan, into the ground.

Ruth Roman

129

Ruth Roman · 76

December 22nd, 1922 - September 9th, 1999


An amazingly resilient woman, she survived not only the sinking of the Andrea Doria, but also four dates with a Bonzo-era Ronald Reagan.

Allen Funt

128

Allen Funt · 84

September 16th, 1914 - September 5th, 1999


Smile! You're dead!

Alan Clark

127

Alan Clark · 71

April 13th, 1928 - September 5th, 1999


Sounds like he was kind of a swinger, except for the stories of him flirting with Margaret Thatcher. Eeuuuuuuu.

Charles Lowe

126

Charles Lowe · 87

September 1st, 1912 - September 2nd, 1999


He was the manager-husband of Carol Channing, who recently sued him for divorce. She claimed, among other things, that they had had sex a total of twice in 40 years. We've been wondering what made him do it the second time.

Francis Murphy

125

Francis Murphy · 66

March 25th, 1933 - September 2nd, 1999


Night takes Bishop.

Fritz Shurmur

124

Fritz Shurmur · 67

July 15th, 1932 - August 30th, 1999


Went without a murmur.

Matt Hartl

123

Matt Hartl · 23

August 1st, 1976 - August 30th, 1999


As a redshirt freshman for the Northwestern Wildcats, Matt was used primarily as a blocking back. Henceforth, he will be used primarily as fertilizer.

Leo Castelli

122

Leo Castelli · 91

September 4th, 1907 - August 22nd, 1999


We knew he was into minimalism, but this is ridiculous.

Kim Perrot

121

Kim Perrot · 32

January 18th, 1967 - August 19th, 1999


That's the way the stupid little orange and white ball bounces.

Lane Kirkland

120

Lane Kirkland · 77

March 12th, 1922 - August 14th, 1999


The former head of the AFL-CIO is DOA.

Harold Reese

119

Harold Reese · 81

July 23rd, 1918 - August 14th, 1999


Godspeed, Pee Wee. Thanks for the peanut butter cups.

118

Earle Jorgensen

August 11th, 1999


Not funny, not even a real celebrity ... just dead.

Bob Herbert

117

Bob Herbert · 57

February 7th, 1942 - August 10th, 1999


Creator of the Spice Girls. So, he couldn't've had this car crash, like, three years earlier?

Jennifer Paterson

116

Jennifer Paterson · 71

April 3rd, 1928 - August 10th, 1999


Chain-smoking co-host of a cooking show called "Two Fat Ladies" which featured recipes heavy on the butter. How is it possible that none of us saw this coming?

Helen Rollason

115

Helen Rollason · 43

March 11th, 1956 - August 9th, 1999


British sportscaster chick.

114

Kazuo Miyagawa

August 7th, 1999


The great Japanese cinematographer who was affectionately referred to by Akira Kurosawa as "Needle dick."

113

Victor Mature

August 4th, 1999


Mature, hell, he's dead!

Malachi Martin

112

Malachi Martin · 78

July 23rd, 1921 - July 27th, 1999


From being a Jesuit priest and an associate of Pope John XXIII during the era of the Second Vatican Council, Mal made the natural vocational progression and wrote the best-selling thriller "Hostage To The Devil" in 1976. Look it up.

Harry 'Sweets' Edison

111

Harry 'Sweets' Edison · 83

October 10th, 1915 - July 27th, 1999


Lights out, Edison.

Martin Agronsky

110

Martin Agronsky · 84

January 12th, 1915 - July 25th, 1999


The original talking head is finally freaking dead.

109

King Hassan

July 23rd, 1999


He once had a birthday party where nearly 100 people died. It's good to be the king.

Sandra Gould

108

Sandra Gould · 82

July 23rd, 1916 - July 20th, 1999


Serves her right, the nosy bitch.

Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy

107

Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy · 33

January 7th, 1966 - July 16th, 1999


Authorities suspicious of foul play in this case might want to look into the activities of a player named Byzantium.

John F. Kennedy Jr.

106

John F. Kennedy Jr. · 38

November 25th, 1960 - July 16th, 1999


Now the leading candidate for People magazine's Sexiest Man Who Used To Be Alive.

105

Steve Heaston

July 15th, 1999


Whaddyamean, not a celebrity? He was only the second-best water polo coach that Cal University's ever had. Ingrates.

104

Stanley Durwood

July 14th, 1999


He's credited with inventing the multiplex theater, which means he's directly responsible for turning the majestic Grauman's Chinese into three stuffy little closets. If we had ever heard of him, he might've made a Hate List.

Willard Munger

103

Willard Munger · 88

January 20th, 1911 - July 11th, 1999


The man known as "Mr. Environment" in Minnesota is now part of the environment in Minnesota.

Helen Forrest

102

Helen Forrest · 82

April 12th, 1917 - July 11th, 1999


These days, you can't see Miss Forrest for the trees that are growing in right on top of her.

101

James Farmer

July 9th, 1999


Here's your Freedom Ride, pal.

Pete Conrad

100

Pete Conrad · 69

June 2nd, 1930 - July 8th, 1999


Astronaut Conrad has slipped the surly bonds of Earth and touched the face of God by wiping out on his motorcycle.

Joaquin Rodrigo

99

Joaquin Rodrigo · 97

December 31, 1901 - July 6th, 1999


He composed the famous "Concierto de Aranjuez," and was hung like a mule.

Mark Sandman

98

Mark Sandman · 46

September 24th, 1952 - July 3rd, 1999


Exit Sandman.

97

Mario Puzo

July 2nd, 1999


Sleeps with the fishes.

96

Sylvia Sidney

July 1st, 1999


During her heyday in the '30s, Sylvia was said to have the saddest eyes in Hollywood. She was also famous for a brief but torrid affair with Rin Tin Tin.

95

Joshua Nkomo

July 1st, 1999


After more than 50 years in African politics, including a 12-year stint as vice president of Zimbabwe, Nkomo earned the title "Our Old Man." That's the love of the people talking, folks.

94

Guy Mitchell

July 1st, 1999


He was sort of a Pat Boone kind of a guy, only not as good looking. In other words, he had no redeeming features whatsoever.

93

Forrest Mars

July 1st, 1999


He single-handedly created the Milky Way, Snickers and 3 Musketeers bars. Shouldn't there be, like, a statue of this guy?

92

Edward Dmytryk

July 1st, 1999


As a member of the Hollywood 10, Dmytryk went to prison for refusing to answer questions about the Communist Party. Then he went back and named names after he got out of jail. What a yutz.

Michael Hooker

91

Michael Hooker · 53

June 1st, 1946 - June 29th, 1999


Another household name. We're gettin' sick of this crap, you know that?

Allan Carr

90

Allan Carr

June 28th, 1999


First, he brought us Grease, the musical. As if that weren't enough, he then produced Can't Stop The Music, starring The Village People. Good fucking riddance.

Georgios Papadopoulos

89

Georgios Papadopoulos · 80

May 5th, 1919 - June 27th, 1999


Cancer finally made his heart stopadopoulos.

Marion Motley

88

Marion Motley · 79

June 5th, 1920 - June 27th, 1999


A great deal was made of the fact that Marion was one of the first black NFL players, but what about the remarkable accomplishment of a girl playing fullback?

Henri d'Orleans

87

Henri d'Orleans · 66

June 14th, 1933 - June 19th, 1999


Say a prayer for the pretender.

Bob Bullock

86

Bob Bullock · 69

July 10th, 1929 - June 18th, 1999


Never mind Bob Bullock, where's the next victim?

Basil Hume

85

Basil Hume · 76

March 2nd, 1923 - June 17th, 1999


What's a graveyard gumbo without a little Basil?

84

David Sutch

June 16th, 1999


The erstwhile rock singer and fringe politician was what the British affectionately refer to as "an eccentric," and what we here in America call "a fucking nutcase."

Emma Massey

83

Emma Massey · 122

December 31, 1876 - June 14th, 1999


They say she might have been the oldest person in the world. Or, she might have just looked really, really bad for her age.

DeForest Kelley

82

DeForest Kelley · 79

January 20th, 1920 - June 11th, 1999


All together, everybody ... "He's dead, Jim!"

Eddie Stanky

81

Eddie Stanky · 82

September 3rd, 1916 - June 6th, 1999


And gettin' stankier.

80

Mel Torme

June 5th, 1999


Then again, he may not. The Velvet Fog has lifted.

Zachary Fisher

79

Zachary Fisher · 88

September 26th, 1910 - June 4th, 1999


He was a noted philanthropist, which we guess is what you do when you're really rich and really talentless.

Hillary Brooke

78

Hillary Brooke · 84

September 8th, 1914 - May 25th, 1999


JUST DEAD.

Owen Hart

77

Owen Hart · 34

May 7th, 1965 - May 23rd, 1999


The word is that he did it on purpose, as a tribute to the memory and spirit of Dinky Patterson.

Norman Rossington

76

Norman Rossington · 70

December 24th, 1928 - May 21st, 1999


He was in "A Hard Day's Night," and now he's sleeping like a log.

Augustos Pablo

75

Augustos Pablo · 44

June 21st, 1954 - May 19th, 1999


Like the farmer said to the potato, "I must plant you now and I will dig you later."

Henry Jones

74

Henry Jones · 86

August 1st, 1912 - May 17th, 1999


Something is happening, but you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?

Gene Sarazen

73

Gene Sarazen · 97

February 27th, 1902 - May 13th, 1999


He's credited with inventing the sand wedge. This guy was old.

Shel Silverstein

72

Shel Silverstein · 68

September 25th, 1930 - May 10th, 1999


He just went past where the sidewalk ends.

Dana Plato

71

Dana Plato · 34

November 7th, 1964 - May 8th, 1999


She was on Howard Stern to try and jumpstart her career, and then ODed about 12 hours later, which seems somewhat counter-productive.

Dirk Bogarde

70

Dirk Bogarde · 78

March 28th, 1921 - May 8th, 1999


The star of "Death In Venice" has apparently bought it in London.

Leon Hess

69

Leon Hess · 85

March 13th, 1914 - May 7th, 1999


Y'know, most ex-Nazis took it on the lam to South America, but somehow this guy ends up owning the Jets. We don't get it.

68

Mark Tuinei

May 5th, 1999


Tooey went blooey.

67

Irving Stevens

May 4th, 1999


And don't any of you punks try to tell us that the creator of Irving's Fly Dope ain't a celebrity, goddamnit!

Joe Adcock

66

Joe Adcock · 71

October 30th, 1927 - May 3rd, 1999


How does four home runs and a double in one game grab you?

Tibor Kalman

65

Tibor Kalman · 49

July 6th, 1949 - May 2nd, 1999


He was a graphic designer who died in his 40s after a successful and varied career. What the fuck are we supposed to do with that?

Oliver Reed

64

Oliver Reed · 61

February 13th, 1938 - May 2nd, 1999


Oliver, Oliver, never before has a boy drunken more, you will rue the day -- hey, can you rue when you're dead?

Rory Calhoun

63

Rory Calhoun · 76

August 8th, 1922 - April 28th, 1999


After countless Western movie roles, he played the part of Looney Tunes in the timeless classic Hell Comes To Frogtown. Truth is almost always stranger than fiction.

Al Hirt

62

Al Hirt · 76

November 7th, 1922 - April 27th, 1999


Though hailed the world over as "The King of the Trumpet," it's less widely known that in his home town of New Orleans, he was called "that fat, boring guy."

Roger Troutman

61

Roger Troutman · 47

November 29th, 1951 - April 25th, 1999


Now yielding considerably less bounce to the ounce.

Roman Hruska

60

Roman Hruska · 94

August 16th, 1904 - April 25th, 1999


According to his obituary, he was a U.S. Senator, but for some reason, we thought he was a primitive architectural style.

59

Herbert Young

April 22nd, 1999


Recipient of France's highest military award, the Legion of Honor cross. Do the French have a thing for black guys, or what?

58

Liz Tilberis

April 21st, 1999


She was a hugely successful fashion editor who published her memoirs under the title "No Time To Die." That, however, was last year.

57

Charles Rogers

April 21st, 1999


Way back in the Golden Age of ice cream treats, this popular actor was actually the original inspiration for the Nutty Buddy.

56

Ralph Perk

April 21st, 1999


Oh. Later.

Charlie Whittingham

55

Charlie Whittingham · 86

April 13th, 1913 - April 20th, 1999


Looks like it's the glue factory for ol' Charlie.

Senor Wences

54

Senor Wences · 103

December 31, 1896 - April 20th, 1999


He made it to 103. Apparently, the extraordinary relationship he enjoyed with his right hand didn't hurt him any.

Rick Rude

53

Rick Rude · 40

December 7th, 1958 - April 18th, 1999


One of his fans eulogized him in an e-mail to us, which read "... he was a pretty good guy in real life, and just acted like a schmuck in the ring." Rest in peace, ravishing one.

52

Anthony Newley

April 14th, 1999


Start the world again. He's off.

51

Ellen Corby

April 14th, 1999


Goodnight, Grandma.

Boxcar Willie

50

Boxcar Willie · 67

September 1st, 1931 - April 12th, 1999


It's snake eyes for Boxcar.

49

Jean Vander Pyl

April 10th, 1999


The voice of Wilma Flintstone, and many other beloved characters, has died. Appropriately, her funeral procession will be passing the same house and tree every four seconds.

48

Mary Rathbun

April 10th, 1999


She was a San Francisco AIDS activist who earned her nickname by handing out pot-laced baked goods to sufferers of the disease. She also went out with our PR guy for a while.

Red Norvo

47

Red Norvo · 91

March 31st, 1908 - April 6th, 1999


Hey, whaddyaknow, that's exactly what he died of. He had a red norvo.

46

Early Wynn

April 4th, 1999


Something about the worm getting the early something-or-other. You figure it out.

Lionel Bart

45

Lionel Bart · 68

August 1st, 1930 - April 3rd, 1999


Consider yourself dead meat.

Gary Morton

44

Gary Morton · 74

December 19th, 1924 - March 30th, 1999


This guy was the salt of the Earth.

Joe Williams

43

Joe Williams · 80

December 12th, 1918 - March 29th, 1999


Everyday he has the blues, but maybe today, a little worse than usual.

Kathryn Schoonover

42

Kathryn Schoonover · 50

January 7th, 1949 - March 25th, 1999


She brought a whole new level of meaning to the phrase "going postal."

Cal Ripken

41

Cal Ripken · 63

December 17th, 1935 - March 25th, 1999


As recently as a week before he died, Cal, Jr. was heard urging his father to "walk it off."

Birdie Tebbetts

40

Birdie Tebbetts · 86

November 10th, 1912 - March 24th, 1999


Birdie num-nums.

David Strickland

39

David Strickland · 29

October 14th, 1969 - March 22nd, 1999


Suddenly snoozin'.

Jean Guitton

38

Jean Guitton · 97

December 31, 1901 - March 21st, 1999


Oldest member of the Academie Francaise, and the author of dozens of books on Catholic philosophy, he was also said to have the ear of Pope Nicholas IV, back in the late 13th century.

Ernie Wise

37

Ernie Wise · 73

November 27th, 1925 - March 21st, 1999


He's the one with the short, fat, hairy legs and the pennies on his eyelids.

Tofilau Alesana

36

Tofilau Alesana · 74

June 4th, 1924 - March 19th, 1999


Gesundheit.

35

Ernest Gold

March 17th, 1999


Here's a choice little nugget for one lucky Poolster.

Garson Kanin

34

Garson Kanin · 86

November 24th, 1912 - March 13th, 1999


He wrote Born Yesterday, but that was a long, long time ago.

Yehudi Menuhin

33

Yehudi Menuhin · 82

April 22nd, 1916 - March 12th, 1999


While he has long been held in high regard in classical music circles, it was not until he started recording with his backup band, The Blowfish, that Yehudi's career really got cranking.

Peggy Cass

32

Peggy Cass · 74

May 21st, 1924 - March 8th, 1999


Another huge talent. Maybe your grandparents have some idea what she did.

William Wrigley

31

William Wrigley · 66

January 21st, 1933 - March 8th, 1999


The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

Joe DiMaggio

30

Joe DiMaggio · 84

November 25th, 1914 - March 8th, 1999


His 30,763-day breathing streak is over.

Stanley Kubrick

29

Stanley Kubrick · 70

July 26th, 1928 - March 7th, 1999


Or: How I Learned To Stop Boring Everybody To Tears And Just Drop Dead.

Lowell Fulson

28

Lowell Fulson · 77

March 31st, 1921 - March 7th, 1999


He a tramp. He country. He dead, too.

Lord Denning

27

Lord Denning · 100

December 31, 1899 - March 5th, 1999


Recognized as one of the most influential judges in the history of English common law, His Lordship was also said to have Britain's bushiest ear-hair.

Richard Kiley

26

Richard Kiley · 76

March 31st, 1922 - March 5th, 1999


He made a name for himself by singing "The Impossible Dream" on Broadway and by fencing small appliances in the garment district.

Harry Blackmun

25

Harry Blackmun · 90

November 12th, 1908 - March 4th, 1999


Judgment day is at hand, your honor.

Dusty Springfield

24

Dusty Springfield · 59

April 16th, 1939 - March 2nd, 1999


When we said we needed you, you said you would always stay. It wasn't us who changed, but you, and now you've gone away. Bitch.

Gene Siskel

23

Gene Siskel · 53

January 26th, 1946 - February 20th, 1999


Two thumbs down. Way down.

Noam Pitlik

22

Noam Pitlik · 66

December 11th, 1932 - February 18th, 1999


Though unfortunately named, this actor-director had a great deal of talent, in a television sort of way.

John Ehrlichman

21

John Ehrlichman · 73

March 20th, 1925 - February 14th, 1999


The former Nixon advisor has finally succumbed, 25 years after it was first disclosed that there was a cancer on the Presidency.

Buddy Knox

20

Buddy Knox · 65

July 20th, 1933 - February 14th, 1999


They call him a pioneer of rock 'n' roll, but if you've ever heard either of his big hits ("Party Doll" and "Hula Rock"), you know that he was just some goofball with the hiccups.

Iris Murdoch

19

Iris Murdoch · 79

July 15th, 1919 - February 8th, 1999


We know she's not related to Rupert, but we're glad anyway. The only good Murdoch is a dead Murdoch.

King Hussein

18

King Hussein · 63

November 14th, 1935 - February 7th, 1999


This pretty much ruins Nike's plans for a new line of camel-racing shoes, which were to be called Heir Jordans.

Bobby Troup

17

Bobby Troup · 80

October 18th, 1918 - February 7th, 1999


When are these young punks gonna learn that there are real consequences to driving around getting your kicks?

Wassily Leontief

16

Wassily Leontief · 93

August 5th, 1905 - February 5th, 1999


Winner of the 1973 Nobel Prize for Economic Science, he was known to his friends as "Stinker."

John S. Service

15

John S. Service · 89

August 3rd, 1909 - February 3rd, 1999


A distant relative of John Q. Customer, Mr. Service had been ailing for some time. He is survived by wife Cybil and estranged nephews Bud J. Etcuts and Ed Vertisingexpenses.

Paul Mellon

14

Paul Mellon · 91

June 11th, 1907 - February 1st, 1999


Apparently, only one player had the foresight to pick him up and squeeze him, thereby discovering that he had gone bad.

13

Huntz Hall

January 30th, 1999


He ain't no kid anymore, but this is definitely a dead end.

Lili St. Cyr

12

Lili St. Cyr · 80

June 3rd, 1918 - January 29th, 1999


This legendary stripper starred in 1958's The Naked And The Dead. She just switched roles.

Sarah Delany

11

Sarah Delany · 109

December 31, 1889 - January 25th, 1999


The worms are having their say, now.

Robert Shaw

10

Robert Shaw · 82

April 30th, 1916 - January 25th, 1999


No, not the stuffed ham that starred in Jaws and The Sting; he died in '78. This one was a bigtime choral director, which comes dangerously close to being an oxymoron.

Susan Strasberg

9

Susan Strasberg · 60

May 22nd, 1938 - January 21st, 1999


Conspiracy theorists are already working to connect the dots between Susan (who onced played Anne Frank on Broadway), her acting coach father Lee (a known Communist and a pretty creepy little guy), her close friend and occasional lesbian partner Marilyn (who was personally murdered by JFK), and Bill Clinton.

Charles Brown

8

Charles Brown · 76

September 13th, 1922 - January 21st, 1999


And Merry Christmas, Charles.

7

Gerald Klooster

January 13th, 1999


Guys like this won't count in the next game, we can tell you that. He was an Alzheimer's sufferer, and the pawn in a hideous, years-long legal battle between the members of his family. First, his son kidnapped him and filed for cust

Doug Wickenheiser

6

Doug Wickenheiser · 37

March 30th, 1961 - January 12th, 1999


Hockey is a very rough sport. Of course, Doug died of lung cancer, but it doesn't change the fact that hockey is a very rough sport.

Betty Gerson

5

Betty Gerson · 84

April 20th, 1914 - January 12th, 1999


If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.

4

Marion Gilsenan

January 11th, 1999


A Canadian actress who recently starred in a play about a cancer victim. Guess this kinda ruins the ending.

Naomi Mitchison

3

Naomi Mitchison · 101

January 11, 1897 - January 11th, 1999


This 101-year-old Scottish writer was a source of considerable controversy during her lifetime. No, not because of the sexual themes she explored in the '30s, or her vocal campaigning for abortion rights, but how many Scottish chicks do you know named Naomi?

Iron Eyes Cody

2

Iron Eyes Cody · 94

April 3rd, 1904 - January 4th, 1999


Crybaby. After his famous TV commercial, he was known for a time as Rust Face.

Jerry Quarry

1

Jerry Quarry · 53

May 15th, 1945 - January 3rd, 1999


George Foreman called him "the greatest ever boxer who never became champion." That's nice, until you're reminded that George has five boys, all named George.

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

You're outta here!

(d) October 5th, 2003