He was Strom Thurmond's former law partner, which somehow raises a glimmer of hope in the eyes of millions.

Name
Charles Earl Simons Jr.
Birthday
August 17, 1916
Age
83
Died on
Tuesday, October 26th, 1999
Famous
Confirmed
Tuesday, August 31st, 1999
Charles Earl Simons Jr.
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1.The September '99 Lee Jr.2
 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999