For the 23rd year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Billie Dove

118

Billie Dove · 94

May 14th, 1903 - December 31st, 1997


This bird flew the coop just a few hours too early for some player named Kally.

Michael Kennedy

117

Michael Kennedy · 39

February 27th, 1958 - December 31st, 1997


Another year, another dead Kennedy. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Floyd Cramer

116

Floyd Cramer · 64

October 27th, 1933 - December 31st, 1997


His last date is over.

Denver Pyle

115

Denver Pyle · 77

May 11th, 1920 - December 25th, 1997


Creator of the Denver omelette, God bless him.

Toshiro Mifune

114

Toshiro Mifune · 77

April 1st, 1920 - December 24th, 1997


Okay, so there's six samurai.

Dawn Steele

113

Dawn Steele · 51

August 19th, 1946 - December 20th, 1997


The fake Don Steele.

Juzo Itami

112

Juzo Itami · 64

May 15th, 1933 - December 20th, 1997


The little noodle-head killed himself.

Jack Bruen

111

Jack Bruen · 48

March 25th, 1949 - December 19th, 1997


There's not much Bruen anymore.

Chris Farley

110

Chris Farley · 33

February 15th, 1964 - December 18th, 1997


Ever notice that fat and funny often seem to go hand in hand? Unfortunately, so do fat and dead.

Lillian Disney

109

Lillian Disney · 98

December 31, 1899 - December 16th, 1997


As Walt's sounding board, we have her to thank that that creepy little rodent's name isn't Mortimer Mouse.

Nicolette Larson

108

Nicolette Larson · 45

July 17th, 1952 - December 16th, 1997


It's gonna take a lot more than love to change the way things are now, baby.

Stubby Kaye

107

Stubby Kaye · 79

November 11th, 1918 - December 14th, 1997


Nicely-Nicely's curled up his toesy-woesies. Siddown you're rockin' the boat indeed.

106

Bob Bell

December 8th, 1997


Nobody had this bozo.

Michael Hedges

105

Michael Hedges · 43

December 31st, 1953 - December 2nd, 1997


That harp guitar's gonna come in handy.

104

Stephane Grappelli

December 1st, 1997


Now playing solo gigs at Le Cold Club, n'est-ce pas?

Coleman Young

103

Coleman Young · 79

May 24th, 1918 - November 29th, 1997


Well, he was young once, but now he's dead.

Buck Leonard

102

Buck Leonard · 90

September 8th, 1907 - November 27th, 1997


He was known as The Black Lou Gehrig, which still doesn't do him justice.

Hastings Banda

101

Hastings Banda · 99

December 31, 1898 - November 25th, 1997


He was the leader of Malawi. Tell you what: you FIND Malawi on a map, and we'll write a blurb for him. Good? Good.

Jorge Canosa

100

Jorge Canosa · 58

September 21st, 1939 - November 23rd, 1997


No mas Canosa.

Joanna Moore

99

Joanna Moore · 63

November 10th, 1934 - November 22nd, 1997


She was in 4 episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. That's only 4 more than I was in. Big WHOOP.

Michael Hutchence

98

Michael Hutchence · 37

January 22nd, 1960 - November 22nd, 1997


Suicide brunette.

Eddie Arcaro

97

Eddie Arcaro · 81

February 19th, 1916 - November 4th, 1997


Fuck you!

Wally Bruner

96

Wally Bruner · 66

March 4th, 1931 - November 4th, 1997


As an ABC news correspondent covering the White House, Vietnam and the Dominican Republic, Bruner earned a Peabody Award nomination in 1965; by '68 he was hosting What's My Line? Is it any wonder that we never heard of him?

95

Samuel Fuller

October 30th, 1997


Hats Off, kids, it's The Day Of Reckoning for The Big Red One. Put The Crimson Kimono on ol' White Dog, he's just a Dead Pigeon On Beethoven Street, a.k.a. the Street Of No Return. Yep, It Happened In Hollywood, and now The Baron Of Arizona, one of The Meanest Men In The West, has changed his address to Underworld USA. Like, Verboten!, if you catch our drift.

Anton LaVey

94

Anton LaVey · 67

April 11th, 1930 - October 29th, 1997


You better look at what the news guys say, 'cause you'll never believe us. Hell, we saw the paper and we still don't believe it.

Paul Jarrico

93

Paul Jarrico · 82

January 12th, 1915 - October 28th, 1997


The lists don't come any blacker than the one he's on now.

92

Glenn Buxton

October 19th, 1997


School's out forever.

Nancy Dickerson

91

Nancy Dickerson · 70

January 19th, 1927 - October 18th, 1997


She was the first female news correspondent for CBS, the first female TV reporter on a national political convention floor, and the first female host of a daily network news show, and she now becomes the first significant female stiff about whom we can find nothing even remotely humorous to say.

Audra Lindley

90

Audra Lindley · 79

September 24th, 1918 - October 16th, 1997


Forget Mrs. Roper she's a no-hoper.

James A. Michener

89

James A. Michener · 90

February 3rd, 1907 - October 16th, 1997


We're gonna wash that man right out of our hair.

88

Harold Robbins

October 14th, 1997


Heavens to Betsy or is it the other way around?

87

John Denver

October 12th, 1997


Apparently, since his bags were packed and he was ready to go, he left but, as it turns out, it was not on a jet plane, but in an experimental, two-seater, single-engine job. Still, it seems safe to say that he does not know when he'll be back again, and that babe, he hated to go.

86

Johnny Vandermeer

October 6th, 1997


He was on zero lists. Another no-hitter.

Brian Pillman

85

Brian Pillman · 35

May 22nd, 1962 - October 5th, 1997


Ordinarily, professional wrestlers don't register on our Fame-O-Meter, but the combination of the club foot and the spelling bee championship make "Flyin' Brian" special.

Al Collins

84

Al Collins · 78

January 4th, 1919 - September 30th, 1997


Hey, daddy-o, like, he's gonesville, you dig?

Roy Lichenstein

83

Roy Lichenstein

September 29th, 1997


A picture's worth a thousand words ....

Jimmy Witherspoon

82

Jimmy Witherspoon · 77

August 8th, 1920 - September 18th, 1997


Dead blues guy.

Red Skeleton

81

Red Skeleton · 84

July 18th, 1913 - September 17th, 1997


Good night, and God bless.

Georges Guetary

80

Georges Guetary · 82

February 8th, 1915 - September 13th, 1997


Finally finished building that stairway to paradise.

Burgess Meredith

79

Burgess Meredith · 89

November 16th, 1907 - September 9th, 1997


Yo Mick! Mick? Mick?

Mobuto Seko

78

Mobuto Seko · 66

October 14th, 1930 - September 7th, 1997


By all accounts, he was a guy.

Derek Taylor

77

Derek Taylor · 65

May 7th, 1932 - September 7th, 1997


By all accounts, he was a great guy.

Georg Solti

76

Georg Solti · 84

October 21st, 1912 - September 5th, 1997


A textbook case of acute vowel deficiency.

Mother Teresa

75

Mother Teresa · 87

August 27th, 1910 - September 5th, 1997


We did a ton of research to come up with something really nasty to say about her on this page. She was a terrible poker player.

Hans Eysenck

74

Hans Eysenck · 81

March 4th, 1916 - September 4th, 1997


The author of 1965's Smoking, Health And Personality, which theorized that cancer was caused more by an underlying personality disorder than by smoking, has died

Viktor Frankl

73

Viktor Frankl · 92

March 26th, 1905 - September 2nd, 1997


Having completed his search for meaning in life, he's now on the hunt for meaning in death. Good luck, Doc.

Princess Diana

72

Princess Diana · 36

July 1st, 1961 - August 31st, 1997


Man, does this chick know how to grab headlines or what?

Dodi Al Fayed

71

Dodi Al Fayed · 42

April 15th, 1955 - August 31st, 1997


Dodi? What is that about?

Brandon Tartikoff

70

Brandon Tartikoff · 48

January 13th, 1949 - August 27th, 1997


The boy-genius who gave the world ALF. Bon voyage, B.T.

Nusrat Ali Khan

69

Nusrat Ali Khan · 48

October 13th, 1948 - August 16th, 1997


And the hard-partying Qawwali lifestyle claims another victim.

68

Rex Barney

August 12th, 1997


He pitched a no-hitter for the Brooklyn Dodgers, and then became the P.A. announcer in Baltimore. There's no punch line here, folks, these are just facts.

67

Don Steele

August 5th, 1997


Cancer, schmancer. You try listening to Frankie Valli every day for 30 years.

Jeanne Calment

66

Jeanne Calment · 122

December 31, 1875 - August 4th, 1997


She knew Vincent Van Gogh. Think about that for a minute.

65

Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

August 2nd, 1997


The saxophonist-singer-composer was renowned for his political clout, as well as for having hundreds of wives and girlfriends. Do you get the feeling that music is a much bigger deal over in Africa than it is here?

William S. Burroughs

64

William S. Burroughs · 83

February 5th, 1914 - August 2nd, 1997


Possibly the longest, slowest overdose in history.

Svyatoslav Richter

63

Svyatoslav Richter · 82

March 20th, 1915 - August 1st, 1997


Word is he was a mother on the keys.

Edith Fore

62

Edith Fore · 81

April 4th, 1916 - July 31st, 1997


America's favorite old lady has fallen and failed to get up for the last time.

61

Ben Hogan

July 28th, 1997


One of the greatest golfers ever. Ugly as a two-dollar mule, but a great golfer.

William Brennan

60

William Brennan · 91

April 25th, 1906 - July 24th, 1997


The Justice is at peace.

59

Andrew Cunanan

July 23rd, 1997


Speaking of schmucks, this guy became a celebrity almost overnight. That kind of fame he needed like a hole in the head.

58

Eugene Shoemaker

July 18th, 1997


Star-gazing was his life, until he got behind the wheel of a car. Shoulda kept his eyes on the road, the schmuck.

57

Gianni Versace

July 15th, 1997


That serial killer stuff is a bunch of hooey. Our underworld sources tell us that Gianni's death was really a contract killing, ordered by the heads of the Five Fashion Families to keep him from going public with the Versace Papers.

56

Charles Kuralt

July 4th, 1997


Oy, gevalt, we lost Kuralt.

Johnny Copeland

55

Johnny Copeland · 60

March 27th, 1937 - July 3rd, 1997


The Texas Twister done blew hisse'f out.

54

Jimmy Stewart

July 2nd, 1997


Mr. Smith goes to...well, you know.

Robert Mitchum

53

Robert Mitchum · 79

August 6th, 1917 - July 1st, 1997


You want tough? Mitchum made guys like Charles Bronson and Sylvester Stallone look like the Lennon Sisters.

William Hickey

52

William Hickey · 69

September 19th, 1927 - June 29th, 1997


Teenagers the world over mourn the loss of this pioneer in the field of making out.

Jacques Cousteau

51

Jacques Cousteau · 87

June 11th, 1910 - June 25th, 1997


After a lifetime of exploration, he finally reached that most elusive mystery of the deep: Davy Jones' locker.

Brian Keith

50

Brian Keith · 75

November 14th, 1921 - June 24th, 1997


Three down, two to go.

Richard Jaeckel

49

Richard Jaeckel · 70

October 10th, 1926 - June 14th, 1997


Guess it's character actor season over at the Hollywood Forest Lawn.

Magda Gabor

48

Magda Gabor · 82

June 11th, 1914 - June 6th, 1997


Damn .... Wrong one again.

Ronnie Lane

47

Ronnie Lane · 51

April 1st, 1946 - June 4th, 1997


There are but two Small Faces left.

46

Jeff Buckley

May 29th, 1997


A chip off the old block.

45

George Fenneman

May 29th, 1997


Sooner or later, if you bet your life enough times, you're gonna lose.

Mel Bay

44

Mel Bay · 84

February 25th, 1913 - May 14th, 1997


He's now in the Inner Circle of Fifths.

Harry Blackstone

43

Harry Blackstone · 62

June 30th, 1934 - May 14th, 1997


Now you see him .... Now you don't.

42

Alvy Moore

May 4th, 1997


Now you're talkin'. Hank Kimball may have been little more than an annoying agriculture agent to you, but to us he was a legend. Well, not a legend, exactly. More like an old friend of the family. Well, not old, really. Hey, come to think of it, he wasn't even family. Matter of fact, he was kinda on the annoying side, now that you mention it. What was the question again?

Mike Royko

41

Mike Royko · 64

September 19th, 1932 - April 29th, 1997


Knock, knock. Who's there? Owen. Owen who? 0-and-14. That's how the Cubbies started the baseball season this year. Then this guy, the so-called Heart and Soul of Chicago, suddenly kicks the bucket. Coincidence? We don't think so.

40

Paul Lambert

April 27th, 1997


Ditto.

John Beal

39

John Beal · 87

August 13th, 1909 - April 26th, 1997


Two-bit character actor, but it's been a slow month, y'know?

Pat Paulsen

38

Pat Paulsen · 69

July 6th, 1927 - April 24th, 1997


Dangit. Just when we were ready to vote for him.

Laura Nyro

37

Laura Nyro · 49

October 18th, 1947 - April 8th, 1997


Rhymes with "hero," as in sandwich, something she had plenty of at that Stone Soul Picnic of hers.

36

Jack Cooke

April 6th, 1997


Chalk up another rich old bastard on the tote board.

35

Allen Ginsberg

April 5th, 1997


Ah.

Harold Melvin

34

Harold Melvin · 57

June 25th, 1939 - March 24th, 1997


If you don't know him by now, you will never, never, never know him.

Tony Zale

33

Tony Zale · 83

May 29th, 1913 - March 20th, 1997


He whupped Graziano twice, but he couldn't outlast those weasels Parkinson and Alzheimer.

William DeKooning

32

William DeKooning · 92

April 24th, 1904 - March 18th, 1997


And speaking of abstract ....

Fred Zinnemann

31

Fred Zinnemann · 89

April 29th, 1907 - March 14th, 1997


By all accounts, his is a body of work that speaks for itself. Guess it'll have to, 'cause he's dead.

LaVern Baker

30

LaVern Baker · 67

November 11th, 1929 - March 10th, 1997


Not even Jim Dandy can get her out of this one.

The Notorious B.I.G

29

The Notorious B.I.G · 24

May 21st, 1972 - March 9th, 1997


R.I.P.

Judi Bari

28

Judi Bari · 47

November 7th, 1949 - March 2nd, 1997


How much wood could a wood chick save if a wood chick didn't die of cancer?

Ben Raleigh

27

Ben Raleigh · 83

June 16th, 1913 - February 26th, 1997


This Grammy-winning songwriter burned to death in a kitchen fire, and was later cremated. Hopefully, they didn't charge full price.

David Doyle

26

David Doyle · 67

December 1st, 1929 - February 26th, 1997


You may remember him as that marble-mouthed loser from Charlie's Angels. Or, you may remember him as Tom Bosley, which used to really piss him off.

Albert Shanker

25

Albert Shanker · 68

September 14th, 1928 - February 22nd, 1997


He was a cold sore on the lip of right-wing government.

Tony Williams

24

Tony Williams · 51

December 12th, 1945 - February 21st, 1997


He's gigging with Miles again.

Deng Xiaoping

23

Deng Xiaoping · 92

August 22nd, 1904 - February 19th, 1997


Ding dong, ding dong, Deng Xiaopeng is dead and gone.

Don Porter

22

Don Porter · 84

September 24th, 1912 - February 11th, 1997


When Gidget used to squeal "Daddy'll just die!" she didn't know how right she was. He just died.

Brian Connolly

21

Brian Connolly · 51

October 5th, 1945 - February 9th, 1997


He got so sick of trying to tell everybody that Little Willy Willy won't go home, that he finally kicked the bucket.

Pamela Harriman

20

Pamela Harriman · 76

March 20th, 1920 - February 5th, 1997


She slept with a bunch of political bigwigs and ended up as the U.S. Ambassador to France. You didn't really think Madonna was breaking new ground, did you?

Marjorie Reynolds

19

Marjorie Reynolds · 79

August 12th, 1917 - February 1st, 1997


The end of the life of Mrs. Riley.

Herb Caen

18

Herb Caen · 80

April 3rd, 1916 - February 1st, 1997


They say he coined the term "beatnik." Now he's dead. Crazy.

17

Cecil Lewis

January 27th, 1997


He was decorated as a World War I flying ace, won an Academy Award for his screen adaptation of Pygmalion and also wrote 19 novels, but he'll be best remembered for the endearing relationship he shared with Beany.

16

Richard Slattery

January 27th, 1997


Slattery will get you nowhere.

Guy Raymond

15

Guy Raymond · 85

July 1st, 1911 - January 26th, 1997


The trouble with tribbles is that it's the only thing anyone will ever remember about this guy.

Jeane Dixon

14

Jeane Dixon · 93

January 5th, 1904 - January 25th, 1997


Guess she didn't see that coming.

Richard Berry

13

Richard Berry · 61

April 11th, 1935 - January 23rd, 1997


Great. Now we'll never know the words to "Louie, Louie."

Colonel Tom Parker

12

Colonel Tom Parker · 87

June 26th, 1909 - January 21st, 1997


Does this mean a whole new rash of idiots who can't accept reality will report seeing this guy pumping gas?

Edith Brown

11

Edith Brown · 100

December 31, 1896 - January 20th, 1997


The sinkable Edith Brown.

Curt Flood

10

Curt Flood · 59

January 18th, 1938 - January 20th, 1997


We can only hope that the Major Leaguers of today fully appreciate the enormous personal sacrifices made on their behalf by this courageous man and great ballplayer.

James Dickey

9

James Dickey · 73

February 2nd, 1923 - January 19th, 1997


One little-publicized fact about the author of Deliverance is that on the set of the movie, he kept begging to be the stand-in for Ned Beatty.

Paul Tsongas

8

Paul Tsongas · 55

February 14th, 1941 - January 18th, 1997


So longas.

Clyde Tombaugh

7

Clyde Tombaugh · 90

February 4th, 1906 - January 17th, 1997


He was credited with discovering Pluto, by many accounts the most popular of the Disney characters.

Robert Irsay

6

Robert Irsay · 73

March 5th, 1923 - January 14th, 1997


In a strange funeral ceremony, his body was taken out of town by a Mayflower moving van in the middle of the night.

Jesse White

5

Jesse White · 80

January 4th, 1917 - January 6th, 1997


It's a matter of social record that this two-bit never-was (best known as the original Maytag repairman) was a dick.

Burton Lane

4

Burton Lane · 84

February 2nd, 1912 - January 5th, 1997


How are things in Glocca Morra, Burt?

Randy California

3

Randy California · 45

February 20th, 1951 - January 2nd, 1997


Fresh garbage.

Harry Helmsley

2

Harry Helmsley · 87

March 4th, 1909 - January 2nd, 1997


This is the guy that gave Leona all her money. Thanks a lot, Harry.

Townes Zandt

1

Townes Zandt · 52

March 7th, 1944 - January 1st, 1997


This was a real loss.

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The fact that the singing governor made it to 101 convinces us that the key to longevity is to declare someone or something to be your sunshine (preferably your only sunshine) and then to repeatedly implore to no one in particular that said sunshine not be taken away.

(d) November 5th, 2000