The Stiffs for 1996

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Carl Sagan · 62

November 9th, 1934 - December 20th, 1996

There are billions and billions of gags we could have written about him, but they're all the same one.

Eadie Del Rubio · 75

August 23rd, 1921 - December 16th, 1996

You haven't lived until you've heard The Del Rubio Triplets' version of "El Condor Pasa."

Mary Leakey · 83

February 6th, 1913 - December 9th, 1996

Night night, monkey lady.

Mario Savio · 53

December 8th, 1942 - November 6th, 1996

He was the heart of the Berkeley free speech movement. Well, he had heart trouble, and now he's entirely free of both speech and movement.

Marcel Carne · 90

August 18th, 1906 - October 31st, 1996

He directed Les Enfants Du Paradis, and now he's one of them.

Morey Amsterdam · 87

December 14th, 1908 - October 28th, 1996

The Human Croak Machine.

David Viscott

October 14th, 1996

The doctor is out.

Rene Lacoste

October 12th, 1996

See you later, alligator.

Ted Bessell

October 6th, 1996

That Girl's ex-boyfriend, emphasis on the x.

Dorothy Lamour

September 22nd, 1996

She's on the road to nowhere.

Spiro Agnew · 77

November 9th, 1918 - September 17th, 1996

The shock of his death was universal. No one seemed to know that he was still alive.

McGeorge Bundy

September 16th, 1996

Just another dead politician.

Juliet Prowse · 59

September 25th, 1936 - September 14th, 1996

She was the acrobatic dancer with pancreatic cancer.

Tupac Shakur · 25

June 16th, 1971 - September 13th, 1996

What's Tupac spelled backwards?

Joanne Dru · 74

January 31st, 1922 - September 10th, 1996

She wore a yellow ribbon. Now she's dead.

Bill Monroe · 84

September 13th, 1911 - September 9th, 1996

That high lonesome sound just got a little higher and a lot more lonesome.

Greg Morris · 62

September 27th, 1933 - August 27th, 1996

The movie version of Mission: Impossible was painful to us. Looks like it was fatal to him.

Tom Mees · 46

October 13th, 1949 - August 14th, 1996

Excellent Swimmer? Perhaps Not.

Claudette Colbert

July 30th, 1996

It happened one night in July.

Virginia Christine · 76

March 5th, 1920 - July 24th, 1996

It may be mountain grown, Mrs. Olsen, and that may well be the richest kind, but if you drink enough of it, it'll kill you, as we guess you're now aware.

Jessica Mitford

July 23rd, 1996

In 1963, she authored The American Way Of Death. So, Jessica, what too

Herb Edelman

July 21st, 1996

One of the poker buddies from The Odd Couple. Stay away from the brown sandwiches.

Chas Chandler · 57

December 18th, 1938 - July 17th, 1996

If there's a rock 'n' roll heaven, then you know they got a hell of a band, except for the bass player.

John Chancellor · 68

July 14th, 1927 - July 12th, 1996

Somewhere in custody.

Melvin Belli

July 9th, 1996

Lawyer.

Margaux Hemingway · 42

February 16th, 1954 - July 1st, 1996

Closet Karen Carpenter fan, right to the end.

Pamela Mason · 80

March 10th, 1916 - June 29th, 1996

Here's a weird one. She had her own TV show, and was in no fewer than four films as herself, and yet, until she died, we'd never heard of her.

Albert Broccoli · 87

April 5th, 1909 - June 27th, 1996

Just as well. It's awful to think of anyone spending the rest of his days as a vegetable.

Andreas Papandreou

June 23rd, 1996

As it turns out, this long-time leader was pretty cool, for a Greek.

Ella Fitzgerald · 79

April 25th, 1917 - June 15th, 1996

A tisket, a tasket, they put her in a casket ....

Jo Fleet

June 10th, 1996

Kate is now way east of Eden.

Max Factor · 91

August 18th, 1904 - June 7th, 1996

Turned in, tuned out, dropped dead.

Timothy Leary · 75

October 22nd, 1920 - May 31st, 1996

Turned in, tuned out, dropped dead.

Johnny "Guitar" Watson · 61

February 3rd, 1935 - May 17th, 1996

The axe has fallen.

Lee Mathis · 44

March 10th, 1952 - May 1st, 1996

We never heard of him either, but Julie swears he was a big soap opera star.

William Colby

April 27th, 1996

It further tests our dwindling faith in government that the former head of the CIA can't paddle a canoe without drowning.

Erma Bombeck · 69

February 21st, 1927 - April 22nd, 1996

The grass is greener still in the cemetery.

Jimmy Snyder

April 21st, 1996

Here's where we make our case for euthanasia.

Greer Garson

April 6th, 1996

Goodbye, Mrs. Chips.

Whit Bissel

April 5th, 1996

Character actor who made a fortune in the carpet sweeper business.

John McSherry · 51

September 11th, 1944 - April 1st, 1996

Through the magic of videotape, he gave us solid evidence that the bigger they come, the harder they fall.

Edmund Muskie · 81

March 28th, 1914 - March 26th, 1996

He was a big fish in a little state.

Krzysztof Kieslowski · 54

June 27th, 1941 - March 13th, 1996

Blue. White. Red. Now. He's. Dead.

Vince Edwards · 67

July 9th, 1928 - March 11th, 1996

Ben Casey has struck out.

George Burns · 100

December 31, 1896 - March 9th, 1996

The granddaddy of 'em all, G.B. appeared on more Dead Pool lists than any other celebrity in history. We understand he was once famous for something other than being old.

Minnie Pearl · 83

October 25th, 1912 - March 4th, 1996

The world was her oyster.

Marguerite Duras · 81

April 4th, 1914 - March 3rd, 1996

Maggie D was one of France's most famed and prolific writers, but she never had a TV show, so you probably never heard of her.

Haing Ngor · 55

March 22nd, 1940 - February 25th, 1996

He survived the killing fields of Cambodia, but they got him on the streets of L.A.

Morton Gould · 82

December 10th, 1913 - February 21st, 1996

Modern decomposer.

Charlie Finley · 77

February 22nd, 1918 - February 19th, 1996

For his part in bringing the designated hitter to Major League Baseball, may he burn in hell. Bitter? You bet we are.

Roger Bowen · 63

May 25th, 1932 - February 16th, 1996

He met his maker one day after McLean Stevenson met his. Must've been Bump Henry Blake Week.

Edmund G. "Pat" Brown · 90

April 21st, 1905 - February 16th, 1996

How do you get Pat out of Edmund?

Brownie McGhee · 80

November 30th, 1915 - February 16th, 1996

Oh, fudge, Brownie's dead.

Tommy Rettig · 54

December 10th, 1941 - February 15th, 1996

The first in a series of child-actors who played second fiddle to a dog.

McLean Stevenson · 68

November 14th, 1927 - February 15th, 1996

Goodbye, Larry.

Martin Balsam · 76

November 4th, 1919 - February 13th, 1996

You'd know him if you saw him, really you would.

Guy Madison · 74

January 19th, 1922 - February 6th, 1996

A friend of ours mourned his recent passing, saying how much he'd idolized him on Lost In Space. Touching, except that it was Guy Williams who was on Lost In Space.

Audrey Meadows · 73

February 8th, 1922 - February 3rd, 1996

Pow, right in the kisser.

Gene Kelly · 83

August 23rd, 1912 - February 2nd, 1996

Didn't anyone ever tell him if he didn't come in out of the rain he'd catch his death?

Shamus Culhane · 87

November 12th, 1908 - February 2nd, 1996

Pioneering animator of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs fame. In his later years, he came to be known as "Coughie."

Les Baxter · 73

March 14th, 1922 - January 15th, 1996

In fact, there's a lot less Baxter, now that you mention it.

Minnesota Fats · 82

January 19th, 1913 - January 15th, 1996

An octogenarian that goes by the name "Fats"?! How did we miss this one? It's downright embarrassing.

Chubby Wise · 80

October 2nd, 1915 - January 6th, 1996

Actually, he was neither.

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!