The Stiffs for 2020

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Dawn Wells · 82

October 18th, 1938 - December 30th, 2020

OK - we can finally put this one to rest: Mary Anne was the hot one.

Pierre Cardin · 98

July 2nd, 1922 - December 29th, 2020

Say what you want - dude made some WEIRD ass clothes.

Phil Niekro · 81

April 1st, 1939 - December 26th, 2020

His nickname was "Knucksle". Seriously. How does anyone just let something that stupid be their nickname?

Dick Allen · 78

March 8th, 1942 - December 7th, 2020

He wore a batting helmet in the field to protect himself from objects thrown from the stands. Philadelphia: Queen of our Cities.

Chuck Yeager · 97

February 13th, 1923 - December 7th, 2020

Boom.

David Lander · 73

June 22nd, 1947 - December 4th, 2020

Sure, he was Squiggy. But he was also the voice of Smart Ass, the chief weasel of Judge Doom's Toon Patrol in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".

David Prowse · 85

July 1st, 1935 - November 28th, 2020

Later, Vader.

Diego Maradona · 60

October 30th, 1960 - November 25th, 2020

DEAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

David Dinkins · 93

April 10th, 1927 - November 23rd, 2020

First black mayor of New York City. He lost to Rudy Giuliani in 1993, which at the time seemed reasonable. Not so much now.

Alex Trebek · 80

July 22nd, 1940 - November 8th, 2020

I'll take "Incurable diseases" for $2000, Alex.

Norm Crosby · 93

September 15th, 1927 - November 7th, 2020

He was called "The Master of Malaprop", which is where you purposely use the wrong word in a sentence, making it hilarious. For example, saying "You could have knocked me over with a fender." We assume the word "hilarious" meant something different back in the 60's.

Sean Connery · 90

August 25th, 1930 - October 31st, 2020

Diamonds are forever. Bonds? Not so much.

Jerry Walker · 78

March 16th, 1942 - October 23rd, 2020

Mr. Nojangles.

James Randi · 92

August 7th, 1928 - October 20th, 2020

Abracadaver.

Roberta McCain · 108

February 7th, 1912 - October 12th, 2020

Died at 108, outliving 2 of her 3 kids. Pretty badass, honestly.

Joe Morgan · 77

September 19th, 1943 - October 11th, 2020

Considered the greatest second baseman of all time. Sorry. That's all we got. Sports figures with NO scandals are just impossible. The guy was even accused of being a drug mule, and that turned out to be completely false. If we come up with something, we'll let you know.

Whitey Ford · 91

October 21st, 1928 - October 8th, 2020

The Chairman is as stiff as a board.

Eddie Van Halen · 65

January 26th, 1955 - October 6th, 2020

Runnin' with the Devil.

Bob Gibson · 84

November 9th, 1935 - October 2nd, 2020

"He'd knock down his own grandmother if she dared to challenge him," is actually a compliment for a pitcher. Few things are as boring here as scandal-free athletes.

Helen Reddy · 78

October 25th, 1941 - September 29th, 2020

Not ready.

Jackie Stallone · 98

November 29th, 1921 - September 21st, 2020

Frank's finally going to have to move out.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg · 87

March 15th, 1933 - September 18th, 2020

We think we speak for most Americans when we say: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!

Diana Rigg · 82

July 20th, 1938 - September 10th, 2020

A Lannister always pays their debt, but a Tyrell pretty much always dies.

Lou Brock

September 6th, 2020

Stole home.

Mike Sexton

September 6th, 2020

The Commissioner sat next to him at a charity poker tournament 6 years ago. He leaned over and asked him "Did you know what I was holding the last hand?" He said "I know what you're holding every hand. Maybe drink less." Kinda liked him.

Sumner Redstone · 97

May 27th, 1923 - August 11th, 2020

Lots of money, two ex-wives, a handful of kids, gave some money to charities, a lot to political campaigns, and tried to have a reporter from MTV killed. It's the resume of every rich guy in LA.

Wilford Brimley · 85

September 27th, 1934 - August 1st, 2020

Believe it or not, in 1985 he was 20 years younger than all the other actors in Cocoon.

Herman Cain · 74

December 13th, 1945 - July 30th, 2020

Crazy. He was completely healthy at a rally in Tulsa last month, and now he's dead of Covid. Hard to imagine.

Olivia de Havilland · 104

July 1st, 1916 - July 26th, 2020

Do you know how many ways there are for deadpoolers to spell this name wrong? Well, we do. SO glad she's dead.

Lou Henson · 88

January 10th, 1932 - July 25th, 2020

Somehow the winningest basketball coach at Illinois made it through the Fame Committee. They probably thought he was the Muppets guy.

Regis Philbin · 88

August 25th, 1931 - July 24th, 2020

Final answer?

John Lewis · 80

February 21st, 1940 - July 17th, 2020

Talk about #BlackLivesMatter.

Charlie Daniels · 83

October 28th, 1936 - July 6th, 2020

How can you not respect the man that wrote the lyrics "Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough, Granny, does your dog bite? No child, no."?

Hugh Downs · 99

February 14th, 1921 - July 1st, 2020

2020 86ed another 20/20

Carl Reiner · 98

March 22nd, 1922 - June 29th, 2020

It looks like his autobiography "Too Busy To Die" will need to be published posthumously.

Ian Holm · 88

September 12th, 1931 - June 19th, 2020

In a hole in the ground there no longer lived a hobbit.

Vera Lynn · 103

March 20th, 1917 - June 18th, 2020

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

Jean Kennedy Smith · 92

February 20th, 1928 - June 18th, 2020

It seems like we have an endless supply of these.

Christo · 84

June 13th, 1935 - May 31st, 2020

Wrapped up.

Larry Kramer · 84

June 25th, 1935 - May 27th, 2020

He wrote "The Destiny of Me". That's it. That's the obit.

Fred Willard · 86

September 18th, 1933 - May 15th, 2020

He said he was born in 1939, but census records (and his daughter) say he was born in 1933. So your beloved comedian was a liar.

Jerry Stiller · 92

June 8th, 1927 - May 11th, 2020

The 2020 Airing of Grievances will not be postponed in his honor.

Little Richard · 87

December 5th, 1932 - May 9th, 2020

From the early, early mornin' till the early, early night
The embalmer dealin' with this hairdo gonna say it still ain't right.

Roy Horn · 75

October 3rd, 1944 - May 8th, 2020

He always blamed himself for getting mauled onstage by a tiger. In his defense, everyone else blamed him, too.

Don Shula · 90

January 4th, 1930 - May 4th, 2020

The old don now sleeps with the fishes.

Brian Dennehy · 81

July 9th, 1938 - April 15th, 2020

It is highly unlikely that Callahan Auto is going to recover from this.

Hank Steinbrenner · 63

April 2nd, 1957 - April 14th, 2020

Fortunate Son

Linda Tripp · 70

November 24th, 1949 - April 8th, 2020

Remember when scandals were so much simpler?

Herb Stempel · 93

December 19th, 1926 - April 7th, 2020

For 7 points - who was the schmuck who cheated at game shows and ended up with absolutely nothing?

John Prine · 73

October 10th, 1946 - April 7th, 2020

He won a lifetime achievement award and then died.

Honor Blackman · 94

August 22nd, 1925 - April 5th, 2020

She was 94. Let’s be honest: The galore was gone.

Tom Dempsey · 73

January 12th, 1947 - April 4th, 2020

Even we have to tip our hat to an NFL placekicker born without toes.

Ira Einhorn · 79

May 15th, 1940 - April 3rd, 2020

The Unicorn Killer was the rare combo of convicted murderer and environmental activist.

Kenny Rogers · 81

August 21st, 1938 - March 20th, 2020

Not many people can write a hit song about gang rape.

Max von Sydow · 90

April 10th, 1929 - March 8th, 2020

It takes some range to play Jesus Christ and Ming the Merciless.

Javier de Cuellar · 100

January 19th, 1920 - March 4th, 2020

He finally relinquished his grip on the coveted claim of being the oldest living former Peruvian prime minister.

James Lipton · 93

September 19th, 1926 - March 2nd, 2020

The fact that he was a pimp in Paris for a time seems to have been overshadowed by his skill at interviewing actors.

Jack Welch · 84

November 19th, 1935 - March 1st, 2020

Lights out.

Clive Cussler · 88

July 15th, 1931 - February 26th, 2020

Check out his latest book "Decomposing Old White Guy".

Hosni Mubarak · 91

May 4th, 1928 - February 25th, 2020

Croak like an Egyptian.

Robert Conrad · 89

March 1st, 1930 - February 8th, 2020

He recorded a song called Bye Bye Baby, acted in Wild Wild West and Baa Baa Black Sheep and is now busy working on his latest project, Bye Bye Bobby.

Orson Bean · 91

July 22nd, 1928 - February 7th, 2020

Planted.

Kirk Douglas · 103

December 9th, 1916 - February 5th, 2020

Now in a gunfight at the way, WAY less than OK Corral.

Mary Higgins Clark · 92

December 24th, 1927 - January 31st, 2020

The plot thins.

Kobe Bryant · 41

August 23rd, 1978 - January 26th, 2020

Dude goes down in a helicopter with his daughter and you came here to see what nasty thing we write about him? What is WRONG with you?

Just kidding. We couldn't think of anything.

Terry Jones · 77

February 1st, 1942 - January 21st, 2020

Spammed.

Buck Henry · 89

December 9th, 1930 - January 8th, 2020

Say what you will about the guy who played the pedophile babysitter on SNL - we liked him.

Neil Peart · 67

September 12th, 1952 - January 7th, 2020

In no rush. At all.

Sam Wyche · 75

January 5th, 1945 - January 5th, 2020

No huddle.

Don Larsen · 90

August 7th, 1929 - January 1st, 2020

First stiff of the year, and it's a Yankee. 2020 is looking good already.

David Stern · 77

September 22nd, 1942 - January 1st, 2020

NBA commish for 30 years and only had FOUR lockouts! Talk about your overachiever!

Year	Stiffs
2024	41
2023	54
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!