The Stiffs for 2007

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Oscar Peterson · 82

August 15th, 1925 - December 23rd, 2007

Dead AND Canadian.

Ruth Wallis · 87

January 5th, 1920 - December 22nd, 2007

Heave Ho, Heave Ho.

Frank Capra, Jr. · 73

March 20th, 1934 - December 19th, 2007

Guess what line of work he was in.

Dan Fogelberg · 56

August 13th, 1951 - December 16th, 2007

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean, we've hated this guy.

Ike Turner · 76

November 5th, 1931 - December 12th, 2007

Looks like he beat Tina to death.

Evel Knievel · 69

October 17th, 1938 - November 30th, 2007

Finally, he successfully clears the River Styx.

Henry Hyde · 83

April 18th, 1924 - November 29th, 2007

Dr. Jekyll, however, is doing fine.

Ian Smith · 88

April 8th, 1919 - November 20th, 2007

Politician.

Joe Nuxhall · 79

July 30th, 1928 - November 15th, 2007

The youngest pitcher ever to appear in a Major League game is now just another dead guy.

Norman Mailer · 84

January 31st, 1923 - November 10th, 2007

Thankfully, the author of The Naked And The Dead has aligned himself with the latter.

Laraine Day · 87

October 13th, 1920 - November 10th, 2007

Call Dr. Kildare. Or don't.

Paul Tibbets · 92

February 23rd, 1915 - November 1st, 2007

Paul fall down. Go BOOM.

Robert Goulet · 73

November 26th, 1933 - October 30th, 2007

There were a lot of high points in his glorious career, but perhaps our favorite is when he sang the Canadian national anthem at WrestleMania VI in Toronto. Look it up.

Joey Bishop · 89

February 3rd, 1918 - October 17th, 2007

Night takes Bishop.

Deborah Kerr · 86

September 30th, 1921 - October 16th, 2007

Pronounced "car," and then scrapped for parts.

Marcel Marceau · 84

March 22nd, 1923 - September 22nd, 2007

... ...

Alice Ghostley · 83

August 14th, 1924 - September 21st, 2007

Now, how are we supposed to improve on that?

Brett Somers · 83

July 11th, 1924 - September 15th, 2007

Once Charles Nelson Reilly died, there was nobody left who would talk to her.

Bobby Byrd · 73

August 15th, 1934 - September 12th, 2007

Get up (get on up)
Get Up! (get on up)
GET UP!! (get on up)

Jane Wyman · 90

January 5th, 1917 - September 10th, 2007

She married Ronald Reagan after they co-starred in a movie called Brother Rat. There's gotta be something there, but we just can't come up with it.

Luciano Pavarotti · 71

October 12th, 1935 - September 6th, 2007

Considered by many to be one of the greatest tenors who ever lived, he was known to friends and family as "Big Stinky."

Richard Jewell · 44

December 17th, 1962 - August 29th, 2007

He was living proof of the old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished."
Now, he's not even that.

Butch van Breda Kolff · 84

October 28th, 1922 - August 22nd, 2007

He spent almost 50 years coaching basketball, in both college and the pros, and never won a championship. Cool name, though.

Leona Helmsley · 87

July 4th, 1920 - August 20th, 2007

She left $12 million to her dog, but not before having his nuts cut off. What a bitch!

Eddie Griffin · 25

May 30th, 1982 - August 17th, 2007

He may have been a great power forward, but not up against a moving train.

Brooke Astor · 105

March 30th, 1902 - August 13th, 2007

And with her final philanthropic act, she makes 531 players a little richer. Nice lady.

Phil Rizzuto · 89

September 25th, 1917 - August 13th, 2007

Holy cow, it's a hit!

Merv Griffin · 82

July 6th, 1925 - August 12th, 2007

What a twerp this guy was. Richer than shit, but, man, what a twerp.

Lee Hazlewood · 78

July 9th, 1929 - August 4th, 2007

These days, boots are walking all over him.

Tommy Makem · 74

November 4th, 1932 - August 1st, 2007

Not anymore, he don't.

Ingmar Bergman · 89

July 14th, 1918 - July 30th, 2007

And the Reaper wins another chess match.

Michelangelo Antonioni · 94

September 29th, 1912 - July 30th, 2007

Hmmm. Must've been International Film Dude Day.

Bill Walsh · 75

November 30th, 1931 - July 30th, 2007

He was the football coach who popularized the "West Coast Offense". Maybe a little D would have been better.

Tom Snyder · 71

May 12th, 1936 - July 29th, 2007

Fire up the simultinis and watch the pictures as they fly through the air, whatever the fuck that means.

Tammy Messner · 65

March 7th, 1942 - July 20th, 2007

Two different eye makeup companies just went out of business.

Lady Bird Johnson · 94

December 22nd, 1912 - July 11th, 2007

Doing her part to beautify America.

Beverly Sills · 78

May 25th, 1929 - July 2nd, 2007

Beverly's still.

Joel Siegel · 63

July 7th, 1943 - June 29th, 2007

He was a movie critic. Who gives a shit?

Kurt Waldheim · 88

December 21st, 1918 - June 14th, 2007

While it's true that he had many harsh critics, we understand that Kurt was a wonderful dancer.

Don Herbert · 90

June 1st, 1917 - June 12th, 2007

Suck on that, Mr. Wizard.

Charles Nelson Reilly · 76

January 13th, 1931 - May 25th, 2007

Charles, however, is a different story altogether.

Jerry Falwell · 73

August 11th, 1933 - May 15th, 2007

Can't say we're gonna miss this guy too much.

Wally Schirra · 84

March 12th, 1923 - May 3rd, 2007

Que Schirra, Schirra.

Tom Poston · 85

October 17th, 1921 - April 30th, 2007

Ever seen Tom Poston? Do they really expect us to believe that he would be married to someone as hot as Suzanne Pleshette? Yeah, right.

Jack Valenti · 85

September 5th, 1921 - April 26th, 2007

This guy, however, was a total stuffed shirt.

Boris Yeltsin · 76

February 1st, 1931 - April 23rd, 2007

Say what you want about the Russkies — this guy knew how to party.

Kitty Carlisle · 96

September 3rd, 1910 - April 17th, 2007

You'd think with a name like Kitty, she'd be pretty attractive. You'd think.

Don Ho · 76

August 13th, 1930 - April 14th, 2007

Not of the nappy-headed variety, but a Ho just the same.

Kurt Vonnegut · 84

November 11th, 1922 - April 11th, 2007

Breakfast Of Champions? No, dinner of worms.

Roscoe Browne · 81

May 2nd, 1925 - April 11th, 2007

Wasn't that a Jim Croce song?

Eddie Robinson · 88

February 13th, 1919 - April 3rd, 2007

He had 408 career wins, all of them offset by one significant loss.

Luther Ingram · 69

November 30th, 1937 - March 19th, 2007

If dying was wrong, he didn't want to be right.

Larry 'Bud' Melman · 85

July 23rd, 1921 - March 19th, 2007

His real name was Calvert DeForest, but by this time next year, will anyone even remember that?

Bowie Kuhn · 80

October 28th, 1926 - March 15th, 2007

Curt Flood is probably kicking his ass right now.

Betty Hutton · 86

February 26th, 1921 - March 11th, 2007

Nice rack.

Brad Delp · 55

June 12th, 1951 - March 9th, 2007

Less than a feeling.

Ernest Gallo · 97

March 18th, 1909 - March 6th, 2007

Say goodbye to that little wino.

Thomas Eagleton · 77

September 4th, 1929 - March 4th, 2007

There's a shocker.

Arthur Schlesinger · 89

October 15th, 1917 - February 28th, 2007

Bo-o-O-O-O-o-R-i-i-i-ing!

Lamar Lundy · 71

April 17th, 1935 - February 24th, 2007

Not quite as fearsome as he once was.

Maurice Papon · 96

September 3rd, 1910 - February 17th, 2007

A French Nazi, the very worst kind.

Charles Walgreen · 100

March 4th, 1906 - February 10th, 2007

He was 100 years old. You know that thing on the front page where we talk about the rich and feeble? This is who we mean.

Anna Nicole Smith · 39

November 28th, 1967 - February 8th, 2007

But, she seemed so together ....

Lew Burdette · 80

November 22nd, 1926 - February 6th, 2007

He pitched 158 complete games, and had 203 wins in his 18-year career. He was voted Most Valuable Player of the 1957 World Series with three complete game victories, two of them shutouts. He had outstanding control, averaging just 1.84 walks per nine innings pitched, and he pitched over 3,000 of them. Anyway, he's dead.

Frankie Laine · 93

March 30th, 1913 - February 6th, 2007

Cross him off, add 'em up,
Add 'em up, cross him off,
Count him out, he's a stiff,
Goodbye!

Molly Ivins · 62

August 30th, 1944 - January 31st, 2007

She was raised and educated in Texas, but refused to let that hold her back.

Sidney Sheldon · 89

February 11th, 1917 - January 30th, 2007

Naturally, we find ourselves inclined to take it easy on the guy who almost single-handedly gave the world I Dream Of Jeannie.

Tige Andrews · 86

March 19th, 1920 - January 27th, 2007

Now Captain of the Sod Squad.

Howard Hunt · 88

October 9th, 1918 - January 23rd, 2007

Not to be confused with E. Howard Hunt, which is a small suburb immediately adjacent to Howard Hunt.

Art Buchwald · 81

October 20th, 1925 - January 17th, 2007

Art no longer imitates life.

Benny Parsons · 65

July 12th, 1941 - January 16th, 2007

Threw a rod.

Barzan Hassan al-Tikriti · 55

February 17th, 1951 - January 15th, 2007

Which is Arabic for "Heavier than you think, and not a very strong neck, either."

Michael Brecker · 57

March 29th, 1949 - January 13th, 2007

He was a true pioneer of "light jazz," and without him, there could be no David Sanborn or Kenny G. Thanks a billion, Mike.

Alice Coltrane · 69

August 27th, 1937 - January 12th, 2007

Through the looking glass.

Carlo Ponti · 94

December 11th, 1912 - January 9th, 2007

Does this mean Sophia's available ...?

Yvonne De Carlo · 84

September 1st, 1922 - January 8th, 2007

She was 130-something when The Munsters was on, and that was in the '60s!

Sneaky Pete Kleinow · 72

August 20th, 1934 - January 6th, 2007

Well, he wasn't on anybody's list, so, that's kinda sneaky.

Teddy Kollek · 95

May 27th, 1911 - January 2nd, 2007

Really? That's what we start the year with, Teddy Kollek?

Year	Stiffs
2024	41
2023	54
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!