The Stiffs
For the 32nd year running, our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on anybody’s list, or mattered at all, they’re here. Looking for everybody? Try the Directory.
Nicolas Roeg
He was a scandal-free British film director and it took us years to notice he had shuffled off this mortal coil.
Roy Clark
The options are apparently "Take me as I am", or "Let me go". Looks like option B.
Katherine MacGregor
She skipped the series finale of Little House on the Prairie to go on a pilgrimage to India. That's probably why you don't remember her.
Willie McCovey
Some people called him "The scariest hitter of all time". We're sticking with "Big Willie".
Whitey Bulger
He died doing what he loved: Participating in a murder.
Charles Aznavour
They called him "The Frank Sinatra of France" - which we assume means he drank a lot and cheated on his wife.
John McCain
He ran for President twice. Apparently he was way, WAY too smart for that job.
Kofi Annan
Even winning the Nobel wasn't enough to rank him higher than Boutros Boutros-Ghali in the list of all-time great United Nations Secretary-General names.
Charlotte Rae
Email 957 from today:
"Oh! I know! The Facts Of Death! That's the obit!"
Genius. Yeah. Thanks.
Tab Hunter
If you're a closeted gay Hollywood heartthrob, you just can't stick with Arthur Kelm.
Harlan Ellison
He was an award-winning science fiction writer who frequently sued studios for stealing his work. James Cameron hated him, so he couldn't have been that bad.
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Joe Jackson (Michaels Dad)
Whereas Michael just looked KINDA weird, Joe was actually SCARY weird looking. That's saying something.
Red Schoendienst
"Mr. Cardinal" ended up working for the Cards for 74 years - right up until the day he died. That's quite a retirement plan there, Red.
Joseph Campanella
He had 7 kids - all boys - and lived to be 93. If you figure out how he pulled that off, let us know.
Tom Wolfe
He wrote The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, The Bonfire of the Vanities, and The Right Stuff, which are really all just stories about a bunch of crazy people.
George Deukmejian
The Duke. Another politician with no scandals section, so we can't write anything funny or insulting about him. Good news: in a few years, THAT will not be a problem.
Verne Troyer
Needed help with depression and alcohol abuse. Came up a little short.
Barbara Bush
She gave birth to George W. AND Jeb. Thanks a pantload, Barb.
Miloš Forman
Dobře placená procházka was WAY better than One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Disagree with us. WE WILL FIGHT YOU.
Mitzi Shore
You’d think someone who ran a comedy store could come up with a better name for her daughter than Sandy.
Susan Anspach
Everyone remembers Five Easy Pieces, but what about The Last Giraffe? What was wrong with that?
Winnie Mandela
Nelson Mandela managed to make it through 27 years in prison, but could only handle 2 years married to Winnie once he was out. Not sure what all that means, but it can't be good.
Stephen Hawking
Say what you want about that crazy wheelchair and weird robot voice - this guy got ALL the chicks.
Roger Bannister
It took considerably longer than four minutes to think of this obituary.
Nanette Fabray
There are few things less inspiring than scandal-free elderly celebrities.
Billy Graham
He's number 7 on Gallup's List of the Most Admired People of the 20th Century - one spot ahead of the Pope. That's gotta piss SOMEBODY off.
Marty Allen
Most people know him as "The Darling of Daytime TV", but fewer people know him by his other nickname - "The Freak with the Weird Hairdo".
Wally Moon
He batted left-handed and threw right-handed - which explains why he didn't have a free hand to take care of that uni-brow.
Ursula LeGuin
She was made famous in 2000, back when we thought that just letting anyone submit anything that anyone anywhere had ever heard of, ever. Yeah. We stopped doing that.
Connie Sawyer
They called her "The Clown Princess of Comedy". Yeah. She was hysterical.
Stansfield Turner
he ran the Naval War College. We had no idea there was a college for a war on navals. Good to know.
Doug Harvey
He was a silver-haired MLB umpire -- nicknamed "God" -- from the days when the Fame Committee was comprised nearly entirely of total dorks.
Keith Jackson
Something about Nellie goes here. Hey Nellie? Go Nellie? Run, nellie, run? Something like that.
Jerry Van Dyke
Tough life when you always have to play second fiddle to a Dick.