Died December 31, 2021 · Age 99
Betty White
We speak for all of America when we say: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
62 stiffs · 2021
The Stiffs
For the 32nd year running, our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on anybody’s list, or mattered at all, they’re here. Looking for everybody? Try the Directory.
Died December 28, 2021 · Age 85
John Madden
He had an amazing coaching career, announced on every major network, was the voice of the Madden video games, and all he can hear in our heads is "Tough Actin' Tinactin".
Died December 28, 2021 · Age 82
Harry Reid
Vegas named an airport after him and he died like a week later. And we thought a Lifetime Achievement Award was the kiss of death...
Died December 5, 2021 · Age 98
Bob Dole
Being dead is something Bob Dole would do. It's not something Bob Dole has done before, and not likely to be something Bob Dole ever does again.
Died November 26, 2021 · Age 91
Stephen Sondheim
The dude won eight Tony Awards, an Academy Award, eight Grammy Awards, a Pulitzer Prize, a Laurence Olivier Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. But the one thing he wanted most - a national bull riding title - eluded him.
Died November 11, 2021 · Age 85
Frederik de Klerk
He served as state president of South Africa from 1989 to 1994 and as deputy president from 1994 to 1996. No scandals. None. Jesus. Were we out of our minds when we made this guy famous?
Died November 7, 2021 · Age 85
Dean Stockwell
How do you think it felt to start acting in movies and TV in 1945, all the way through 2015, and be BEST known for Quantum Leap? Not great, is our guess.
Died October 26, 2021 · Age 94
Mort Sahl
He didn't curse, drink, smoke or use drugs. And he died anyway. Go figure.
Died October 18, 2021 · Age 84
Colin Powell
The guy was a soldier for 35 years, including being the Secretary of State and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and somehow didn't know not to use an AOL email address to send dirty messages to some chick who wasn't your wife of SIXTY YEARS? COME ON!
Died September 14, 2021 · Age 61
Norm MacDonald
The Commissioner of this fine game played a round of golf with him, and can verify two things:
1. He was very funny guy.
2. He sucked at golf.
Died September 6, 2021 · Age 88
Jean-Paul Belmondo
France’s favorite broken nose became a star smoking and pouting through Godard’s Breathless, then figured out he could make a lot more money hanging off helicopters in action movies without a stunt double. Eighty-odd films, one “national treasure” from Macron and no apparent interest in a helmet. He died in Paris at 88, presumably mid-cigarette.
Died August 24, 2021 · Age 80
Charlie Watts
After the Stones, his next band was "The A,B,C and D of Boogie Woogie". Really sorry we're going to miss that.
Died August 7, 2021 · Age 70
Markie Post
For seven seasons of Night Court she played Christine Sullivan, the public defender every defendant in Harry Anderson’s courtroom wanted to plead guilty to. Before that she chased bail jumpers on The Fall Guy, making her one of the few women in TV history to work both sides of the justice system in shoulder pads. Cancer finally won the case at 70. Bull is said to be inconsolable.
Died July 24, 2021 · Age 93
Jackie Mason
Won a bunch of awards, but none as impressive as his Emmy for voicing Hyman Krustofski in a 1991 episode of The Simpsons.
Died July 18, 2021 · Age 86
Ron Popeil
Things he invented:
Chop-O-Matic (for chopping food, which was apparently WAY too hard)
Veg-O-Matic (same thing, but for slicing veggies)
Pocket Fisherman (so you can carry a fishing pole everywhere you go)
Mr. Microphone (apparently for assaulting hot women on the street)
Inside the shell egg scrambler (yes, seriously)
Showtime Rotisserie (like a regular rotisserie, but smaller)
GLH-9 - Hair in a Spray Can (Yes. Hair. In a can.)
Drain Buster (No idea.)
Smokeless Ashtray (Ashtray with a fan. Where did the smoke go?)
Electric Food Dehydrator (For sucking both moisture and flavor out of foods)
Automatic Pasta Maker (NOT automatic, we promise)
Rhinestone Stud Setter (Bedazzling before the bedazzler)
The Cap Snaffler (a bottle opener)
This is where the definition of "celebrity" gets very hazy.
Died June 29, 2021 · Age 88
Donald Rumsfeld
He had a ton of military awards, AND had to resign in disgrace. A well rounded career, we say.
Died June 3, 2021 · Age 87
F. Lee Bailey
He defended a ton of murderers, got busted for drunk driving, was disbarred in multiple states, but hey - at least he was only married four times.
Died May 25, 2021 · Age 94
John Warner
He was the 6th of Liz Taylor's 7 husbands. So, you know. Good job there.
Died May 1, 2021 · Age 89
Olympia Dukakis
She was in a ton of movies, which came as a huge shock to us, because we thought she was just married to that failed politician. Huh. Oh well.
Died April 19, 2021 · Age 93
Walter Mondale
Imagine being MOST known for getting your ass kicked almost as bad as is POSSIBLE in a Presidential election. He had 13 electoral votes, for chrissakes. That's only 13 more than WE had.
Died April 14, 2021 · Age 82
Bernie Madoff
The thing about pyramids is that there’s *always* a little prick at the top.
Died April 9, 2021 · Age 93
Ramsey Clark
Lyndon Johnson’s attorney general enforced the civil rights laws, then spent the next fifty years as defense lawyer to the world’s least lovable clients: Saddam Hussein, Slobodan Milosevic and a rotating cast of people the rest of the planet was trying to hang. He died in Manhattan at 93, finally out of appeals.
Died April 9, 2021 · Age 50
DMX
Earl Simmons barked his way to five straight number-one albums, made “Party Up” the official anthem of being thrown out of a bar, and filled the rest of his calendar getting arrested for things like impersonating a federal agent at JFK. His heart quit at 50, after a week on life support, finally doing what the police never could and keeping him in one place. X gon’ give it to ya, one last time.
Died April 9, 2021 · Age 99
Prince Philip
Well, well, well. Looks like QE2 is on the market again, fellas.
Died March 30, 2021 · Age 90
G. Gordon Liddy
Weird how Watergate doesn't even seem that bad anymore.
Died March 25, 2021 · Age 104
Beverly Cleary
She was a beloved author who inspired tens of millions of children to read. Her biggest scandal was - gasp! - marrying a Roman Catholic in 1940. YOU try to think of a witty obituary, smartass.
Died March 23, 2021 · Age 87
George Segal
Yet another highly-acclaimed Jewish banjo-playing actor passes away.
Died March 22, 2021 · Age 86
Elgin Baylor
Dude scored 61 points in an NBA Finals game in 1962 - and that is STILL a record. What the FUCK?
Died March 15, 2021 · Age 81
Yaphet Kotto
As Dr. Kananga, he had one of the best Bond villain deaths ever. In real life, probably less dramatic.
Died February 23, 2021 · Age 101
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
There once was a guy named Larry
Whose poetry game was hairy
Lived many years
Faced all his fears
And was only just recently buried
Died February 17, 2021 · Age 70
Rush Limbaugh
Michael J. Fox is probably laughing his ASS off right now.
Died February 10, 2021 · Age 78
Larry Flynt
He called himself a "smut peddler". He has a solid gold wheelchair, won a case in front of the US Supreme Court, found and then lost Jesus, and was depicted by Woody Harrelson in a movie about his life. Hero? You be the judge.
Died February 8, 2021 · Age 77
Marty Schottenheimer
200 wins, no championships, not in the hall of fame. But you know, famous.
Died February 8, 2021 · Age 76
Mary Wilson
The Supreme who wasn’t Diana Ross outlasted every other original member of the group, which is what happens when you’re the only one nobody pushes out. She sang on twelve number-one hits, wrote a tell-all called Dreamgirl and spent fifty years politely reminding everyone that she had been there too. She died in Las Vegas at 76. Diana Ross sent a tweet.
Died February 6, 2021 · Age 100
George Shultz
His wife was married 3 times and all of her husbands died of cancer. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.
Died February 5, 2021 · Age 67
Leon Spinks
The only boxer to beat Ali in the ring for a championship, and undefeated lifetime worldwide against dentists.
Died February 1, 2021 · Age 44
Dustin Diamond
That should put an end to all that goddamned screeching.
Died January 27, 2021 · Age 94
Cloris Leachman
She posed nude on the cover of Alternative Medicine Digest in 1997. THAT'S why she was famous.
Died January 23, 2021 · Age 87
Larry King
He was married 7 times to 6 different women. No wonder he died.
Died January 23, 2021 · Age 95
Hal Holbrook
He was a great actor and in a lot of really shitty movies. Weird.
Died January 16, 2021 · Age 81
Phil Spector
Truly an incredible resume of musical accomplishments. It's just that pesky murder that always seems to steal the spotlight.
Died January 13, 2021 · Age 81
Siegfried Fischbacher
Siegfried and Roy! Together again for an exclusive engagement!
Died January 11, 2021 · Age 87
Sheldon Adelson
For a man that built casinos, worked with mobsters, fought against weed legalization and Internet gambling, and was the single biggest supporter of a twice-impeached President, you'd think he was a complete shitbag. Turns out, you'd be right.
Died January 7, 2021 · Age 93
Tommy Lasorda
Well, fuck. We always want someone solid to make fun of as the FIRST death of the year, and Tommy was NOT it. A baseball icon, an all-around good guy, and worst of all - NO scandals.
Sometimes running a deadpool sucks.