The Stiffs for 2009

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Brittany Murphy · 32

November 10th, 1977 - December 20th, 2009

Girl, Interrupted.

Jennifer Jones · 90

March 2nd, 1919 - December 17th, 2009

Death is a Many-Splendored Thing ...

Chris Henry · 26

May 17th, 1983 - December 17th, 2009

His contract specifically said: No Pickup Games.

Dan O'Bannon · 63

September 30th, 1946 - December 17th, 2009

In a casket, nobody can hear you scream.

Roy Disney · 79

January 10th, 1930 - December 16th, 2009

Walt's Goofy nephew.

Oral Roberts · 91

January 24th, 1918 - December 15th, 2009

Looks like Jesus is getting himself some Oral.

Gene Barry · 90

June 14th, 1919 - December 9th, 2009

A longtime cabaret and touring stage performer, Mr. Barry played President Richard M. Nixon in a 1982 Atlanta production of "Watergate: A Musical." Can't believe that wasn't a bigger hit.

Tommy Henrich · 96

February 20th, 1913 - December 1st, 2009

Really old. Not reliable.

John Mohammed · 48

December 31st, 1960 - November 10th, 2009

Snipe this, scumbag.

Carl Ballantine · 92

September 27th, 1917 - November 3rd, 2009

Poof! He's gone!

Claude Levi-Strauss · 100

November 28th, 1908 - November 1st, 2009

Actually, he was an anthropologist. But he probably WORE jeans, if that makes you feel less stupid.

Soupy Sales · 83

January 8th, 1926 - October 22nd, 2009

He was sort of a poor man's Jerry Lewis, if you can fathom such a thing.

Lou Albano · 76

July 29th, 1933 - October 14th, 2009

Down for the count.

Al Martino · 82

October 7th, 1927 - October 13th, 2009

Now he doesn't even have ONE heart.

Susan Atkins · 61

May 7th, 1948 - September 25th, 2009

Parole granted.

Mary Travers · 72

November 9th, 1936 - September 16th, 2009

If she had a hammer, she'd still be dead.

Henry Gibson · 73

September 21st, 1935 - September 16th, 2009

"The Afterlife" ... by Henry Gibson.

Patrick Swayze · 57

August 18th, 1952 - September 14th, 2009

Dirt Dancin' is too simple, and "Somebody sent Swayze to the coroner," is too obscure. Ghost? Fuck! This is when running a dead pool is just plain HARD.

Norman Borlaug · 95

March 25th, 1914 - September 12th, 2009

They called him "The Father of modern agriculture". That must have got him a TON of chicks.

Larry Gelbart · 81

February 25th, 1928 - September 12th, 2009

Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen.

Jim Carroll · 59

August 1st, 1950 - September 11th, 2009

4 ups and 1 BIG down.

Army Archerd · 87

January 13th, 1922 - September 8th, 2009

An Army of One. No, make that Zero.

Dominick Dunne · 83

October 29th, 1925 - August 26th, 2009

All dunne.

Ted Kennedy · 77

February 22nd, 1932 - August 25th, 2009

Another Kennedy? Shouldn't we be out of them by now?

Bob Novak · 78

February 26th, 1931 - August 18th, 2009

Now he gets to meet the real Prince of Darkness.

Les Paul · 94

June 9th, 1915 - August 13th, 2009

No Les, no more.

Eunice Shriver · 88

July 10th, 1921 - August 11th, 2009

That only leaves 2 more from the Kennedy clan - unless you count the NINETEEN kids they had. Hard to believe they just aren't dying fast enough.

John Hughes · 59

February 18th, 1950 - August 6th, 2009

Alone, but not at home.

Budd Schulberg · 95

March 27th, 1914 - August 5th, 2009

He coulda been a contender. Without, you know, that whole dying thing.

Corazon Aquino · 76

January 25th, 1933 - July 31st, 2009

Aqui? No.

Frank McCourt · 78

August 19th, 1930 - July 19th, 2009

Mix his ashes up with Angela's.

Walter Cronkite · 92

November 4th, 1916 - July 17th, 2009

And that's the way it is, July 17th, 2009.

Robert McNamara · 93

June 9th, 1916 - July 6th, 2009

Known as the chief architect of the Vietnam war. Thanks, Bob.

Allen Klein · 77

December 18th, 1931 - July 4th, 2009

Sort of a behind-the-scenes Yoko, if you will.

Karl Malden · 97

March 22nd, 1912 - July 1st, 2009

Left home.

Billy Mays · 50

July 20th, 1958 - June 28th, 2009

The next 100 callers will most likely be on hold for a very long time.

Michael Jackson · 50

August 29th, 1958 - June 25th, 2009

He touched so many...

Sky Saxon · 71

August 20th, 1937 - June 25th, 2009

Clearly, he was pushing too hard.

Farrah Fawcett · 62

February 2nd, 1947 - June 25th, 2009

Not just Charlie's angel anymore.

Ed McMahon · 86

March 6th, 1923 - June 23rd, 2009

Heeeeeeeeeeere's Eternity!

Kenny Rankin · 69

February 10th, 1940 - June 7th, 2009

Peaceful indeed.

Koko Taylor · 80

September 28th, 1928 - June 3rd, 2009

This is what happens when you keep wang dang doodling all night long.

David Carradine · 72

December 8th, 1936 - June 3rd, 2009

Dead Fu.

Chuck Daly · 78

July 20th, 1930 - May 9th, 2009

Might as well now.

Dom DiMaggio · 92

February 12th, 1917 - May 8th, 2009

Looks like that 33,597 day breathing streak is over.

Dom DeLuise · 75

August 1st, 1933 - May 5th, 2009

Dom Dead. Decomposing delightfully. Deadpoolers delirious.

Danny Gans · 52

October 25th, 1956 - May 1st, 2009

The Las Vegas billboard industry just took a BIG hit.

Bea Arthur · 86

May 13th, 1922 - April 25th, 2009

And then there's mold.

Doc Blanchard · 84

December 11th, 1924 - April 19th, 2009

The doctor is out.

Marilyn Chambers · 56

April 22nd, 1952 - April 12th, 2009

Under the Green Floor ...

Lou Saban · 87

October 13th, 1921 - March 29th, 2009

Football coach - from when the footballs and helmets were made out of the same stuff.

Natasha Richardson · 45

May 11th, 1963 - March 19th, 2009

Went downhill fast.

Horton Foote · 92

March 14th, 1916 - March 4th, 2009

One Foote in the grave.

Paul Harvey · 90

September 4th, 1918 - February 28th, 2009

Good day - you irritating, monotone, over opinionated, one-trick-pony weasel.

Philip Farmer · 91

January 26th, 1918 - February 25th, 2009

He wrote "A Woman a Day" and "Blown". We might be on to what killed him.

James Whitmore · 87

October 1st, 1921 - February 6th, 2009

Brooks was here.

Lux Interior · 62

October 21st, 1946 - February 4th, 2009

Design flaw.

Ingemar Johansson · 76

September 22nd, 1932 - January 30th, 2009

Down for the count.

John Updike · 76

March 18th, 1932 - January 27th, 2009

Rabbit make space.

Andrew Wyeth · 91

July 12th, 1917 - January 16th, 2009

Easel come, easel go.

Ricardo Montalban · 88

November 25th, 1920 - January 14th, 2009

Boss...? Boss...?

Patrick McGoohan · 80

March 19th, 1928 - January 13th, 2009

Number Deep 6.

Griffin Bell · 90

October 31st, 1918 - January 5th, 2009

Rung.

Pat Hingle · 84

July 19th, 1924 - January 3rd, 2009

Hingle buried.

Claiborne Pell · 90

November 22nd, 1918 - January 1st, 2009

And our first stiff of the year is the exciting senator from Rhode Island, creator of the Pell Grant, and apparently the only politician on all of Wikipedia without a "scandals" section. Going to be a big year.

Year	Stiffs
2024	39
2023	54
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!