The Stiffs for 2002

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

101

George Hill · 81

December 20th, 1921 - December 27th, 2002

The stink.

100

Joe Strummer · 50

August 21st, 1952 - December 22nd, 2002

Apparently, the question has finally been answered, and it's been decided that, rather than staying, he should go now.

Zal Yanovsky · 57

December 19th, 1944 - December 13th, 2002

The back of his neck is getting dirty and gritty.

Roone Arledge · 71

July 8th, 1931 - December 5th, 2002

The human drama of athletic competition gives way to the crude aroma of a man

Glenn Quinn · 32

May 28th, 1970 - December 3rd, 2002

Adored by millions for his mesmerizing performance as the conniving Jeff in 1998's blockbuster "Some Girl."

Dave McNally

December 1st, 2002

He's off the map.

James Coburn · 74

August 31st, 1928 - November 18th, 2002

Out like Flint.

Abba Eban

November 17th, 2002

Funny, he didn't look Swedish ....

Eddie Bracken · 87

February 7th, 1915 - November 14th, 2002

Hail this, you little freak.

Johnny Griffith · 66

July 10th, 1936 - November 10th, 2002

Here's another musician (keyboards) who claims to have played on every single Motown record from the '60s and '70s, and that for all of those sessions, he was paid a total of $80. Aren't there, like, a bunch of these guys now?

Peg Phillips · 84

September 20th, 1918 - November 7th, 2002

Over-exposure.

Billy Mitchell · 71

November 1st, 1931 - November 5th, 2002

The former lead singer for the Clovers has expired, and despite his claims to the contrary, we suspect that considerably more than one mint julep was the cause of it all.

Jonathan Harris · 87

November 6th, 1914 - November 3rd, 2002

Remember that idiot Dr. Smith from Lost In Space?
No?

Lonnie Donegan · 71

April 29th, 1931 - November 3rd, 2002

Rapidly losing his flavor.

Raf Vallone · 86

February 17th, 1916 - October 31st, 2002

First film: We the living. Last film: Vino Santo (Holy Wine). There's a joke there somewhere. Figure it out.

Jason Mizell

October 30th, 2002

It's like that.

Richard Harris · 72

October 1st, 1930 - October 25th, 2002

A man called toast.

Paul Wellstone · 58

July 21st, 1944 - October 25th, 2002

Sorry for the delay. Couldn't find anything funny here. Except maybe Walter Mondale.

Kam Fong · 84

May 27th, 1918 - October 18th, 2002

Mahalo, Chin. Mahalo.

Bashful Brother Oswald · 90

December 26th, 1911 - October 17th, 2002

The other brother, Lee Harvey, was not so bashful.

Stephen Ambrose

October 13th, 2002

History.

Ray Conniff

October 12th, 2002

'Smeaningless.

Teresa Graves · 54

January 10th, 1948 - October 10th, 2002

They got Christie Love.

Bruce Paltrow · 58

November 26th, 1943 - October 3rd, 2002

Y'know, he fired the Commissioner once. Arrivederci, dickhead.

Walter Annenberg · 94

March 13th, 1908 - October 1st, 2002

His final donation to the public good.

Whitney Blake

September 28th, 2002

Hello?

Yeah, what?

Yeah, she was the mom on Hazel, uh-huh, so what?

What do you mean, "that's golden" ...?

That's not golden, that's dog shit.

No, we don't remember her, and we don't care, and neither does anybody else, so just forget about it.

Yeah, same to you.

Hazel . . . . What the fuck are we supposed to do with that??

Angelo Buono · 67

October 5th, 1934 - September 21st, 2002

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Bob Hayes · 59

December 20th, 1942 - September 18th, 2002

The bullet bites it.

James Gregory

September 16th, 2002

I tell you, Barn, it's gonna be good to see ol' Brownie and Kleiner and Foster again - hey, do me a favor, wouldja? Tell Wojo and Fish and the rest of the boys back at the ol' One-Two that a certain Inspector Franklin D. Luger'll be puttin' in a good word for 'em with the big guy upstairs . . . y'know, just in case. Ten-Four, Barn. Over and out.

LaWanda Page · 81

October 19th, 1920 - September 14th, 2002

What an ugly way to go.

Kim Hunter · 79

November 12th, 1922 - September 11th, 2002

STELLA!

Johnny Unitas · 69

May 7th, 1933 - September 11th, 2002

Got heartattackitis.

Lionel Hampton · 94

April 20th, 1908 - August 31st, 2002

Flying home.

Hoyt Wilhelm · 79

July 26th, 1923 - August 23rd, 2002

Apparently, the cosmic closer also throws a knuckleball.

John Roseboro · 69

May 13th, 1933 - August 16th, 2002

The big strikeout.

Abu Nidal · 65

May 1st, 1937 - August 16th, 2002

They say he was a terrorist mastermind and leader of the Fatah Revolutionary Council, but we'll always remember him as the lovable convenience store clerk from The Simpsons.

Kyle Rote · 73

October 27th, 1928 - August 15th, 2002

That's all Kyle wrote.

Enos Slaughter · 86

April 27th, 1916 - August 12th, 2002

Time relentlessly changes all, including our heroes and the way we perceive them, and so, perhaps it's no surprise that these days, you almost never hear fans chant the familiar, sing-song cry "There's no penis hotter than ol' Enos Slaughter."

Michael Houser · 40

January 6th, 1962 - August 10th, 2002

Widespread cancer.

Darrell Porter

August 5th, 2002

Baseball's cosmic closer has once again struck out the wrong Darrell.

Chick Hearn

August 5th, 2002

The door's closed, the lights are out, his eggs are cooling, his extremities are gettin' hard

Chaim Potok

July 23rd, 2002

Chosen, schmosen, now you're dead!

Leo McKern

July 23rd, 2002

The fifth Be-attle.

Alan Lomax

July 19th, 2002

He was a trailblazer and a true pioneer in the early development of the art of exploiting musicians.

Yousuf Karsh

July 13th, 2002

Still life.

Rod Steiger

July 9th, 2002

Looks like Charley's got a one-way ticket to Palookaville.

John Frankenheimer · 72

February 19th, 1930 - July 6th, 2002

His full name was John Jacob Frankenheimer-Schmidt (da-da da da da-da da).

Ted Williams

July 5th, 2002

Man, he sure had a sweet stroke. In fact, he had a couple of strokes, if we're not mistaken.

Winnifred Quick

July 4th, 2002

Down with the ship. Almost.

Ray Brown

July 2nd, 2002

Meanwhile, over in Legendary Bass Player Land, the thinning of the herd continues.

Pete Gray · 87

March 6th, 1915 - June 30th, 2002

He already had one arm in the grave.

Rosemary Clooney · 74

May 23rd, 1928 - June 29th, 2002

Listen ... you can almost hear her sing ... 'Come on-a my hearse, a-my-y hearse, I'm gonna give-a you cancer ....'

John Entwistle · 57

October 9th, 1944 - June 27th, 2002

He won't get fooled again.

Darryl Kile

June 22nd, 2002

They say he had one of the best curveballs in the game, but it looks like the cosmic closer just threw him a doozy.

Ann Landers · 83

July 4th, 1918 - June 22nd, 2002

Dear Readers, I've had it. After 50 years of saying "Take your head out of your ass" in a million different ways, I'm throwing in the towel. Figure out your own stupid little problems from now on. -Lifeless on Lake Shore

Jack Buck · 77

August 21st, 1924 - June 18th, 2002

Stopped here.

Bill Blass · 79

June 22nd, 1922 - June 12th, 2002

Sophisticated, debonair, discerning, suave, distinctive, stylish and dead.

John Gotti

June 10th, 2002

Towards the end, they called him the Diaper Don.

Dee Dee Ramone

June 5th, 2002

Dee Dee ODed.

Lew Wasserman · 89

March 22nd, 1913 - June 3rd, 2002

The former CEO of MCA was DOA.

Sam Snead · 89

May 27th, 1912 - May 23rd, 2002

Too many strokes.

Stephen Jay Gould · 60

September 10th, 1941 - May 20th, 2002

Fuckin' smartypants.

Jerry Dunphy · 80

June 9th, 1921 - May 20th, 2002

From the desert to the sea, to all of Southern California, a good riddance.

Dave Berg · 81

June 12th, 1920 - May 17th, 2002

Have a look at the darker side, Dave.

Joe Bonnano

May 11th, 2002

Yes, we have no Joey Bananas today.

Otis Blackwell · 70

February 16th, 1932 - May 6th, 2002

After complaining of a variety of symptoms, including that his hands were shaky, his knees were weak, he was itching like a man on a fuzzy tree, he had fever in the morning, fever all through the night, and, finally, that he was breathless, he was returned to sender, address unknown. No such person. No such zone.

Lisa Lopes · 30

May 27th, 1971 - April 25th, 2002

Scrub.

Linda Lovelace · 53

January 10th, 1949 - April 22nd, 2002

This was a real blow.

Thor Heyerdahl · 87

October 6th, 1914 - April 18th, 2002

After a lifetime of bold research and daring exploration, including crossing both the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans on rafts made out of twigs and fucking reeds, he died of boredom.

Robert Urich · 55

December 19th, 1946 - April 16th, 2002

Adio$, Dan.

Byron White · 84

June 8th, 1917 - April 15th, 2002

The former Supreme Court justice was nicknamed "Whizzer" due to his amusing penchant for urinating out of moving cars.

Layne Staley · 34

August 22nd, 1967 - April 5th, 2002

Man in a box.

Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon · 94

August 4th, 1907 - March 30th, 2002

When she finally died, she was 101 ... proof!

Dudley Moore · 66

April 19th, 1935 - March 27th, 2002

Caught between the moon and New York City, whatever the fuck that means.

Milton Berle · 93

July 12th, 1908 - March 27th, 2002

Rumor has it his coffin features a sidecar.

Billy Wilder · 95

June 22nd, 1906 - March 27th, 2002

Maybe it's just us, but there's something really creepy about a guy this old who still calls himself Billy.

Herman Talmadge · 88

August 9th, 1913 - March 21st, 2002

Politician.

Rosetta Le Noire

March 17th, 2002

The dreaded Curse of Urkel strikes again.

Speedy Keen · 56

March 29th, 1945 - March 12th, 2002

There's something in the air, alright, and it's coming from the corpse of the drummer for Thunderclap Newman.

Irene Worth · 85

June 23rd, 1916 - March 10th, 2002

A lot less than she used to be.

Spike Milligan · 83

April 16th, 1918 - February 27th, 2002

On his way to Lewisham.

Arthur Lyman · 70

February 2nd, 1932 - February 24th, 2002

His yellow bird has flown.

Chuck Jones · 89

September 21st, 1912 - February 22nd, 2002

That's All Folks!

John Thaw · 60

January 3rd, 1942 - February 21st, 2002

He's on ice.

Willie Thrower · 71

March 22nd, 1930 - February 21st, 2002

He was the NFL's first African-American quarterback, which makes him almost as culturally significant as his well-known cousin, Spear Chucker.

Howard Smith · 87

May 12th, 1914 - February 15th, 2002

Look for Events Immediately Following My Life: The Death Of A Twentieth-Century Reporter, out now in paperback.

Waylon Jennings · 64

June 15th, 1937 - February 13th, 2002

Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be coke addicts.

Dave Van Ronk · 65

June 30th, 1936 - February 10th, 2002

He was a friend of ours.

Princess Margaret · 71

August 21st, 1930 - February 9th, 2002

Maggie rhymes with "baggie."

Dick 'Night Train' Lane · 74

April 16th, 1927 - January 29th, 2002

End of the line.

Astrid Lindgren · 94

November 14th, 1907 - January 28th, 2002

Pippi stops talking.

Stanley Marcus · 81

April 20th, 1920 - January 22nd, 2002

And take that bastard Nieman with you!

Peggy Lee · 81

May 26th, 1920 - January 21st, 2002

That answer your question, lady?

Carrie Hamilton · 38

December 5th, 1963 - January 20th, 2002

Seems she just got started, and before you know it ....

Ted Demme · 38

October 26th, 1963 - January 13th, 2002

Blew.

Frank Shuster · 85

September 5th, 1916 - January 13th, 2002

Canadian.

Cyrus Vance · 84

March 27th, 1917 - January 12th, 2002

This savvy statesman held a variety of jobs in Washington before resigning as Jimmy Carter's Secretary of State when it was learned he'd been supplying cocaine and Quaaludes to little Amy.

Dave Thomas · 69

July 2nd, 1932 - January 8th, 2002

Now comes with flies.

Avery Schreiber · 66

April 9th, 1935 - January 7th, 2002

Crunch.

Esquivel! · 83

January 20th, 1918 - January 3rd, 2002

What the hell was the deal with this fruitcake?

Julia Phillips · 57

April 7th, 1944 - January 1st, 2002

She'll never have lunch on this planet again.

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!