The Stiffs for 2001

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Eileen Heckart · 82

March 29th, 1919 - December 31st, 2001

Butterflies are free ... and so is she.

Nigel Hawthorne · 72

April 5th, 1929 - December 26th, 2001

Don't bother making plans for Nigel.

Harvey Martin · 51

November 16th, 1950 - December 24th, 2001

Personal foul .... Roughing the pancreas .... Defense, number 79 ....

Lance Loud · 50

June 26th, 1951 - December 23rd, 2001

An American fatality.

Dick Schaap · 67

September 27th, 1934 - December 21st, 2001

This means that without Vitale, ESPN would be completely Dickless.

Foster Brooks · 89

May 11th, 1912 - December 20th, 2001

No need to embalm this one.

Stuart Adamson · 43

April 11th, 1958 - December 17th, 2001

He couldn't stay here with every single hope he had shattered.

Rufus Thomas · 84

March 27th, 1917 - December 15th, 2001

He continues his seemingly endless string of R&B dance classics with "The Extra-Funky Chicken."

George Harrison · 58

February 25th, 1943 - November 29th, 2001

All things must pass.

John Knowles · 75

September 16th, 1926 - November 29th, 2001

A separated piece.

Bo Belinsky · 64

December 7th, 1936 - November 23rd, 2001

While others like to point out that Bo threw the West Coast's first major league no-hitter in '62, we think the most impressive accomplishment of his rookie season was the four-bagger of Ann-Margret, Connie Stevens, Tina Louise and Mamie Van Doren. Talk about your role models ....

O.C. Smith · 69

June 21st, 1932 - November 23rd, 2001

Just for your information, O.C., God DID make the little green apples, it rains in Indianapolis all the fucking time, and you're dead.

Mary Ash · 83

May 12th, 1918 - November 22nd, 2001

Well, pretty much, yeah.

Ken Kesey · 66

September 17th, 1935 - November 10th, 2001

One flew east, one flew west, and one succumbed to liver cancer.

Juan Bosch · 92

June 30th, 1909 - November 1st, 2001

Dominican Republic guy. I don't know if he was any good, but that place sure does make some good underwear.

Herbert Ross · 74

May 13th, 1927 - October 9th, 2001

He directed The Sunshine Boys in '75, and Footloose in '84.
What the hell happened in between there?

Herbert Block · 91

October 13th, 1909 - October 7th, 2001

Deaduck.

Mike Mansfield · 98

March 16th, 1903 - October 5th, 2001

And with the Eight Is Enough reunion no longer a possibility, Mike throws in the towel.

Emilie Schindler · 93

October 22nd, 1907 - October 5th, 2001

Cross her off the list.

Lani O'Grady · 46

October 2nd, 1954 - September 25th, 2001

Looks like seven's gonna have to be enough.

Isaac Stern

September 22nd, 2001

Nighty-night, fiddle boy.

Samuel Arkoff

September 16th, 2001

Tonight's feature, "How To Stuff A Wood Bikini," or, "The Day The B-Movie Producer's Heart Stood Still."

Fred De Cordova

September 15th, 2001

How dead is he?

Dorothy McGuire · 85

June 14th, 1916 - September 13th, 2001

A tree grows in Brooklyn, and an actress dies in L.A.

Justin Wilson · 87

April 24th, 1914 - September 6th, 2001

He daid, lahk a boiled squirrel, we gair-awn-tee!

Henry Nasiff · 39

April 20th, 1962 - September 4th, 2001

He had the body of a dwarf, but the talent of a midget.

Pauline Kael · 82

June 19th, 1919 - September 3rd, 2001

Flopping around on her four-poster bed like a trout in a rowboat, she finally kicked the proverbial bucket, going tits-up with all the panache and sophistication of a can of yams.

Troy Donahue · 65

January 27th, 1936 - September 2nd, 2001

His new exchange? Turfside 6.

Christiaan Barnard · 78

November 8th, 1922 - September 2nd, 2001

The internationally renowned heart specialist, famed for performing the first successful heart transplant, died of an asthma attack, thereby negating any opportunity for a worthwhile blurb, the thoughtless prick.

Aaliyah · 22

January 16th, 1979 - August 25th, 2001

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again, unless you happen to have been in a Cessna, in which case, never mind.

Jane Greer

August 24th, 2001

Out of the present.

Betty Everett · 61

November 23rd, 1939 - August 19th, 2001

Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, she's in the ground (that's where she is).

Earl Anthony · 63

April 27th, 1938 - August 14th, 2001

Square Earl has picked up his last split.

Lou Boudreau · 84

July 17th, 1917 - August 10th, 2001

He be dead.

Maureen Reagan

August 8th, 2001

Ol' Shit-for-brains is going to be the last one left, isn't he?

Lorenzo Music

August 4th, 2001

Hello, this is Carlton your doornail.

Christopher Hewett · 80

April 5th, 1921 - August 3rd, 2001

That will be all, Belvedere.

Ron Townson · 68

January 20th, 1933 - August 2nd, 2001

One less man to pick up after.

Eudora Welty

July 23rd, 2001

Undeliverable. The authoress has permanent fatal errors.

Frances Horwich · 94

July 16th, 1907 - July 22nd, 2001

Ding dong, Horwich is dead.

Gunther Gebel-Williams

July 19th, 2001

Lions and Tigers and Brain Tumors! Oh my!

Mimi Farina

July 18th, 2001

Never mind the bread

Katharine Graham · 84

June 16th, 1917 - July 17th, 2001

Looks like she got her tit caught in that big, fat wringer.

Fred Neil

July 7th, 2001

Everybody's talkin' at him, but he can't hear a word they're sayin'.

Ernie K-Doe

July 5th, 2001

The self-proclaimed Emperor of the World joins his mother-in-law down below. Burn, K-Doe, burn.

Mordecai Richler

July 2nd, 2001

As the author of the novel "The Apprenticeship Of Duddy Kravitz," he can bear only the smallest fraction of responsibility for the career of Richard Dreyfuss. Still, it's enough for us to say "Good riddance, you yutz."

Chet Atkins · 77

June 20th, 1924 - June 30th, 2001

Finger pickin' dead.

Mortimer Adler

June 28th, 2001

Eventually, he would be known as the world's highest-paid philosopher, but Mort got his start as the guy in the Bazooka Joe comics with the turtleneck over his face. No, really.

Jack Lemmon · 76

February 8th, 1925 - June 27th, 2001

Lemmon drops.

Tove Jansson · 86

August 9th, 1914 - June 27th, 2001

Moominsnoozer.

John Lee Hooker · 83

August 22nd, 1917 - June 21st, 2001

Boom, boom, boom, thud.

Carroll O'Connor · 76

August 2nd, 1924 - June 21st, 2001

Bunkered.

Timothy McVeigh

June 11th, 2001

Until his execution, he was officially recognized as the Most Universally Despised Human (MUDH), a position previously held by O.J. Simpson and Saddam Hussein.
Hmmmm ... wonder who it is now ....

John Hartford · 63

December 30th, 1937 - June 4th, 2001

O brother, where art thou?

Anthony Quinn · 86

April 21st, 1915 - June 3rd, 2001

He was reported to have fathered at least 13 children, the last at age 81. Can I get some help from the congregation?
Come on without ... come on within ...
You'll not see nothin' like the mighty Quinn.

Imogene Coca

June 2nd, 2001

It's about time.

Hank Ketcham

June 1st, 2001

He based his world-famous comic strip on the antics of his real-life son, who remains a menace long after changing his surname to Rodman.

Arlene Francis · 93

October 20th, 1907 - May 31st, 2001

Is she buried in a breadbox?

Victor Kiam · 74

December 7th, 1926 - May 27th, 2001

This is the guy who liked Remington shavers so much, he bought the company. Of course, he also bought the Patriots.

Whitman Mayo · 70

November 15th, 1930 - May 22nd, 2001

Here's proof that appearances can be deceiving. On Sanford And Son, he looked like a complete idiot, and yet, there's that clinic ....

Jason Miller · 62

April 22nd, 1939 - May 13th, 2001

Exorcise this, punk!

Top Jimmy · 47

May 1st, 1954 - May 13th, 2001

Cooked.

Simon Raven

May 12th, 2001

Nevermore.

Perry Como

May 12th, 2001

How can they tell?

Douglas Adams · 51

March 11th, 1950 - May 11th, 2001

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Cliff Hillegass

May 5th, 2001

He was born. He created Cliffs Notes. He died.

Boozoo Chavis

May 5th, 2001

Best known for the '54 classic "Paper In My Shoe," and now working on the follow-up, "Dirt On My Head."

Billy Higgins · 64

October 11th, 1936 - May 3rd, 2001

He's doing that real slow shuffle.

Happy Hairston · 58

May 31st, 1942 - May 1st, 2001

His given name was Harold, and he's now known as "Somewhat Less Than Thrilled" Hairston.

Chandra Levy · 24

April 14th, 1977 - May 1st, 2001

Do you really care? Really? Why?

Joey Ramone · 49

May 19th, 1951 - April 15th, 2001

Sedated enough for ya, Joey?

Harry Secombe · 79

September 8th, 1921 - April 11th, 2001

Goon, but not forgotten.

Willie Stargell · 61

March 6th, 1940 - April 9th, 2001

He's still cooler than Mark McGwire will ever be.

Brother Theodore

April 5th, 2001

Legend has it that he bought his way out of Dachau and was brought to the U.S. with the help of Albert Einstein. Hey, even geniuses make mistakes.

Ed Roth · 69

March 4th, 1932 - April 4th, 2001

Rat Fink Lives!
Ed, on the other hand, does not.

William Hanna · 90

July 14th, 1910 - March 22nd, 2001

Billy's got it better than a millionaire;

that's because he isn't even vaguely aware..

Norma Macmillan · 79

September 15th, 1921 - March 21st, 2001

The voice of Sweet Polly Purebread is toast.

John Phillips · 65

August 30th, 1935 - March 18th, 2001

Now he's in the ground, and his eyes are gray.

Ann Sothern · 92

January 22nd, 1909 - March 15th, 2001

My mother the corpse.

Morton Downey · 57

December 9th, 1943 - March 12th, 2001

Maybe those skinheads finally got him ....

Glenn Hughes · 50

July 18th, 1950 - March 4th, 2001

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A,
until you come down with A-I-D-S.

Harold Stassen · 93

April 13th, 1907 - March 4th, 2001

Some may see it as desperation, but after nine unsuccessful Presidential campaigns, Harold's going for the sympathy vote.

John Fahey · 61

February 28th, 1939 - February 22nd, 2001

Rolling Stone ranked him the 35th best guitarist of all time. It still took almost twenty years before anyone told us he was dead.

Bill Rigney · 83

January 29th, 1918 - February 20th, 2001

He's with the angels now, which is very similar to being with the Angels, except the uniforms aren't as bad.

Stanley Kramer · 87

September 29th, 1913 - February 19th, 2001

He was an old, old, old, old man.

Eddie Mathews · 69

October 13th, 1931 - February 18th, 2001

From the hot corner to a cold, wooden box.

Dale Earnhardt · 49

April 29th, 1951 - February 18th, 2001

What?! No airbag!??!

Balthasar Klossowski de Rola · 92

February 29th, 1908 - February 18th, 2001

Left us.

William Masters · 85

December 27th, 1915 - February 16th, 2001

Good riddance, pervo.

Abraham Beame · 94

March 20th, 1906 - February 10th, 2001

GOD TO MAYOR: DROP DEAD.

R.J. Rushdoony · 84

April 25th, 1916 - February 8th, 2001

The call him "The Father of Christian Homeschooling". Wow. Bitchin.

Anne Lindbergh · 94

June 22nd, 1906 - February 7th, 2001

Now it can finally be revealed that Charles was nothing more than a bed-wetting coward, and "Kiss-My-Fanny" Annie did all the flying.

Dale Evans · 88

October 31st, 1912 - February 7th, 2001

Oh, look ... they meet again.

Al McGuire · 72

September 7th, 1928 - January 26th, 2001

Coach McGuire demonstrates his unshakable faith in the zone defense known as "the box and one."

Tommie Agee · 58

August 9th, 1942 - January 22nd, 2001

Tommie no agee no more.

Gregory Corso · 70

March 26th, 1930 - January 17th, 2001

There once was a poet named Corso
who had a bad gland in his torso.
But, before cancer nailed him,
beat critics once hailed him
as, like, Kerouac, only more so.

William Hewlett · 87

May 20th, 1913 - January 12th, 2001

He's cleared his cache for the last time.

Les Brown · 88

March 14th, 1912 - January 4th, 2001

More gray.

Ray Walston · 86

November 2nd, 1914 - January 1st, 2001

Our favorite Martian has left the planet.

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!