The Stiffs for 2019

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Don Imus · 79

July 23rd, 1940 - December 27th, 2019

No more Imus In The Morning. Or afternoon or evening for that matter. Cheer up. He was an asshole.

Jerry Herman · 88

July 10th, 1931 - December 26th, 2019

"Goodbye, Dolly!" is the easy way out. We'll go with, "Looks like he got a little too much Christmas."

Ram Dass · 88

April 6th, 1931 - December 22nd, 2019

Was here then.

Hayden Fry · 90

February 28th, 1929 - December 17th, 2019

He was a scandal-free, beloved college football coach who finished his career with a winning record. At Iowa.

Danny Aiello · 86

June 20th, 1933 - December 12th, 2019

Michael Corleone says goodbye!

Clive James · 80

October 7th, 1939 - November 24th, 2019

Until June 2017, he wrote a weekly newspaper column titled "Reports of My Death...". Sounds like our kind of guy.

Bill Macy · 97

May 18th, 1922 - October 17th, 2019

He convinced audiences that he loved Bea Arthur, which makes him a legendary actor.

Ginger Baker · 80

August 19th, 1939 - October 6th, 2019

His first solo album was Ginger Baker at his Best and his last was just called Why? If that isn't some hardcore rockstar shit right there, we don't know what is.

Rip Taylor · 84

January 13th, 1935 - October 6th, 2019

His nickname was "the crying comedian", and his signature move was throwing confetti around. Yeah - we got nothing.

Diahann Carroll · 84

July 17th, 1935 - October 4th, 2019

She was the first black woman to star in a TV show (in 1968) in a non-servant role. She won an Academy Award for Best Actress. She worked with women at the LA Mission for decades. And she survived breast cancer. All of that is incredibly impressive, but there's just no getting around it: that is a RIDICULOUS way to spell Diane.

Jacques Chirac · 86

November 29th, 1932 - September 26th, 2019

The only thing he had more of than corruption charges were girlfriends. Can't decide if we like him or not.

Barron Hilton · 91

October 23rd, 1927 - September 19th, 2019

Built a hotel empire, was huge in aviation, started the American Football League, which eventually merged with the NFL and created the Suoer Bowl, had 8 kids, 15 grandkids, and was a solid philanthropist. And somehow his vapid granddaughter gets all the press. That SUCKS.

Cokie Roberts · 75

December 27th, 1943 - September 17th, 2019

Her full name was Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Roberts. We'd have probably gone with Cokie too. Just because it was long. Not because of what you are thinking about us right now.

Eddie Money · 70

March 21st, 1949 - September 13th, 2019

One way ticket to paradise.

T. Boone Pickens · 91

May 22nd, 1928 - September 11th, 2019

Slimmer Pickens. Much slimmer.

Robert Mugabe · 95

February 21st, 1924 - September 5th, 2019

He resigned as the leader of Zimbabwe, right in the middle of his impeachment hearings.

Just sayin'.

Valerie Harper · 80

August 22nd, 1939 - August 30th, 2019

End of the Rhoad.

David Koch · 79

May 3rd, 1940 - August 23rd, 2019

Businessman. Libertarian. Philanthropist. Engineer. Dick.

Peter Fonda · 79

February 23rd, 1940 - August 16th, 2019

Farted Open
Raped Often
Deaf Pen Rot

Sometimes when we can't think of an obituary for someone, we just come up with anagrams for their name.

Reaped Font
Patron Feed
Defeat Porn

Now is one of those times.

Rutger Hauer · 75

January 23rd, 1944 - July 19th, 2019

Aside from Blade Runner, we think his greatest performance was multiple appearances in something called "Direct to DVD"

John Paul Stevens · 99

April 20th, 1920 - July 16th, 2019

In the matter of Grim Reaper v. Stevens, the finding is for the plaintiff.

Jim Bouton · 80

March 8th, 1939 - July 10th, 2019

He invented Big League Chew. Remember that? Strands of bubble gum, that came in a pouch that made you feel like a real big time ball player chewing tobacco. Sure - they lost flavor in like 4 seconds, but that was a glorious 4 seconds. You felt yourself right up there on the mound, ready to deliver a smoking fastball right over the plate to win game 7 of the World Series. It was transformational. And Jim invented it.

Anyway, he's dead.

Rip Torn · 88

February 6th, 1931 - July 9th, 2019

Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Ross Perot · 89

June 27th, 1930 - July 9th, 2019

Remember when we all thought he was too crazy to run for President? Boy - those were the days, huh?

Arte Johnson · 90

January 20th, 1929 - July 3rd, 2019

A distinguished acting career, and he'll be bets remember for playing both a Nazi soldier and a horny old man who hit on Ruth Buzzi. Congrats, Arte.

Lee Iacocca · 94

October 15th, 1924 - July 2nd, 2019

A legend in the automotive industry. Ugly as a mud fence, but a legend.

Judith Krantz · 91

January 9th, 1928 - June 22nd, 2019

Til we meet again indeed.

Gloria Vanderbilt · 95

February 20th, 1924 - June 17th, 2019

The only "Crime of the Century" is how this self-absorbed socialite got famous in the first place.

Franco Zeffirelli · 96

February 12th, 1923 - June 15th, 2019

Roger Ebert once said "I believe Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet is the most exciting film of Shakespeare ever made" Well, jeez. There you go then.

Bart Starr · 85

January 9th, 1934 - May 26th, 2019

All packed up.

Claus von Bulow · 92

August 11th, 1926 - May 25th, 2019

Now we'll never know what happened with Sunny. GREAT.

Herman Wouk · 103

May 27th, 1915 - May 18th, 2019

They called him"The Jackie Robinson Of Jewish-American Fiction". We have no idea what that means but assume it is something awesome.

I.M. Pei · 102

April 26th, 1917 - May 16th, 2019

Not anymore you're not.

Tim Conway · 85

December 13th, 1933 - May 14th, 2019

What's a Tim Conway?
Significantly less these days.

Doris Day · 97

April 3rd, 1922 - May 13th, 2019

Day turns to night.

Peter Mayhew · 74

May 19th, 1944 - April 30th, 2019

Chewed up.

Le Duc Anh · 98

December 1st, 1920 - April 22nd, 2019

Loosely translated, his name means "He who is the leader of those who would follow, and will rule over the will of the people, and also looks like a Duck."

Charles Van Doren · 93

February 12th, 1926 - April 9th, 2019

For 11 points: who cheated like a punk on game shows in the 50s while disgracing his family name?

Ernest Hollings · 97

January 1st, 1922 - April 6th, 2019

On the Fritz.

Dick Dale · 81

May 4th, 1937 - March 16th, 2019

Surf's down.

Luke Perry · 52

October 11th, 1966 - March 4th, 2019

New zip code for Luke.

Katherine Helmond · 89

July 5th, 1929 - February 23rd, 2019

Who's the moss?

Peter Tork · 77

February 13th, 1942 - February 21st, 2019

Bass player for a fake band. This is one of those days for us.

Stanley Donen · 94

April 13th, 1924 - February 21st, 2019

Singin' in the ground.

Karl Lagerfeld · 85

September 10th, 1933 - February 19th, 2019

Fashionably late.

Princess Lee Radziwill · 85

March 3rd, 1933 - February 15th, 2019

Her sister picked better husbands, and that's saying something.

Lyndon LaRouche · 96

September 8th, 1922 - February 12th, 2019

He ran for President 8 times. He was the FIRST proof than any crazy nutbag can run for President.

Jan-Michael Vincent · 74

July 15th, 1944 - February 10th, 2019

Two first names, like 10 drunk driving convictions, a secret prosthetic leg, AND they waited a MONTH to point out that he was dead. What was the DEAL with this guy?

John Dingell · 92

July 8th, 1926 - February 7th, 2019

Dingell buried.

Albert Finney · 82

May 9th, 1936 - February 7th, 2019

Deady Warbucks

Kaye Ballard · 93

November 20th, 1925 - January 21st, 2019

Her big catchphrase was "Good luck with your MOUTH!" - so, umm, yeah.

Carol Channing · 97

January 31st, 1921 - January 15th, 2019

Goodbye, Dolly.

Mel Stottlemyre · 77

November 13th, 1941 - January 13th, 2019

There’s simply nothing funny about a well-respected pitching coach.

Bob Einstein · 76

November 10th, 1942 - January 2nd, 2019

And for our first stiff of the year - a fake stuntman. AWESOME.

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!