Died December 27, 2019 · Age 79
Don Imus
No more Imus In The Morning. Or afternoon or evening for that matter. Cheer up. He was an asshole.
54 stiffs · 2019
The Stiffs
For the 32nd year running, our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on anybody’s list, or mattered at all, they’re here. Looking for everybody? Try the Directory.
Died December 26, 2019 · Age 88
Jerry Herman
"Goodbye, Dolly!" is the easy way out. We'll go with, "Looks like he got a little too much Christmas."
Died December 17, 2019 · Age 90
Hayden Fry
He was a scandal-free, beloved college football coach who finished his career with a winning record. At Iowa.
Died November 24, 2019 · Age 80
Clive James
Until June 2017, he wrote a weekly newspaper column titled "Reports of My Death...". Sounds like our kind of guy.
Died October 17, 2019 · Age 97
Bill Macy
He convinced audiences that he loved Bea Arthur, which makes him a legendary actor.
Died October 6, 2019 · Age 80
Ginger Baker
His first solo album was Ginger Baker at his Best and his last was just called Why? If that isn't some hardcore rockstar shit right there, we don't know what is.
Died October 6, 2019 · Age 84
Rip Taylor
His nickname was "the crying comedian", and his signature move was throwing confetti around. Yeah - we got nothing.
Died October 4, 2019 · Age 84
Diahann Carroll
She was the first black woman to star in a TV show (in 1968) in a non-servant role. She won an Academy Award for Best Actress. She worked with women at the LA Mission for decades. And she survived breast cancer. All of that is incredibly impressive, but there's just no getting around it: that is a RIDICULOUS way to spell Diane.
Died September 26, 2019 · Age 86
Jacques Chirac
The only thing he had more of than corruption charges were girlfriends. Can't decide if we like him or not.
Died September 19, 2019 · Age 91
Barron Hilton
Built a hotel empire, was huge in aviation, started the American Football League, which eventually merged with the NFL and created the Suoer Bowl, had 8 kids, 15 grandkids, and was a solid philanthropist. And somehow his vapid granddaughter gets all the press. That SUCKS.
Died September 17, 2019 · Age 75
Cokie Roberts
Her full name was Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Roberts. We'd have probably gone with Cokie too. Just because it was long. Not because of what you are thinking about us right now.
Died September 5, 2019 · Age 95
Robert Mugabe
He resigned as the leader of Zimbabwe, right in the middle of his impeachment hearings.
Just sayin'.
Died August 16, 2019 · Age 79
Peter Fonda
Farted Open
Raped Often
Deaf Pen Rot
Sometimes when we can't think of an obituary for someone, we just come up with anagrams for their name.
Reaped Font
Patron Feed
Defeat Porn
Now is one of those times.
Died July 19, 2019 · Age 75
Rutger Hauer
Aside from Blade Runner, we think his greatest performance was multiple appearances in something called "Direct to DVD"
Died July 16, 2019 · Age 99
John Paul Stevens
In the matter of Grim Reaper v. Stevens, the finding is for the plaintiff.
Died July 10, 2019 · Age 80
Jim Bouton
He invented Big League Chew. Remember that? Strands of bubble gum, that came in a pouch that made you feel like a real big time ball player chewing tobacco. Sure - they lost flavor in like 4 seconds, but that was a glorious 4 seconds. You felt yourself right up there on the mound, ready to deliver a smoking fastball right over the plate to win game 7 of the World Series. It was transformational. And Jim invented it.
Anyway, he's dead.
Died July 9, 2019 · Age 89
Ross Perot
Remember when we all thought he was too crazy to run for President? Boy - those were the days, huh?
Died July 3, 2019 · Age 90
Arte Johnson
A distinguished acting career, and he'll be bets remember for playing both a Nazi soldier and a horny old man who hit on Ruth Buzzi. Congrats, Arte.
Died July 2, 2019 · Age 94
Lee Iacocca
A legend in the automotive industry. Ugly as a mud fence, but a legend.
Died June 17, 2019 · Age 95
Gloria Vanderbilt
The only "Crime of the Century" is how this self-absorbed socialite got famous in the first place.
Died June 15, 2019 · Age 96
Franco Zeffirelli
Roger Ebert once said "I believe Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet is the most exciting film of Shakespeare ever made" Well, jeez. There you go then.
Died May 18, 2019 · Age 103
Herman Wouk
They called him"The Jackie Robinson Of Jewish-American Fiction". We have no idea what that means but assume it is something awesome.
Died April 22, 2019 · Age 98
Le Duc Anh
Loosely translated, his name means "He who is the leader of those who would follow, and will rule over the will of the people, and also looks like a Duck."
Died April 9, 2019 · Age 93
Charles Van Doren
For 11 points: who cheated like a punk on game shows in the 50s while disgracing his family name?
Died February 21, 2019 · Age 77
Peter Tork
Bass player for a fake band. This is one of those days for us.
Died February 15, 2019 · Age 85
Princess Lee Radziwill
Her sister picked better husbands, and that's saying something.
Died February 12, 2019 · Age 96
Lyndon LaRouche
He ran for President 8 times. He was the FIRST proof than any crazy nutbag can run for President.
Died February 10, 2019 · Age 74
Jan-Michael Vincent
Two first names, like 10 drunk driving convictions, a secret prosthetic leg, AND they waited a MONTH to point out that he was dead. What was the DEAL with this guy?
Died January 21, 2019 · Age 93
Kaye Ballard
Her big catchphrase was "Good luck with your MOUTH!" - so, umm, yeah.
Died January 13, 2019 · Age 77
Mel Stottlemyre
There’s simply nothing funny about a well-respected pitching coach.
Died January 2, 2019 · Age 76
Bob Einstein
And for our first stiff of the year - a fake stuntman. AWESOME.