For the 25th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Ginger Baker

46

Ginger Baker · 80

August 19th, 1939 - October 6th, 2019


His first solo album was Ginger Baker at his Best and his last was just called Why? If that isn't some hardcore rockstar shit right there, we don't know what is.

Rip Taylor

45

Rip Taylor · 84

January 13th, 1935 - October 6th, 2019


His nickname was "the crying comedian", and his signature move was throwing confetti around. Yeah - we got nothing.

Diahann Carroll

44

Diahann Carroll · 84

July 17th, 1935 - October 4th, 2019


She was the first black woman to star in a TV show (in 1968) in a non-servant role. She won an Academy Award for Best Actress. She worked with women at the LA Mission for decades. And she survived breast cancer. All of that is incredibly impressive, but there's just no getting around it: that is a RIDICULOUS way to spell Diane.

Jacques Chirac

43

Jacques Chirac · 86

November 29th, 1932 - September 26th, 2019


The only thing he had more of than corruption charges were girlfriends. Can't decide if we like him or not.

Barron Hilton

42

Barron Hilton · 91

October 23rd, 1927 - September 19th, 2019


Built a hotel empire, was huge in aviation, started the American Football League, which eventually merged with the NFL and created the Suoer Bowl, had 8 kids, 15 grandkids, and was a solid philanthropist. And somehow his vapid granddaughter gets all the press. That SUCKS.

Cokie Roberts

41

Cokie Roberts · 75

December 27th, 1943 - September 17th, 2019


Her full name was Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Roberts. We'd have probably gone with Cokie too. Just because it was long. Not because of what you are thinking about us right now.

Eddie Money

40

Eddie Money · 70

March 21st, 1949 - September 13th, 2019


One way ticket to paradise.

T. Boone Pickens

39

T. Boone Pickens · 91

May 22nd, 1928 - September 11th, 2019


Slimmer Pickens. Much slimmer.

Robert Mugabe

38

Robert Mugabe · 95

February 21st, 1924 - September 5th, 2019


He resigned as the leader of Zimbabwe, right in the middle of his impeachment hearings.

Just sayin'.

Valerie Harper

37

Valerie Harper · 80

August 22nd, 1939 - August 30th, 2019


End of the Rhoad.

David Koch

36

David Koch · 79

May 3rd, 1940 - August 23rd, 2019


Businessman. Libertarian. Philanthropist. Engineer. Dick.

Peter Fonda

35

Peter Fonda · 79

February 23rd, 1940 - August 16th, 2019


Farted Open
Raped Often
Deaf Pen Rot

Sometimes when we can't think of an obituary for someone, we just come up with anagrams for their name.

Reaped Font
Patron Feed
Defeat Porn

Now is one of those times.

Rutger Hauer

34

Rutger Hauer · 75

January 23rd, 1944 - July 19th, 2019


Aside from Blade Runner, we think his greatest performance was multiple appearances in something called "Direct to DVD"

John Paul Stevens

33

John Paul Stevens · 99

April 20th, 1920 - July 16th, 2019


In the matter of Grim Reaper v. Stevens, the finding is for the plaintiff.

Jim Bouton

32

Jim Bouton · 80

March 8th, 1939 - July 10th, 2019


He invented Big League Chew. Remember that? Strands of bubble gum, that came in a pouch that made you feel like a real big time ball player chewing tobacco. Sure - they lost flavor in like 4 seconds, but that was a glorious 4 seconds. You felt yourself right up there on the mound, ready to deliver a smoking fastball right over the plate to win game 7 of the World Series. It was transformational. And Jim invented it.

Anyway, he's dead.

Ross Perot

31

Ross Perot · 89

June 27th, 1930 - July 9th, 2019


Remember when we all thought he was too crazy to run for President? Boy - those were the days, huh?

Rip Torn

30

Rip Torn · 88

February 6th, 1931 - July 9th, 2019


Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Arte Johnson

29

Arte Johnson · 90

January 20th, 1929 - July 3rd, 2019


A distinguished acting career, and he'll be bets remember for playing both a Nazi soldier and a horny old man who hit on Ruth Buzzi. Congrats, Arte.

Lee Iacocca

28

Lee Iacocca · 94

October 15th, 1924 - July 2nd, 2019


A legend in the automotive industry. Ugly as a mud fence, but a legend.

Judith Krantz

27

Judith Krantz · 91

January 9th, 1928 - June 22nd, 2019


Til we meet again indeed.

Gloria Vanderbilt

26

Gloria Vanderbilt · 95

February 20th, 1924 - June 17th, 2019


The only "Crime of the Century" is how this self-absorbed socialite got famous in the first place.

Franco Zeffirelli

25

Franco Zeffirelli · 96

February 12th, 1923 - June 15th, 2019


Roger Ebert once said "I believe Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet is the most exciting film of Shakespeare ever made" Well, jeez. There you go then.

Bart Starr

24

Bart Starr · 85

January 9th, 1934 - May 26th, 2019


All packed up.

Claus von Bulow

23

Claus von Bulow · 92

August 11th, 1926 - May 25th, 2019


Now we'll never know what happened with Sunny. GREAT.

Herman Wouk

22

Herman Wouk · 103

May 27th, 1915 - May 18th, 2019


They called him"The Jackie Robinson Of Jewish-American Fiction". We have no idea what that means but assume it is something awesome.

I.M. Pei

21

I.M. Pei · 102

April 26th, 1917 - May 16th, 2019


Not anymore you're not.

Tim Conway

20

Tim Conway · 85

December 13th, 1933 - May 14th, 2019


What's a Tim Conway?
Significantly less these days.

Doris Day

19

Doris Day · 97

April 3rd, 1922 - May 13th, 2019


Day turns to night.

Peter Mayhew

18

Peter Mayhew · 74

May 19th, 1944 - April 30th, 2019


Chewed up.

Le Duc Anh

17

Le Duc Anh · 98

December 1st, 1920 - April 22nd, 2019


Loosely translated, his name means "He who is the leader of those who would follow, and will rule over the will of the people, and also looks like a Duck."

Charles Van Doren

16

Charles Van Doren · 93

February 12th, 1926 - April 9th, 2019


For 11 points: who cheated like a punk on game shows in the 50s while disgracing his family name?

Ernest Hollings

15

Ernest Hollings · 97

January 1st, 1922 - April 6th, 2019


On the Fritz.

Dick Dale

14

Dick Dale · 81

May 4th, 1937 - March 16th, 2019


Surf's down.

Luke Perry

13

Luke Perry · 52

October 11th, 1966 - March 4th, 2019


New zip code for Luke.

Katherine Helmond

12

Katherine Helmond · 89

July 5th, 1929 - February 23rd, 2019


Who's the moss?

Peter Tork

11

Peter Tork · 77

February 13th, 1942 - February 21st, 2019


Bass player for a fake band. This is one of those days for us.

Stanley Donen

10

Stanley Donen · 94

April 13th, 1924 - February 21st, 2019


Singin' in the ground.

Karl Lagerfeld

9

Karl Lagerfeld · 85

September 10th, 1933 - February 19th, 2019


Fashionably late.

Lyndon LaRouche

8

Lyndon LaRouche · 96

September 8th, 1922 - February 12th, 2019


He ran for President 8 times. He was the FIRST proof than any crazy nutbag can run for President.

Jan-Michael Vincent

7

Jan-Michael Vincent · 74

July 15th, 1944 - February 10th, 2019


Two first names, like 10 drunk driving convictions, a secret prosthetic leg, AND they waited a MONTH to point out that he was dead. What was the DEAL with this guy?

John Dingell

6

John Dingell · 92

July 8th, 1926 - February 7th, 2019


Dingell buried.

Albert Finney

5

Albert Finney · 82

May 9th, 1936 - February 7th, 2019


Deady Warbucks

Kaye Ballard

4

Kaye Ballard · 93

November 20th, 1925 - January 21st, 2019


Her big catchphrase was "Good luck with your MOUTH!" - so, umm, yeah.

Carol Channing

3

Carol Channing · 97

January 31st, 1921 - January 15th, 2019


Goodbye, Dolly.

Mel Stottlemyre

2

Mel Stottlemyre · 77

November 13th, 1941 - January 13th, 2019


There’s simply nothing funny about a well-respected pitching coach.

Bob Einstein

1

Bob Einstein · 76

November 10th, 1942 - January 2nd, 2019


And for our first stiff of the year - a fake stuntman. AWESOME.

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

Her wad.

(d) March 2nd, 2004