Died December 31, 2022 · Age 95
Pope Benedict XVI
He was a really good Pope - as far as ex-Nazi child beaters go.
49 stiffs · 2022
The Stiffs
For the 32nd year running, our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on anybody’s list, or mattered at all, they’re here. Looking for everybody? Try the Directory.
Died December 6, 2022 · Age 85
Mills Lane
The bald ex-Marine refereed more than 100 title fights, opened each one with “Let’s get it on!” and ended one by disqualifying Mike Tyson for eating part of Evander Holyfield’s ear. He was also Reno’s district attorney, a judge, a TV judge and the claymation referee on Celebrity Deathmatch, which is how a dead pool would like to remember him. A stroke slowed him in 2002; time finally rang the bell at 85.
Died November 30, 2022 · Age 96
Jiang Zemin
Dude was the President of China for 10 years, and the only unscrupulous thing we can find is that he married his cousin? What a rip off.
Died November 16, 2022 · Age 96
Robert Clary
He went from being in an actual concentration camp to being in Hogan's Heroes. Talk about commitment to the role.
Died October 28, 2022 · Age 87
Jerry Lee Lewis
If you can dig out a good obit for a guy who had one hit song and married a 13 year old, please do let us know.
Died October 4, 2022 · Age 90
Loretta Lynn
From 1963 to 1983, she made on average two albums a YEAR. Then one every 3 years until 2003. Then a bunch after that. No wonder she died.
Died September 24, 2022 · Age 74
Kitten Natividad
Vital stats for this exotic dancer:
44 inch bust
That's as far as we got.
Died September 19, 2022 · Age 89
Maury Wills
He stole 104 bases in 1962, the most larceny anyone saw at Dodger Stadium until they started charging for parking, won the MVP and three World Series and brought the stolen base back from the dead. Then he managed the Mariners for 82 games, during which he had the groundskeepers make the batter’s boxes longer, got suspended for it and was fired. He died at 89 in Sedona, presumably headfirst.
Died September 13, 2022 · Age 76
Kenneth Starr
You should only say good about the dead. Ken Starr is dead. Good.
Died September 13, 2022 · Age 91
Jean-Luc Godard
The father of the French New Wave made Breathless, invented the jump cut and spent the next sixty years making films that critics adored and audiences walked out of in shifts. He insulted Truffaut, Spielberg and most of the people who paid for his movies, and at 91 he chose an assisted death in Switzerland, ending on the abrupt cut he always loved. Fin.
Died September 12, 2022 · Age 87
Ramsey Lewis
The Chicago pianist turned “The ‘In’ Crowd” into a 1965 pop hit and made a fortune on the radical idea that jazz could be something your parents liked. Three Grammys, seven gold records and sixty years of “Wade in the Water” later, he died in his sleep at home at 87. The in crowd just got a lot smaller.
Died September 8, 2022 · Age 96
Queen Elizabeth II
This is where we write something nasty about the person who died.
Turns out, she was a terrible skateboarder.
Died August 30, 2022 · Age 91
Mikhail Gorbachev
On the one hand, he won a Nobel Peach Prize, the Indira Gandhi Prize for Peace, and a Grammy with Bill Clinton. On the other hand, he didn't drink or smoke. So this is a tough one for us.
Died August 2, 2022 · Age 94
Vin Scully
And a very pleasant good evening to you, wherever you may be.
Died July 31, 2022 · Age 88
Bill Russell
We don't care what anyone says - this guy was REALLY good at basketball.
Died July 30, 2022 · Age 89
Nichelle Nichols
Seriously? The best Star Trek could do was to have her answering the space phone?
Died July 30, 2022 · Age 95
Pat Carroll
She got canned from The Jetsons after one episode because she couldn't get the voice of Jane Jetson right. Wow.
Died July 30, 2022 · Age 71
Ayman al-Zawahiri
We really dug deep to find the nicest possible thing to say about this guy, so here it is:
He was a COMPLETE sack of SHIT.
Died July 6, 2022 · Age 82
James Caan
People always remember him for The Godfather, but for us it will always be Undercover Grandpa. A true triumph of cinematic artwork.
Died June 29, 2022 · Age 83
Sonny Barger
Despite the fact that he was a founding member of Hell's Angels, spent a lot of time in prison for things like attempted murder, robbery and assault, and beat his wife and kid - this guy was pretty much a complete piece of garbage.
Died May 26, 2022 · Age 67
Ray Liotta
For as long as he could remember, he always wanted to be alive.
Died April 30, 2022 · Age 76
Naomi Judd
Nominated to the Country Music Hall of Fame the day AFTER she died. That's a new one. It's usually that kind of thing that ends up being the kiss of death.
Died April 23, 2022 · Age 88
Orrin Hatch
Chair North.
A Rich Thorn.
Arron Hitch.
Sometimes when we can't think of a good obit for someone, we just come up with anagrams of the person's name.
Rat Rhonchi.
Ah, Rich Tron.
Now is one of those times.
Died April 12, 2022 · Age 67
Gilbert Gottfried
Aside from having a REALLY annoying voice, he was...well....let us get back to you.
Died March 23, 2022 · Age 84
Madeleine Albright
First female Secretary of State, spoke 8 languages, and - we're not kidding here - could leg press 400 pounds. Also - dead.
Died March 13, 2022 · Age 71
William Hurt
He won an Oscar for Kiss of the Spider Woman, steamed up Body Heat and moped through The Big Chill, then spent his last decade as the angry mustache in Marvel movies, chasing the Hulk for a paycheck. Off screen he was famously difficult, which is the polite way to put it. Prostate cancer finally got its big scene at 71. The Hulk is said to be taking it hard.
Died January 9, 2022 · Age 87
Dwayne Hickman
Actor. Did some stuff. NO idea how the Fame Committee made this guy a celeb. Oh well.
Died January 9, 2022 · Age 65
Bob Saget
He went from Full House to raunchy stand up comedy. That is how you spell HERO.
