The Stiffs for 2022

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Pope Benedict XVI · 95

April 16th, 1927 - December 31st, 2022

He was a really good Pope - as far as ex-Nazi child beaters go.

Barbara Walters · 93

September 25th, 1929 - December 30th, 2022

She dated Alan Greenspan. Jesus, Barb.

PELE · 82

October 23rd, 1940 - December 29th, 2022

Yeah, he was great and everything, but soccer still sucks.

Kirstie Alley

December 5th, 2022

Cheers.

Jiang Zemin · 96

August 17th, 1926 - November 30th, 2022

Dude was the President of China for 10 years, and the only unscrupulous thing we can find is that he married his cousin? What a rip off.

Irene Cara · 63

March 18th, 1959 - November 25th, 2022

What a feeling!

Robert Clary · 96

March 1st, 1926 - November 16th, 2022

He went from being in an actual concentration camp to being in Hogan's Heroes. Talk about commitment to the role.

Gallagher · 76

July 24th, 1946 - November 11th, 2022

Dead-o-matic.

Jerry Lee Lewis · 87

September 29th, 1935 - October 28th, 2022

If you can dig out a good obit for a guy who had one hit song and married a 13 year old, please do let us know.

Angela Lansbury · 96

October 16th, 1925 - October 11th, 2022

Died in her sleep, she wrote.

Loretta Lynn · 88

April 14th, 1934 - October 4th, 2022

From 1963 to 1983, she made on average two albums a YEAR. Then one every 3 years until 2003. Then a bunch after that. No wonder she died.

Kitten Natividad · 74

February 13th, 1948 - September 24th, 2022

Vital stats for this exotic dancer:

44 inch bust

That's as far as we got.

Louise Fletcher · 88

July 22nd, 1934 - September 23rd, 2022

Medication time!

Kenneth Starr · 76

July 21st, 1946 - September 13th, 2022

You should only say good about the dead. Ken Starr is dead. Good.

Queen Elizabeth II · 96

April 21st, 1926 - September 8th, 2022

This is where we write something nasty about the person who died.

Turns out, she was a terrible skateboarder.

Bernard Shaw · 82

May 22nd, 1940 - September 7th, 2022

Breaking: Broadcaster Bernard Broken By Big Bad Bug.

Mikhail Gorbachev · 91

March 2nd, 1931 - August 30th, 2022

On the one hand, he won a Nobel Peach Prize, the Indira Gandhi Prize for Peace, and a Grammy with Bill Clinton. On the other hand, he didn't drink or smoke. So this is a tough one for us.

Anne Heche · 53

May 25th, 1969 - August 12th, 2022

Almost survived six days, seven nights.

Olivia Newton-John · 73

September 26th, 1948 - August 8th, 2022

Look at me
I'm Sandra Dee
Dead as a
Doornail can be.

Vin Scully · 94

November 29th, 1927 - August 2nd, 2022

And a very pleasant good evening to you, wherever you may be.

Bill Russell · 88

February 12th, 1934 - July 31st, 2022

We don't care what anyone says - this guy was REALLY good at basketball.

Pat Carroll · 95

May 5th, 1927 - July 30th, 2022

She got canned from The Jetsons after one episode because she couldn't get the voice of Jane Jetson right. Wow.

Nichelle Nichols · 89

December 28th, 1932 - July 30th, 2022

Seriously? The best Star Trek could do was to have her answering the space phone?

Ayman al-Zawahiri

July 30th, 2022

We really dug deep to find the nicest possible thing to say about this guy, so here it is:

He was a COMPLETE sack of SHIT.

Tony Dow · 77

April 13th, 1945 - July 27th, 2022

Left it to Beaver.

Paul Sorvino · 83

April 13th, 1939 - July 25th, 2022

He had a really good system for the garlic.

Ivana Trump · 73

February 20th, 1949 - July 14th, 2022

WRONG ONE.

Larry Storch · 99

January 8th, 1923 - July 8th, 2022

Guess that F stood for "Finished".

James Caan · 82

March 26th, 1940 - July 6th, 2022

People always remember him for The Godfather, but for us it will always be Undercover Grandpa. A true triumph of cinematic artwork.

Sonny Barger · 83

October 8th, 1938 - June 29th, 2022

Despite the fact that he was a founding member of Hell's Angels, spent a lot of time in prison for things like attempted murder, robbery and assault, and beat his wife and kid - this guy was pretty much a complete piece of garbage.

Ronnie Hawkins · 87

January 10th, 1935 - May 29th, 2022

Rompin Ronnie is a rompin no more.

Ray Liotta · 67

December 18th, 1954 - May 26th, 2022

For as long as he could remember, he always wanted to be alive.

Roger Angell · 101

September 19th, 1920 - May 20th, 2022

Gone for Good.

Mickey Gilley · 86

March 9th, 1936 - May 7th, 2022

In a room full of roses.

Naomi Judd · 76

January 11th, 1946 - April 30th, 2022

Nominated to the Country Music Hall of Fame the day AFTER she died. That's a new one. It's usually that kind of thing that ends up being the kiss of death.

Orrin Hatch · 88

March 22nd, 1934 - April 23rd, 2022

Chair North.
A Rich Thorn.
Arron Hitch.

Sometimes when we can't think of a good obit for someone, we just come up with anagrams of the person's name.

Rat Rhonchi.
Ah, Rich Tron.

Now is one of those times.

Gilbert Gottfried · 67

February 28th, 1955 - April 12th, 2022

Aside from having a REALLY annoying voice, he was...well....let us get back to you.

Bobby Rydell · 79

April 26th, 1942 - April 5th, 2022

Bye bye, Bobby.

Madeleine Albright · 84

May 15th, 1937 - March 23rd, 2022

First female Secretary of State, spoke 8 languages, and - we're not kidding here - could leg press 400 pounds. Also - dead.

Louie Anderson · 68

March 24th, 1953 - January 21st, 2022

Kicked the basket.

Meat Loaf · 74

September 27th, 1947 - January 20th, 2022

His name was Robert Pauls...wait. His name was MARVIN?

Bob Saget · 65

May 17th, 1956 - January 9th, 2022

He went from Full House to raunchy stand up comedy. That is how you spell HERO.

Dwayne Hickman · 87

May 18th, 1934 - January 9th, 2022

Actor. Did some stuff. NO idea how the Fame Committee made this guy a celeb. Oh well.

Sidney Poitier · 94

February 20th, 1927 - January 6th, 2022

Guess who's NOT coming to dinner?

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!