For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Elliott Smith

96

Elliott Smith · 34

August 6th, 1969 - December 21st, 2003


From a basement on the hill indeed.

Hope Lange

95

Hope Lange · 70

November 28th, 1933 - December 19th, 2003


The star of The Ghost And Mrs. Muir has just changed roles.

Otto Graham

94

Otto Graham · 82

December 6th, 1921 - December 17th, 2003


In the words of the traditional Palindromic farewell ...
"Maharg, Otto Graham."

Paul Simon

93

Paul Simon · 75

November 29th, 1928 - December 9th, 2003


There goes two-timin' Simon

Gertrude Ederle

92

Gertrude Ederle · 98

October 23rd, 1905 - November 30th, 2003


She's greasing up for another crossing as we speak.

Warren Spahn

91

Warren Spahn · 82

April 23rd, 1921 - November 24th, 2003


Dead Pool veterans will doubtless remember the familiar, sing-song refrain, "Spahn and Sprague, and pray for plague."

Don Gibson

90

Don Gibson · 75

April 3rd, 1928 - November 17th, 2003


Sweet dreams, Gib.

Arthur Conley

89

Arthur Conley · 57

January 4th, 1946 - November 17th, 2003


Spotlight on rigor mortis now.

Speedy West

88

Speedy West · 79

January 25th, 1924 - November 15th, 2003


Make that south, and completely stationary.

Laurence Tisch

87

Laurence Tisch · 80

March 5th, 1923 - November 15th, 2003


Just another dead billionaire.

Penny Singleton

86

Penny Singleton · 95

September 15th, 1908 - November 12th, 2003


Dagwood's wife has lost her life.

Art Carney

85

Art Carney · 85

November 4th, 1918 - November 9th, 2003


Tragically felled by the anti-Norton virus.

Bobby Hatfield

84

Bobby Hatfield · 63

August 10th, 1940 - November 5th, 2003


He's lost all thought and feeling. The cause? Unnamed malady.

Rod Roddy

83

Rod Roddy · 66

September 28th, 1937 - October 27th, 2003


Come on down!

Madame Chiang Kai-Shek

82

Madame Chiang Kai-Shek · 106

May 3, 1897 - October 23rd, 2003


The oldest and most celebrated brothel owner in history. It's said that she once gave Confucius a hand-job.

Fred Berry

81

Fred Berry · 52

March 19th, 1951 - October 21st, 2003


Not happening!!

Jack Elam

80

Jack Elam · 82

November 13th, 1920 - October 20th, 2003


Jesus Christ! It's that goofy-lookin' old cowboy guy with the fucked up eyes, and he's been dead for more than two weeks! What the hell are you guys doing over there!?

Bill Shoemaker

79

Bill Shoemaker · 72

August 19th, 1931 - October 12th, 2003


The Shoe drops.

Wally George

78

Wally George · 71

December 4th, 1931 - October 5th, 2003


You're outta here!

Althea Gibson

77

Althea Gibson · 76

August 25th, 1927 - September 28th, 2003


'Thea later.

Elia Kazan

76

Elia Kazan · 94

September 7th, 1909 - September 28th, 2003


A tree grows in Brooklyn, and a rat bastard dies in Manhattan.

Donald O'Connor

75

Donald O'Connor · 78

August 28th, 1925 - September 27th, 2003


Ah, the highs and lows of an actor

Robert Palmer

74

Robert Palmer · 54

January 19th, 1949 - September 26th, 2003


Simply irretrievable.

George Plimpton

73

George Plimpton · 76

March 18th, 1927 - September 25th, 2003


Once again, George plays the part of participatory journalist, this time for a work entitled Paper Dyin'.

Gordon Jump

72

Gordon Jump · 71

April 1st, 1932 - September 22nd, 2003


Gordon make mistake.

Sheb Wooley

71

Sheb Wooley · 82

April 10th, 1921 - September 16th, 2003


He was a one-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
One-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
A one-hit, one-joke guy from 50 years ago,
Now he's history.

Johnny Cash

70

Johnny Cash · 71

February 26th, 1932 - September 12th, 2003


Spent (not to mention cold and hard).

John Ritter

69

John Ritter · 54

September 17th, 1948 - September 11th, 2003


We've been waiting for you (we've been waiting for you).

Edward Teller

68

Edward Teller · 95

January 15th, 1908 - September 9th, 2003


They call him the father of the hydrogen bomb. Shoulda used a condom, Eddie.

Leni Riefenstahl

67

Leni Riefenstahl · 101

August 22nd, 1902 - September 8th, 2003


Triumph this, Fraulein!

Warren Zevon

66

Warren Zevon · 56

January 24th, 1947 - September 7th, 2003


His hair was perfect.

Charles Bronson

65

Charles Bronson · 81

November 3rd, 1921 - August 30th, 2003


Wish granted.

Jinx Falkenburg

64

Jinx Falkenburg · 84

January 21st, 1919 - August 27th, 2003


Sadly, we say goodbye to one of the last, few remaining stars from the great Hanna-Barbera stable.

Bobby Bonds

63

Bobby Bonds · 57

March 15th, 1946 - August 23rd, 2003


We understand his kid is pretty good, too.

Wesley Willis

62

Wesley Willis · 40

May 31st, 1963 - August 21st, 2003


Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago,
Forest Lawn — celebrate a life!

Idi Amin

61

Idi Amin · 78

August 1st, 1925 - August 16th, 2003


Not a nice man.

Herb Brooks

60

Herb Brooks · 66

August 5th, 1937 - August 11th, 2003


Do you believe in Herbsicles? YES!

Gregory Hines

59

Gregory Hines · 57

February 14th, 1946 - August 9th, 2003


Tapped out.

Sam Phillips

58

Sam Phillips · 80

January 5th, 1923 - July 30th, 2003


Remarkably, he still managed to meet the filing deadline, and will be on the ballot in California.

Bob Hope

57

Bob Hope · 100

May 29th, 1903 - July 27th, 2003


Thanks for nothin', you useless old pile of crap.

John Schlesinger

56

John Schlesinger · 77

February 16th, 1926 - July 25th, 2003


He's goin' where the sun keeps shinin' through the pourin' rain.

Celia Cruz

55

Celia Cruz · 77

October 21st, 1925 - July 16th, 2003


Azucar!

Carol Shields

54

Carol Shields · 68

June 2nd, 1935 - July 16th, 2003


The Pulitzer-Prize winning Canadian novelist is survived and mourned by long-time mime partner Yarnell.

Tex Schramm

53

Tex Schramm · 83

June 2nd, 1920 - July 15th, 2003


Maybe he was funny-lookin' ... but he made the best damned oil filters this country's ever seen.

Benny Carter

52

Benny Carter · 95

August 8th, 1907 - July 12th, 2003


The King is dead. Long live the King.

Buddy Ebsen

51

Buddy Ebsen · 95

April 2nd, 1908 - July 6th, 2003


Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Bud,
Ninety-five and happy as a hog in the mud,
And then one day, he was chewin' on some food,
And in through the door come The Adios Dude.
Death, that is ...
Black Knight ...
Mr. D ....

Well, the first thing you know,
Bud's cryin' like a girl,
Death said, "You're the biggest pussy in the world."
Said, "Purgatory is the place you ought to be,"
So he pulled out his plug, and Buddy drew a Z.
Died, that is ...
Screwed the pooch ...
Bought the farm ....

Won't come back, now ... y'hea'

Barry White

50

Barry White · 58

September 12th, 1944 - July 4th, 2003


As we suspected, his love was NOT unlimited.

Herbie Mann

49

Herbie Mann · 73

April 16th, 1930 - July 1st, 2003


Hey, speak of the Beetle ....

N!xau

48

N!xau

July 1st, 2003


Meanwhile, the relentless Hollywood fame machine chews up, spits out, and throws away another dreamer. The gods must be completely out of their friggin' minds.

Buddy Hackett

47

Buddy Hackett · 78

August 31st, 1924 - June 30th, 2003


His best friend was a fucking Volkswagen, okay?

Katharine Hepburn

46

Katharine Hepburn · 96

May 12th, 1907 - June 29th, 2003


Death could've put the whammy on her a long time ago, if she'd just held still for a second.

Strom Thurmond

45

Strom Thurmond · 100

December 5th, 1902 - June 26th, 2003


Cigar.

Denis Thatcher

44

Denis Thatcher · 88

May 10th, 1915 - June 26th, 2003


Close, but no cigar.

Lester Maddox

43

Lester Maddox · 87

September 30th, 1915 - June 25th, 2003


Georgia's irrepressible segregationist, who defied the 1964 Civil Rights Act by chasing three black students from his restaurant with a gun. Given twenty days to desegregate, Maddox chose instead to close and sell the place, for which they made him Governor. Later, after his political career waned, he attempted to update his image by launching a nightclub comedy act with a black ex-con he had pardoned while in office. They were billed as "The Governor and the Dishwasher." We're not making this up.

Leon Uris

42

Leon Uris · 78

August 3rd, 1924 - June 21st, 2003


Exodus.

Bob Stump

41

Bob Stump · 76

April 4th, 1927 - June 20th, 2003


The Congressman (R-AZ) holds a special place in our hearts for his announcement from the House floor on June 5, 1998 that Bob Hope had died. You always were a schmuck, Stumpy, but thanks for the traffic.

Larry Doby

40

Larry Doby · 79

December 13th, 1923 - June 18th, 2003


The first name in noise reduction does it again.

Hume Cronyn

39

Hume Cronyn · 91

July 18th, 1911 - June 15th, 2003


He's been ex-Humed.

Gregory Peck

38

Gregory Peck · 87

April 5th, 1916 - June 12th, 2003


Atticus finished.

David Brinkley

37

David Brinkley

June 11th, 2003


Good night, David.

Shooby Taylor

36

Shooby Taylor · 73

September 19th, 1929 - June 4th, 2003


They called him "The Human Horn". Insert joke about getting blown here.

Freddie Blassie

35

Freddie Blassie · 85

February 8th, 1918 - June 2nd, 2003


There once was a wrestler named Blassie
Who was big and blond, sweaty and sassy
Screaming week after week
About pencil-necked geeks
Naturally, he became known as "Classy."

June Cash

34

June Cash · 73

June 23rd, 1929 - May 15th, 2003


We heard that she fell into a burning ring of fire, which sounds like a pretty rough way to go.

Robert Stack

33

Robert Stack · 84

January 13th, 1919 - May 14th, 2003


The unsolvable mystery here is how this hunk of wood kept getting work. The guy was like a marionette, for Chris'sakes.

Dave DeBusschere

32

Dave DeBusschere · 62

October 16th, 1940 - May 14th, 2003


DeCeased.

Noel Redding

31

Noel Redding · 57

December 25th, 1945 - May 12th, 2003


Are you expendable? Haven't you always been expendable?

Felice Bryant

30

Felice Bryant · 77

August 7th, 1925 - April 22nd, 2003


She's through with romance, she's through with love,
She's through with countin' the stars above,
And here's the reason that she's so free,
Boudleaux's old lady has ceased to be ....

Nina Simone

29

Nina Simone · 70

February 21st, 1933 - April 21st, 2003


Oh, what a lovely precious dream,
to be young, gifted and black,
and not dead yet.

Cholly Atkins

28

Cholly Atkins · 89

September 30th, 1913 - April 19th, 2003


Funk getting ready to roll!

J. Paul Getty, Jr.

27

J. Paul Getty, Jr. · 70

September 7th, 1932 - April 17th, 2003


See you later, Junior. Thanks for the art.

Robert Atkins

26

Robert Atkins · 72

October 17th, 1930 - April 17th, 2003


His high-protein, low-carbohydrate approach to weight loss differed radically from the conventional wisdom of the medical establishment, and was widely criticized as risky. Nevertheless, Atkins steadfastly maintained that his dietary recommendations would lead to nothing more dangerous than a diminished sense of balance. He died of injuries sustained when he fell and hit his head on the sidewalk.

Earl King

25

Earl King · 69

February 7th, 1934 - April 17th, 2003


They done put him in a trick bag.

Little Eva

24

Little Eva · 59

June 29th, 1943 - April 10th, 2003


There's never been a dance that's so easy to do.

Homer Banks

23

Homer Banks · 61

August 2nd, 1941 - April 4th, 2003


He can't stand up for falling down.

Edwin Starr

22

Edwin Starr · 61

January 21st, 1942 - March 31st, 2003


What is he good for? Absolutely nothin' (say it again).

Michael Jeter

21

Michael Jeter · 50

August 26th, 1952 - March 30th, 2003


You probably remember him from stuff like The Fisher King and The Green Mile - but what about his theatre work in Greater Tuna? No?

Daniel Moynihan

20

Daniel Moynihan · 76

March 16th, 1927 - March 26th, 2003


Necro-conservative, or necro-liberal ...?

Joseph Coors

19

Joseph Coors · 85

November 12th, 1917 - March 15th, 2003


Described by his own brother as "a little bit right of Attila the Hun," this third-generation brewing tycoon barred trade unions, fixed prices, and gave this country the affliction known as James Watt. Also, the beer sucks.

Howard Fast

18

Howard Fast · 88

November 11th, 1914 - March 11th, 2003


Actually, Howard not moving at all.

Hank Ballard

17

Hank Ballard · 75

November 18th, 1927 - March 2nd, 2003


Hey, now, hey, now, hey, now, hey, now,
it's singer (drop) droppin' time ...

Fred Rogers

16

Fred Rogers · 74

March 20th, 1928 - February 27th, 2003


There goes the neighborhood.

Tom Glazer

15

Tom Glazer · 88

September 2nd, 1914 - February 21st, 2003


The man who wrote "On Top Of Old Smoky" is all covered with dirt.

Johnny PayCheck

14

Johnny PayCheck · 64

May 31st, 1938 - February 19th, 2003


The Big Bank In The Sky has issued a stop payment.

Johnny Longden

13

Johnny Longden · 96

February 14th, 1907 - February 14th, 2003


Of course, the papers failed to mention that he lost 26,381 times.

Walt Rostow

12

Walt Rostow · 86

October 7th, 1916 - February 13th, 2003


He was hailed as one of JFK's Best and Brightest, and was also one of the chief architects of America's involvement in Vietnam. Something just doesn't add up.

Stacy Keach

11

Stacy Keach · 88

May 29th, 1914 - February 13th, 2003


Famous for developing, producing and directing radio's "Tales Of The Texas Rangers," and for having a kid with a hare-lip.

Ron Ziegler

10

Ron Ziegler · 63

May 12th, 1939 - February 10th, 2003


His third-rate heart has become inoperative.

Mongo Santamaria

9

Mongo Santamaria · 85

April 7th, 1917 - February 1st, 2003


Mongo was only pawn ... in game of life.

Nell Carter

8

Nell Carter · 54

September 13th, 1948 - January 23rd, 2003


Ain't respiratin'.

Bill Mauldin

7

Bill Mauldin · 81

October 29th, 1921 - January 22nd, 2003


Looks like his inkwell has dried up, too.

Al Hirschfeld

6

Al Hirschfeld · 99

June 21st, 1903 - January 20th, 2003


The end of the line.

Richard Crenna

5

Richard Crenna · 76

November 30th, 1926 - January 17th, 2003


How can a loser ever win?

Maurice Gibb

4

Maurice Gibb · 53

December 22nd, 1949 - January 12th, 2003


How can you mend this broken man?

Jean Kerr

3

Jean Kerr · 80

July 10th, 1922 - January 5th, 2003


Please don't eat the daisies she's pushing up.

Sid Gillman

2

Sid Gillman · 91

October 26th, 1911 - January 3rd, 2003


This Hall of Fame coach was said to have one of the most brilliant minds in football, which puts his IQ at almost 100.

Sydney Omarr

1

Sydney Omarr · 76

August 5th, 1926 - January 2nd, 2003


Do you suppose President and Nancy Reagan would have been quite so taken with the Astrologer To The Stars if they'd known his real name was Sidney Kimmelman?

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

Less than a feeling.

(d) March 9th, 2007