Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Bud,
Ninety-five and happy as a hog in the mud,
And then one day, he was chewin' on some food,
And in through the door come The Adios Dude.
Death, that is ...
Black Knight ...
Mr. D ....

Well, the first thing you know,
Bud's cryin' like a girl,
Death said, "You're the biggest pussy in the world."
Said, "Purgatory is the place you ought to be,"
So he pulled out his plug, and Buddy drew a Z.
Died, that is ...
Screwed the pooch ...
Bought the farm ....

Won't come back, now ... y'hea'

Name
Buddy Ebsen
Birthday
April 2, 1908
Age
95
Died on
Sunday, July 6th, 2003
Famous
Confirmed
Sunday, July 6th, 2003
Buddy Ebsen
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Guess the Stiff!

Dear Abby,

I think my husband is cheating on me. I keep finding little clues around the house - hotel keys, receipts for restaurants we've never been to, that sort of thing. I feel guilty even thinking it, but I have to know. Should I approach him and just ask? Or should I spy on him to find out? -- BETRAYED IN BALTIMORE

Dear Betrayed -

I'm dead.

(d) January 16th, 2013