Died December 31, 2023 · Age 97
Shecky Greene
He was funny. Mostly because his name was actually Shecky.
61 stiffs · 2023
The Stiffs
For the 32nd year running, our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on anybody’s list, or mattered at all, they’re here. Looking for everybody? Try the Directory.
Died December 28, 2023 · Age 85
Donald Wildmon
The Methodist preacher who founded the American Family Association spent half a century watching more filth than anyone in America so you wouldn’t have to. He went after Disney, NYPD Blue, Madonna’s Pepsi commercial and the Playboy rack at 7-Eleven, and wrote angry letters about all of it. Lewy body dementia took him at 85, so the last thing he forgot was who he was mad at. Heaven’s cable package is about to get a lot more restrictive.
Died December 26, 2023 · Age 86
Tommy Smothers
Bald. Played guitar. Yo yo master. Quite the ladies man.
Died December 8, 2023 · Age 82
Ryan O'Neal
Tough call on his best film here. It was either Love Story or An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn. Thoughts?
Died December 5, 2023 · Age 101
Norman Lear
Yeah - he made over 100 shows, won a pile of awards and honors, but they did NOT name that jet after him. So, yeah.
Died December 1, 2023 · Age 93
Sandra Day O’Connor
First woman on the Supreme Court, and she was replaced with Samuel Alito. How's THAT for a kick in the pants?
Died November 30, 2023 · Age 65
Shane MacGowan
And Irish singer with bad teeth. We got nothing here.
Died November 29, 2023 · Age 100
Henry Kissinger
He was the guy who said "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac". Good thing, too - because he's uglier than a mud fence.
Died November 19, 2023 · Age 96
Rosalyn Carter
She won the Presidential Medal of Freedom, is in the Women's Hall of Fame, won countless awards, and has four degrees. She was also married to some sort of politician.
Died November 7, 2023 · Age 95
Frank Borman
First guy to fly around the moon. He was offered the job to actually LAND on the moon, but he turned it down. From where we sit, that's pretty badass.
Died November 1, 2023 · Age 83
Bobby Knight
Weird that he died of a heart attack. He was such a calm, collected guy.
Died October 30, 2023 · Age 87
Frank Howard
The guy had nicknames like "Hondo", "the Washington Monument" and "the Capital Punisher". Pretty cool, considering he hurt is back on his first swing playing in the Japanese League. What a wuss.
Died October 28, 2023 · Age 54
Matthew Perry
Mental note: make sure you have Friends that know how to swim.
Died October 24, 2023 · Age 81
Richard Roundtree
They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft
(Then we can dig it)
Died October 15, 2023 · Age 76
Suzanne Somers
We can all mourn the loss of her work with Thighmaster. You thought we forgot that? Come on.
Died October 14, 2023 · Age 91
Piper Laurie
She may have been a child of a lesser God, but we really liked her twin peaks.
Died October 5, 2023 · Age 80
Dick Butkus
Instead of us writing something funny here, just read his name a few times. There you go. All done.
Died September 29, 2023 · Age 90
Dianne Feinstein
Tragically cut down in the prime of her political career. Sad.
Died August 30, 2023 · Age 90
Mohammed al Fayed
OK, OK. We get that he owned hotels and department stores and "football" clubs, but would anyone know this dud if it son wasn't with Diana? We say no. But here we are.
Died August 7, 2023 · Age 87
William Friedkin
Married four times and engaged three other times. Sheesh. Why can't we have that kind of money to throw away?
Died July 30, 2023 · Age 70
Pee Wee Herman
Just basically an actor with no scandals at all that we can find. Wait - looking again.
Nope. No scandals. All good.
Died July 11, 2023 · Age 94
Milan Kundera
The Czech novelist wrote The Unbearable Lightness of Being, a book bought by millions of college students and finished by eleven of them. He spent half a century in Paris refusing interviews, rewriting his own translations and getting tipped for the Nobel every October like a man waiting by the phone. He died at 94 without getting the call. Now he can find out exactly how light being is.
Died June 28, 2023 · Age 92
Lowell Weicker
The Republican senator from Connecticut became a Watergate hero by being the first in his party to say Nixon should go, which his party never forgave. He helped write the Americans with Disabilities Act, then went home, started his own party, got elected governor and gave Connecticut its first income tax. Few men have been hated by so many Republicans and so many Connecticut taxpayers at the same time. He died at 92.
Died June 15, 2023 · Age 87
Glenda Jackson
She won the Academy Award for Best Actress twice, and didn't show to collect either time because she had other commitments. Wow.
Died June 12, 2023 · Age 86
Silvio Berlusconi
Three-time prime minister, TV billionaire, owner of AC Milan and the only head of government to host “bunga bunga” parties and then explain them in court. He survived dozens of criminal cases, a tax-fraud conviction, a souvenir cathedral to the face and his own hair transplants, governing Italy like a cruise director with immunity. Leukemia finally convicted him at 86. His state funeral was held at Milan’s Duomo, the first party he ever attended where nobody brought a date.
Died June 10, 2023 · Age 81
Ted Kaczynski
Invitations to the memorial service will be sent promptly by mail.
Died June 4, 2023 · Age 93
Roger Craig
You know, usually, a guy involved in sports this long has something interesting that has happened to him at some point in his long life. Not this guy. Baseball. That's it.
Died May 18, 2023 · Age 87
Jim Brown
Yeah, yeah - great football player. But basically a jerk in most all other respects.
So, you know.
Died May 17, 2023 · Age 79
Superstar Billy Graham
Hre was a wrestler, with a name like a preacher, a beard like a biker, earrings like a socialite, and clothes like a circus clown. How do you not like this guy?
Died April 25, 2023 · Age 96
Harry Belafonte
Great. Now we're going to have that "Day-O" song stuck in our heads all day.
Died April 4, 2023 · Age 86
Craig Breedlove
The first man to drive 400, 500 and 600 miles an hour, in jet-powered cars he named Spirit of America. In 1964 he lost his parachutes at Bonneville, mowed down a telephone pole and landed in a brine pond, then climbed out and announced, “For my next trick, I’ll set myself on fire.” Cancer caught him at 86, the first thing in sixty years that went faster than he did.
Died March 11, 2023 · Age 95
Bud Grant
He was the first coach to lead a team to four Super Bowl appearances. And he lost all four! Hooray!
Died March 9, 2023 · Age 89
Robert Blake
Say what you want, but the guy knew his way around a Baretta.
Died February 16, 2023 · Age 81
Tim McCarver
A two-time World Series champion catcher and Steve Carlton’s personal babysitter, he spent the next two decades in the Fox booth explaining baseball to people who already understood it. Entire websites existed only to collect the things he said on air, and the Hall of Fame gave him its broadcasting award anyway. Heart failure got him at 81. Joe Buck can finally finish a sentence.
Died February 15, 2023 · Age 82
Raquel Welch
She graduated with honors from high school, went to church every Sunday, and had an absolutely amazing rack.
Died February 8, 2023 · Age 94
Burt Bacharach
"On his own"
"No more raindrops fallin on his head"
Your choice.
Died February 5, 2023 · Age 79
Pervez Musharraf
President of Pakistan who survived 14 assassination attempts. Beloved? No. Maybe not.
Died January 16, 2023 · Age 95
Gina Lollobrigida
Quite apart from being a fairly prolific actress, she was also a pretty solid person, humanitarian, and not-so-full-of-herself socialite. Also: Great Rack.
Died January 13, 2023 · Age 60
Robbie Knievel
Being Evel Knievel’s son left one career option, so in 1989 Robbie jumped the fountains at Caesars Palace, the same ones that broke his father into pieces, and actually landed it. He made more than 350 jumps and set 20 world records before his body sounded like a bag of gravel. Pancreatic cancer finally made him stick a landing at 60. He’s back with Dad, presumably both in traction.
Died January 12, 2023 · Age 54
Lisa Marie Presley
Abused in her teens, father died from drug overdose when she was 9, married 4 times (once to Nic Cage), had 4 kids and an estate worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Hard to image how she died so young.