The Stiffs for 2010

For the 30th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Agathe Von Trapp · 97

March 12th, 1913 - December 28th, 2010

Raindrops on tombstones and flowers on caskets,
Sad sobbing mourners and corpses in baskets,
Stuffed in a hole as a sad church bell rings
These are a few of our favorite things

Teena Marie · 54

March 5th, 1956 - December 26th, 2010

More peaceful than wild now.

Captain Beefheart · 69

January 15th, 1941 - December 17th, 2010

He authored legendary titles like Making Love to a Vampire with a Monkey on My Knee, '81' Poop Hatch and When I See Mommy I Feel Like a Mummy. We miss him already.

Blake Edwards · 88

July 26th, 1922 - December 16th, 2010

Bearded Walks
Bakers Dawdle
A Braked Welds

Sometimes when we can't think of anything funny to say, we just come up with anagrams for the dead guys name.

Bad Walks Deer
Dead Bark Slew

This is one of those times.

Bob Feller · 92

November 3rd, 1918 - December 15th, 2010

One dead feller.

Elizabeth Edwards · 61

July 3rd, 1949 - December 7th, 2010

Pretty sure she wouldn't have lasted this long without the support of her husband.

Don Meredith · 72

April 10th, 1938 - December 5th, 2010

Turn out the lights.

Ron Santo · 70

February 25th, 1940 - December 3rd, 2010

A baseball player, not in the Hall of Fame, with no scandals who had both his legs amputated thanks to diabetes, THIS is why someone ELSE should make up the Obits.

Leslie Nielsen · 84

February 11th, 1926 - November 28th, 2010

He died in a big white building, with patients. But that's not important right now.

Dino de Laurentiis · 91

August 8th, 1919 - November 11th, 2010

He made Manhunter, Hannibal, and Red Dragon but decided to pass on Silence of the Lambs. Good move there, Dino.

Jill Clayburgh · 66

April 30th, 1944 - November 5th, 2010

Clayburied.

Sparky Anderson · 76

February 22nd, 1934 - November 4th, 2010

Funny that they used to call him "Old Sparky". Well, kinda funny.

Maurice Lucas · 58

February 8th, 1952 - October 31st, 2010

They called him "The Greatest Portland Trailblazer of all time", which is kinda like being called "The greatest taco chef of all time".

Bob Guccione · 79

December 17th, 1930 - October 20th, 2010

From the Penthouse, straight to the basement.

Tom Bosley · 83

October 1st, 1927 - October 19th, 2010

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days. Tuesday - not so much.

Barbara Billingsley · 94

December 22nd, 1915 - October 16th, 2010

That's a lovely casket you're wearing there, Mrs. Cleaver.

Solomon Burke · 70

March 21st, 1940 - October 10th, 2010

Album names: We're almost home, Back to my Roots, Lord I need a Miracle Right Now, Take me Shake Me, A Change is Gonna Come, Don't Give up on Me, Hold on Tight. Take your pick.

Norman Wisdom · 95

February 4th, 1915 - October 4th, 2010

He was an English comedian. And you know how funny THEY are.

Tony Curtis · 85

June 3rd, 1925 - September 29th, 2010

The Sweet Smell of Success for 35 poolsters.

Arthur Penn · 88

September 27th, 1922 - September 28th, 2010

Penn Stationary.

George Blanda · 83

September 17th, 1927 - September 27th, 2010

Great football player. Ugly as a mud fence, but a great football player.

Gloria Stuart · 100

July 4th, 1910 - September 26th, 2010

She was honored TWICE in one month for a long and outstanding career. Haven't these people ever heard of The Woody Herman Phenomenon? They might as well have pushed her off a cliff.

Eddie Fisher · 82

August 10th, 1928 - September 22nd, 2010

Dumped Debbie Reynolds to marry Liz Taylor. Fucking GENIUS.

Leonard Skinner · 77

January 11th, 1933 - September 20th, 2010

Pronounced.

Kevin McCarthy · 96

February 15th, 1914 - September 11th, 2010

Snatched.

Harold Gould · 86

December 10th, 1923 - September 11th, 2010

Ghouled.

Paul Conrad · 86

June 27th, 1924 - September 4th, 2010

So long, cartoon boy.

Robert Schimmel · 60

January 16th, 1950 - September 3rd, 2010

He beat cancer and then died in a car accident. What a comedian!

Bobby Thomson · 86

October 25th, 1923 - August 17th, 2010

The shot heard round the underworld.

Edwin Newman · 91

January 25th, 1919 - August 13th, 2010

He dead today. Two bad four him.

Dan Rostenkowski · 82

January 2nd, 1928 - August 11th, 2010

Holy shit. This guy is so boring even WE can't find anything interesting to say about him. Mail fraud? Oh come ON.

Ted Stevens · 86

November 18th, 1923 - August 9th, 2010

Gone down the tubes.

Patricia Neal · 84

January 20th, 1926 - August 8th, 2010

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner now six feet under.

Mitch Miller · 99

July 4th, 1911 - July 31st, 2010

He said, "Rock and roll is musical baby food," and then went on to create Karaoke. An asshole all the way around.

Jack Tatum · 61

November 18th, 1948 - July 27th, 2010

We'll see how immaculate that reception was now.

Daniel Schorr · 93

August 31st, 1916 - July 23rd, 2010

All things considered, he's not much of a journalist anymore.

Ralph Houk · 90

August 9th, 1919 - July 21st, 2010

Totally out.

George Steinbrenner · 80

July 4th, 1930 - July 13th, 2010

For the duration of the season, Yankee players will all wear a million dollars on their sleeves as a sign of respect.

Robert Byrd · 92

November 20th, 1917 - June 28th, 2010

Now, the early worm can get the Byrd.

Manute Bol · 47

October 16th, 1962 - June 19th, 2010

So that makes up for Gary Coleman then, right?

Jimmy Dean · 81

August 10th, 1928 - June 13th, 2010

This guy's kinda like Tommy Lee in that we know more about his sausage than we do about his music.

Marvin Isley · 56

August 18th, 1953 - June 7th, 2010

A little bit softer now.

John Wooden · 99

October 14th, 1910 - June 4th, 2010

The commissioner attended UCLA. But we'll try and write something mean anyway. He was a terrible surfer.

Rue McClanahan · 76

February 21st, 1934 - June 3rd, 2010

3 down, 1 to go.

Dennis Hopper · 74

May 17th, 1936 - May 29th, 2010

Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a cancer on my prostate. Once the prostate goes above 50mph, the cancer is armed. If it drops below 50, your ex-wife takes all your money. What do you do? What do you do?

Gary Coleman · 42

February 8th, 1968 - May 28th, 2010

Ah, the intracranial hemorrhage. Those kooky little episodes that doctors sometimes refer to as "different strokes."

Art Linkletter · 97

July 17th, 1912 - May 26th, 2010

Art no longer imitates life.

Ronnie James Dio · 67

July 10th, 1942 - May 16th, 2010

Dio, eh?

Lena Horne · 92

June 30th, 1917 - May 9th, 2010

Please forward all mail to The Cabin in the Sky.

Robin Roberts · 83

September 30th, 1926 - May 6th, 2010

In his 19-season career, Roberts compiled a 286-245 record with 2,357 strikeouts, a 3.41 ERA, 305 complete games, 45 shutouts, and 4,688 innings pitched in 676 games. He holds the Major League records for home runs allowed by a pitcher (505) and for most consecutive Opening Day starts for the same team with 12, between 1950 and 1961. Also: he's dead.

Ernie Harwell · 92

January 25th, 1918 - May 4th, 2010

Long gone.

Lynn Redgrave · 67

March 8th, 1943 - May 3rd, 2010

Red, green - whatever. As long as it's a grave.

Juan Antonio Samaranch · 89

July 17th, 1920 - April 21st, 2010

Recent Winner of A Gold Medal for Morbidity

Daryl Gates · 83

August 30th, 1926 - April 16th, 2010

He was considered to be an excellent police chief in LA, except for - you know - that thing where the entire city RIOTED for several days. Thanks, Daryl.

Dixie Carter · 70

May 25th, 1939 - April 10th, 2010

Let's be clear here: Dixie Carter is NOT FAMOUS. Nobody ever played her. Nobody ever even THOUGHT about playing her. This is exactly what the Kim Perrot Renovation is for. But we are SO tired of all the "Hey! You forgot Dixie Carter!" emails, that we added her. Happy?

Anatoly Dobrynin · 90

November 16th, 1919 - April 6th, 2010

Deadski.

John Forsythe · 92

January 29th, 1918 - April 1st, 2010

Good night, Angels.

Good night, Charlie.

Herb Ellis · 88

August 4th, 1921 - March 28th, 2010

To Wonderland!

June Havoc · 96

November 8th, 1913 - March 28th, 2010

Reeking Havoc.

Robert Culp · 79

August 16th, 1930 - March 24th, 2010

Oh sure - I Spy was a big deal, but what about his voice over role in Robot Chicken? THAT was some quality work.

Stewart Udall · 90

January 31st, 1920 - March 20th, 2010

Off to the Great Swamp.

Fess Parker · 85

August 16th, 1924 - March 18th, 2010

Less Fess.

Peter Graves · 83

March 18th, 1926 - March 14th, 2010

You ever been in a casket before, Joey?

Merlin Olsen · 69

September 15th, 1940 - March 11th, 2010

14 time Pro Bowler and 1968 Pro Bowl MVP with 94 career sacks - and he'll still be remembered as a mildly retarded guy on Little House on the Prairie.

Corey Haim · 38

December 23rd, 1971 - March 10th, 2010

You know you are in trouble when Corey Feldman refuses to talk to you until you clean up your act.

Alexander Haig · 85

December 2nd, 1924 - February 20th, 2010

No longer in control.

Kathryn Grayson · 88

February 9th, 1922 - February 17th, 2010

A singing opera lady. It's over.

Dick Francis · 89

October 31st, 1920 - February 14th, 2010

A small funeral is planned.

Dale Hawkins · 73

August 22nd, 1936 - February 13th, 2010

They called him the inventor of "swamp rock boogie". Impressive.

Alexander McQueen · 40

March 17th, 1969 - February 11th, 2010

A fashion designer named McQueen. Can you believe he was gay?

Charlie Wilson · 76

June 1st, 1933 - February 10th, 2010

He won the battle but lost the..oh wait - no he didn't.

Zelda Rubinstein · 76

May 28th, 1933 - January 27th, 2010

Go into the light!

J.D. Salinger · 91

January 1st, 1919 - January 27th, 2010

Catcher in the Ground.

Howard Zinn · 87

August 24th, 1922 - January 27th, 2010

History.

Chemical Ali · 68

November 30th, 1941 - January 25th, 2010

What a lame nickname. Should have been "Colonel Mustard".

Pernell Roberts · 81

May 18th, 1928 - January 24th, 2010

Headed for the last roundup.

Jean Simmons · 80

January 31st, 1929 - January 22nd, 2010

Happy Ending.

Robert Parker · 77

September 17th, 1932 - January 18th, 2010

Case closed.

Teddy Pendergrass · 59

March 26th, 1950 - January 13th, 2010

Close The Door and Turn off the Lights.

Miep Gies · 100

February 15th, 1909 - January 11th, 2010

Most people remember her for that Anne Frank diary thing. Everyone seems to forget that she was the inspiration for the Road Runner's signature sound.

Year	Stiffs
2024	12
2023	52
2022	44
2021	56
2020	71
2019	54
2018	51
2017	65
2016	72
2015	59
2014	63
2013	68
2012	81
2011	65
2010	80
2009	65
2008	83
2007	78
2006	99
2005	84
2004	70
2003	97
2002	101
2001	99
2000	92
1999	192
1998	127
1997	119
1996	63
1995	40

Guess the Stiff!