For the 23rd year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Artie Shaw

70

Artie Shaw · 94

May 23rd, 1910 - December 30th, 2004


What the fuck is a beguine, anyway?

Jerry Orbach

69

Jerry Orbach · 69

October 20th, 1935 - December 28th, 2004


In television criminal justice, the people are represented by two-dimensional yet totally unsympathetic characters like Lennie Briscoe.

Susan Sontag

68

Susan Sontag · 71

January 16th, 1933 - December 27th, 2004


She was the smartest Oakland Raiders fan.

Reggie White

67

Reggie White · 43

December 19th, 1961 - December 26th, 2004


The defense rests.

Johnny Oates

66

Johnny Oates · 58

January 21st, 1946 - December 24th, 2004


This pretty much puts the kibosh on that "Maneater" reunion tour.

Prince Bernhard

65

Prince Bernhard · 93

June 29th, 1911 - December 1st, 2004


He was often referred to as the most charismatic member of the Dutch royal family, which is kind of like being known as the smartest Oakland Raiders fan.

John Barrymore

64

John Barrymore · 72

June 4th, 1932 - November 29th, 2004


Sounds like the past tense, doesn't it?

Russell Jones

63

Russell Jones · 35

November 15th, 1968 - November 13th, 2004


One Dead Brother.

Yasser Arafat

62

Yasser Arafat · 75

August 24th, 1929 - November 11th, 2004


Finally.

Howard Keel

61

Howard Keel · 85

April 13th, 1919 - November 7th, 2004


Dover.

Princess Alice

60

Princess Alice · 102

December 31, 1901 - October 29th, 2004


Alice is under land.

Robert Merrill

59

Robert Merrill · 87

June 4th, 1917 - October 23rd, 2004


We thought it was the fat LADY who was suposed to sing.

Pierre Salinger

58

Pierre Salinger · 79

June 14th, 1925 - October 16th, 2004


If there's anything worse than a French politician guy, it's a fake French politician guy.

Christopher Reeve

57

Christopher Reeve · 52

September 25th, 1952 - October 10th, 2004


Stiller than a bowl of fruit ....
More stationary than a granite statue ....
Able to sit in tall buildings without making a single sound ....

Rodney Dangerfield

56

Rodney Dangerfield · 82

November 22nd, 1921 - October 5th, 2004


Those wishing to pay their lack of respect may do so by not sending donations to The American Heart Association.

Gordon Cooper

55

Gordon Cooper · 77

March 6th, 1927 - October 4th, 2004


He made two separate trips in space, logging a total of 222 hours orbiting the planet, and they never once let him drive.

Janet Leigh

54

Janet Leigh · 77

July 6th, 1927 - October 3rd, 2004


There once was an actress named Janet.
Now she's dead.

Richard Avedon

53

Richard Avedon · 81

May 15th, 1923 - October 1st, 2004


He singlehandedly revolutionized fashion photography, then elevated portrait shooting to a fine art, and may very well have boned Jack and Jackie Kennedy.

Skeeter Davis

52

Skeeter Davis · 72

December 30th, 1931 - September 19th, 2004


Eradicated as part of the effort to control the West Nile virus.

Marvin Mitchelson

51

Marvin Mitchelson · 76

May 7th, 1928 - September 18th, 2004


What do you want to bet he's already getting a long-awaited, eternal ass-kicking from Lee Marvin?

Russ Meyer

50

Russ Meyer · 82

March 21st, 1922 - September 18th, 2004


Now stationed six feet beneath the Valley Of The Ultra-Vixens.

Izora Armstead

49

Izora Armstead · 62

July 6th, 1942 - September 16th, 2004


She was one half of the duo The Weather Girls, perpetrators of 1983's international dance mega-hit "It's Raining Men."
Hallelujah.

Johnny Ramone

48

Johnny Ramone · 55

October 8th, 1948 - September 15th, 2004


That's three in three years. Must be genetic.

Laura Branigan

47

Laura Branigan · 47

July 3rd, 1957 - August 26th, 2004


We couldn't think of anything for her, but then some guy named Neil wrote in, saying "She was one hot, gravel-throated, sweaty, dyke rocker," so, we're going to go with that.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

46

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross · 78

July 8th, 1926 - August 24th, 2004


It's okay, she knows what she's doing.

Elmer Bernstein

45

Elmer Bernstein · 82

April 4th, 1922 - August 18th, 2004


Apparently, he dabbled in movie music, but he'll forever be remembered for creating that kick-ass glue.

Julia Child

44

Julia Child · 91

August 15th, 1912 - August 13th, 2004


Stick a fork in her.

Gypsy Boots

43

Gypsy Boots · 89

August 19th, 1914 - August 8th, 2004


There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy ...

Fay Wray

42

Fay Wray · 96

September 15th, 1907 - August 8th, 2004


That should put an end to all that goddamned screaming.

Red Adair

41

Red Adair · 89

June 18th, 1915 - August 7th, 2004


The world's most celebrated oil-well firefighter has been extinguished.

Rick James

40

Rick James · 56

February 1st, 1948 - August 6th, 2004


"Give It To Me Baby" is such a catchy little groove, it almost makes you forget that he did time for tying up one woman and burning her with a crack pipe, and for beating another woman while she was kept bound for 12 hours. Nice hair, too.

Henri Cartier-Bresson

39

Henri Cartier-Bresson · 95

August 22nd, 1908 - July 31st, 2004


French photographer guy.

Francis Crick

38

Francis Crick · 88

June 8th, 1916 - July 28th, 2004


Q: What comes after DNA?
A: DOA.

Thelma Bugbee

37

Thelma Bugbee · 93

July 2nd, 1911 - July 26th, 2004


She was better known as "Auntie Thelma," but what fun is that?

Cotton Fitzsimmons

36

Cotton Fitzsimmons · 72

October 7th, 1931 - July 24th, 2004


No more Suns for him.

Isabel Sanford

35

Isabel Sanford · 86

August 29th, 1917 - July 12th, 2004


She's a-movin' on in (movin' on in) to the hillside ....

Laurance Rockefeller

34

Laurance Rockefeller · 94

May 26th, 1910 - July 11th, 2004


Richer than fuck, but dead.

Marlon Brando

33

Marlon Brando · 80

April 3rd, 1924 - July 2nd, 2004


Consider that grocery bill paid in full.

Ray Charles

32

Ray Charles · 73

September 23rd, 1930 - June 10th, 2004


God bless Brother Ray, and the music he made, but he's busted.
The booze and the brown made his liver shut down, and he's busted.

Ronald Reagan

31

Ronald Reagan · 93

February 6th, 1911 - June 5th, 2004


We begin embalming in five minutes.

William Manchester

30

William Manchester · 82

April 1st, 1922 - June 1st, 2004


Billy's history.

Archibald Cox

29

Archibald Cox · 92

May 17th, 1912 - May 29th, 2004


Quite an interesting choice for a man going into politics, but Archie decided to keep the name he'd used throughout his porno career.

Elvin Jones

28

Elvin Jones · 76

September 9th, 1927 - May 18th, 2004


Maybe now he'll stop fucking banging on everything in sight! Sheesh.

Tony Randall

27

Tony Randall · 84

February 26th, 1920 - May 17th, 2004


He fathered his first child at the age of 77, and then did it again when he was 79.

Felix ...?

Alan King

26

Alan King · 76

December 26th, 1927 - May 9th, 2004


The king is dead. What a schmuck.

Barney Kessel

25

Barney Kessel · 80

October 17th, 1923 - May 6th, 2004


This jazz and studio guitar great played on hundreds of recordings including Phil Spector's "River Deep-Mountain High" and "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'," Julie London's "Cry Me A River," and many of the Coasters' hits and was known for beig one of the weirdest dudes in the business.

Clement Dodd

24

Clement Dodd · 72

January 26th, 1932 - May 4th, 2004


Coxsone inna doornail stylee.

Hubert Selby

23

Hubert Selby · 75

July 23rd, 1928 - April 26th, 2004


Let's see you write your way out of this one, you little freak.

Estee Lauder

22

Estee Lauder · 97

July 1st, 1906 - April 24th, 2004


See-u-latered.

Alistair Cooke

21

Alistair Cooke · 95

November 20th, 1908 - March 30th, 2004


Following a somber, yet tasteful cremation ceremony, Sir Alistair's remains are to be placed in a very elegant urn, and then featured as the host of Mantelpiece Theater.

Peter Ustinov

20

Peter Ustinov · 82

April 16th, 1921 - March 28th, 2004


Peter used to do a lot of things, but not anymore.

Jan Berry

19

Jan Berry · 62

April 3rd, 1941 - March 26th, 2004


Okay, so, now there's, like, 2.000000001 girls for every boy.

Edmund Sylvers

18

Edmund Sylvers · 47

January 25th, 1957 - March 11th, 2004


The lead singer on "Boogie Fever" has finally succumbed to the disease.

Mercedes McCambridge

17

Mercedes McCambridge · 87

March 16th, 1916 - March 2nd, 2004


She provided the voice of the possessed Regan in The Exorcist, and is now sucking cocks in hell.

Marge Schott

16

Marge Schott · 75

August 18th, 1928 - March 2nd, 2004


Her wad.

Carl Anderson

15

Carl Anderson · 58

February 27th, 1945 - February 23rd, 2004


Poor old Carl. So long Carl.

Jan Miner

14

Jan Miner · 86

October 15th, 1917 - February 15th, 2004


Embalming fluid? Madge is soaking in it.

Preston Love

13

Preston Love · 82

April 26th, 1921 - February 12th, 2004


This is one of those cases where a picture is worth at least a thousand words.

Elroy Hirsch

12

Elroy Hirsch · 80

June 17th, 1923 - January 28th, 2004


Now known as Elroy 'Fertilizerlegs' Hirsch.

Jack Paar

11

Jack Paar · 85

May 1st, 1918 - January 27th, 2004


Insert golf joke here.

Bob Keeshan

10

Bob Keeshan · 76

June 27th, 1927 - January 23rd, 2004


Nice hair, Captain.

Ann Miller

9

Ann Miller · 80

April 12th, 1923 - January 22nd, 2004


The star of On The Town and The Thrill Of Brazil
is lying under ground, and she's keeping very still.

Billy May

8

Billy May · 87

November 10th, 1916 - January 22nd, 2004


Then again, he may not.

Uta Hagen

7

Uta Hagen · 84

June 12th, 1919 - January 14th, 2004


Hagen dies.

Ron O'Neal

6

Ron O'Neal · 66

September 1st, 1937 - January 14th, 2004


The only game he knew was do or die.

Randy VanWarmer

5

Randy VanWarmer · 48

March 30th, 1955 - January 12th, 2004


Just when we needed him least.

Spalding Gray

4

Spalding Gray · 62

June 5th, 1941 - January 10th, 2004


Cambodia, feh! He couldn't even get out of the East River.

Brother Boniface Schnitzbauer

3

Brother Boniface Schnitzbauer · 96

January 3rd, 1908 - January 7th, 2004


Yes, the same Brother Boniface who gave us the cookbook classic, "Baking with Brother Boniface."

Francesco Scavullo

2

Francesco Scavullo · 82

January 16th, 1921 - January 6th, 2004


Say cheese!

Tug McGraw

1

Tug McGraw · 59

August 30th, 1944 - January 5th, 2004


Ya gotta bereave!

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

Cigars for everyone!

(d) November 25th, 2016