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Colonel Tom Parker
BornJun 26, 1909
DiedJan 21, 1997
Age87
Stiff · January 21, 1997

Colonel Tom Parker

Born Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk

Does this mean a whole new rash of idiots who can't accept reality will report seeing this guy pumping gas?

The Stiffs.com obituary

In the 2026 game

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Famous
Yes, confirmed January 21, 1997
Also known as
Colonel Tom Parker
Thomas Andrew Parker
Tom Parker
Tags
manager, music

Guess the stiff · died 2007

Can't say we're gonna miss this guy too much.