For the 24th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Choose any date combination:      
Kofi Annan

34

Kofi Annan · 80

April 8th, 1938 - August 18th, 2018


Even winning the Nobel wasn't enough to rank him higher than Boutros Boutros-Ghali in the list of all-time great United Nations Secretary-General names.

Aretha Franklin

33

Aretha Franklin · 76

March 25th, 1942 - August 16th, 2018


C-R-O-A-K-E-D!

Stan Mikita

32

Stan Mikita · 78

May 20th, 1940 - August 7th, 2018


Blackhawk Down

Charlotte Rae

31

Charlotte Rae · 92

April 22nd, 1926 - August 5th, 2018


Email 957 from today:

"Oh! I know! The Facts Of Death! That's the obit!"

Genius. Yeah. Thanks.

Tab Hunter

30

Tab Hunter · 86

July 11th, 1931 - July 8th, 2018


If you're a closeted gay Hollywood heartthrob, you just can't stick with Arthur Kelm.

Harlan Ellison

29

Harlan Ellison · 84

May 27th, 1934 - June 28th, 2018


He was an award-winning science fiction writer who frequently sued studios for stealing his work. James Cameron hated him, so he couldn't have been that bad.

Joe Jackson (Michaels Dad)

28

Joe Jackson (Michaels Dad) · 89

July 26th, 1928 - June 27th, 2018


Whereas Michael just looked KINDA weird, Joe was actually SCARY weird looking. That's saying something.

Anthony Bourdain

27

Anthony Bourdain · 61

June 25th, 1956 - June 8th, 2018


Reservations for one, actually.

Red Schoendienst

26

Red Schoendienst · 95

February 2nd, 1923 - June 6th, 2018


"Mr. Cardinal" ended up working for the Cards for 74 years - right up until the day he died. That's quite a retirement plan there, Red.

Joseph Campanella

25

Joseph Campanella · 93

November 21st, 1924 - May 16th, 2018


He had 7 kids - all boys - and lived to be 93. If you figure out how he pulled that off, let us know.

Tom Wolfe

24

Tom Wolfe · 87

March 2nd, 1931 - May 14th, 2018


He wrote The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, The Bonfire of the Vanities, and The Right Stuff, which are really all just stories about a bunch of crazy people.

Margot Kidder

23

Margot Kidder · 69

October 17th, 1948 - May 13th, 2018


Not kidding.

George Deukmejian

22

George Deukmejian · 89

June 6th, 1928 - May 8th, 2018


The Duke. Another politician with no scandals section, so we can't write anything funny or insulting about him. Good news: in a few years, THAT will not be a problem.

Verne Troyer

21

Verne Troyer · 49

January 1st, 1969 - April 21st, 2018


Needed help with depression and alcohol abuse. Came up a little short.

Barbara Bush

20

Barbara Bush · 92

June 8th, 1925 - April 17th, 2018


She gave birth to George W. AND Jeb. Thanks a pantload, Barb.

Art Bell

19

Art Bell · 72

June 17th, 1945 - April 13th, 2018


If you are a fan of complete WHACKJOBS, this is a huge loss.

Miloš Forman

18

Miloš Forman · 86

February 18th, 1932 - April 13th, 2018


Dobře placená procházka was WAY better than One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Disagree with us. WE WILL FIGHT YOU.

Mitzi Shore

17

Mitzi Shore · 87

July 25th, 1930 - April 11th, 2018


You’d think someone who ran a comedy store could come up with a better name for her daughter than Sandy.

Susan Anspach

16

Susan Anspach · 75

November 23rd, 1942 - April 2nd, 2018


Everyone remembers Five Easy Pieces, but what about The Last Giraffe? What was wrong with that?

Winnie Mandela

15

Winnie Mandela · 81

September 26th, 1936 - April 2nd, 2018


Nelson Mandela managed to make it through 27 years in prison, but could only handle 2 years married to Winnie once he was out. Not sure what all that means, but it can't be good.

Stephen Hawking

14

Stephen Hawking · 76

January 8th, 1942 - March 13th, 2018


Say what you want about that crazy wheelchair and weird robot voice - this guy got ALL the chicks.

Roger Bannister

13

Roger Bannister · 88

March 23rd, 1929 - March 3rd, 2018


It took considerably longer than four minutes to think of this obituary.

Nanette Fabray

12

Nanette Fabray · 97

October 27th, 1920 - February 22nd, 2018


There are few things less inspiring than scandal-free elderly celebrities.

Billy Graham

11

Billy Graham · 99

November 7th, 1918 - February 21st, 2018


He's number 7 on Gallup's List of the Most Admired People of the 20th Century - one spot ahead of the Pope. That's gotta piss SOMEBODY off.

Marty Allen

10

Marty Allen · 95

March 23rd, 1922 - February 12th, 2018


Most people know him as "The Darling of Daytime TV", but fewer people know him by his other nickname - "The Freak with the Weird Hairdo".

Vic Damone

9

Vic Damone · 89

June 12th, 1928 - February 11th, 2018


Tzena, Tzena, Tzena.

John Gavin

8

John Gavin · 86

April 8th, 1931 - February 9th, 2018


His first big break was Imitation of Life. So, um, yeah.

Wally Moon

7

Wally Moon · 87

April 3rd, 1930 - February 9th, 2018


He batted left-handed and threw right-handed - which explains why he didn't have a free hand to take care of that uni-brow.

John Mahoney

6

John Mahoney · 77

June 20th, 1940 - February 5th, 2018


Good. Now we can finally throw out that stupid chair.

Ursula LeGuin

5

Ursula LeGuin · 88

October 21st, 1929 - January 22nd, 2018


She was made famous in 2000, back when we thought that just letting anyone submit anything that anyone anywhere had ever heard of, ever. Yeah. We stopped doing that.

Connie Sawyer

4

Connie Sawyer · 105

November 27th, 1912 - January 20th, 2018


They called her "The Clown Princess of Comedy". Yeah. She was hysterical.

Keith Jackson

3

Keith Jackson · 89

October 18th, 1928 - January 13th, 2018


Something about Nellie goes here. Hey Nellie? Go Nellie? Run, nellie, run? Something like that.

Doug Harvey

2

Doug Harvey · 87

March 13th, 1930 - January 13th, 2018


He was a silver-haired MLB umpire -- nicknamed "God" -- from the days when the Fame Committee was comprised nearly entirely of total dorks.

Jerry Van Dyke

1

Jerry Van Dyke · 86

July 27th, 1931 - January 5th, 2018


Tough life when you always have to play second fiddle to a Dick.

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

GOD TO MAYOR: DROP DEAD.

(d) February 10th, 2001