Peter Gabriel

Peter Gabriel · 71

(b) Feb 13th, 1950

Saadi Gaddafi

Saadi Gaddafi · 48

(b) May 25th, 1973





Valentino Garavani

Valentino Garavani · 89

(b) May 11th, 1932

Art Garfunkel

Art Garfunkel · 79

(b) Nov 5th, 1941



Bill Gates

Bill Gates · 65

(b) Oct 28th, 1955



Frank Gehry

Frank Gehry · 92

(b) Feb 28th, 1929


Gil Gerard

Gil Gerard · 78

(b) Jan 23rd, 1943



Robert Gibbs

Robert Gibbs · 50

(b) Mar 29th, 1971


Gabrielle Giffords

Gabrielle Giffords · 51

(b) Jun 8th, 1970

Mickey Gilley

Mickey Gilley · 85

(b) Mar 9th, 1936




Danny Glover

Danny Glover · 75

(b) Jul 22nd, 1946



Bobcat Goldthwait

Bobcat Goldthwait · 59

(b) Mar 26th, 1962

Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez · 29

(b) Jul 22nd, 1992




Al Gore

Al Gore · 73

(b) Mar 31st, 1948



Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert Gottfried · 66

(b) Feb 28th, 1955

Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace · 61

(b) Oct 23rd, 1959

Topher Grace

Topher Grace · 43

(b) Jul 12th, 1978


Superstar Billy Graham

Superstar Billy Graham · 78

(b) Jun 7th, 1943

Lou Gramm

Lou Gramm · 71

(b) May 2nd, 1950



Sammy Gravano

Sammy Gravano · 76

(b) Mar 12th, 1945

Linda Gray

Linda Gray · 81

(b) Sep 12th, 1940



Cee Green

Cee Green · 46

(b) May 30th, 1975

Seth Green

Seth Green · 47

(b) Feb 8th, 1974


Alan Greenspan

Alan Greenspan · 95

(b) Mar 6th, 1926

Wayne Gretzky

Wayne Gretzky · 60

(b) Jan 26th, 1961


Rosey Grier

Rosey Grier · 89

(b) Jul 14th, 1932



Robert Griffin III

Robert Griffin III · 31

(b) Feb 12th, 1990

Warren G

Warren G · 50

(b) Nov 10th, 1970


John Grisham

John Grisham · 66

(b) Feb 8th, 1955

Matt Groening

Matt Groening · 67

(b) Feb 15th, 1954


Bear Grylls

Bear Grylls · 47

(b) Jun 7th, 1974

Christopher Guest

Christopher Guest · 73

(b) Feb 5th, 1948


Bryant Gumbel

Bryant Gumbel · 73

(b) Sep 29th, 1948

Arlo Guthrie

Arlo Guthrie · 74

(b) Jul 10th, 1947


Björk

Björk · 55

(b) Nov 21st, 1965


Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal · 40

(b) Dec 19th, 1980

 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998