Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf · 38

(b) Jun 11th, 1986

Diane Ladd

Diane Ladd · 88

(b) Nov 29th, 1935




Nathan Lane

Nathan Lane · 68

(b) Feb 3rd, 1956

Artie Lange

Artie Lange · 56

(b) Oct 11th, 1967


Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper · 71

(b) Jun 22nd, 1953


Taylor Lautner

Taylor Lautner · 32

(b) Feb 11th, 1992


Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne · 39

(b) Sep 27th, 1984

Steve Lavin

Steve Lavin · 60

(b) Sep 4th, 1964






Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart · 61

(b) Nov 28th, 1962

Donovan

Donovan · 78

(b) May 10th, 1946


Jay Leno

Jay Leno · 74

(b) Apr 28th, 1950


Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar · 47

(b) Jul 12th, 1977


David Letterman

David Letterman · 77

(b) Apr 12th, 1947

Harvey Levin

Harvey Levin · 74

(b) Sep 2nd, 1950

Eugene Levy

Eugene Levy · 77

(b) Dec 17th, 1946








Dina Lohan

Dina Lohan · 61

(b) Sep 15th, 1962

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan · 38

(b) Jul 2nd, 1986

Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan · 64

(b) Apr 25th, 1960




Greg Louganis

Greg Louganis · 64

(b) Jan 29th, 1960


Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato · 32

(b) Aug 20th, 1992

Jim Lovell

Jim Lovell · 96

(b) Mar 25th, 1928


George Lucas

George Lucas · 80

(b) May 14th, 1944


Joan Lunden

Joan Lunden · 73

(b) Sep 19th, 1950


David Lynch

David Lynch · 78

(b) Jan 20th, 1946

Jane Lynch

Jane Lynch · 64

(b) Jul 14th, 1960


 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998