The 2023 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool

EXIT STAGE DEATH

Submitted by People Meat on December 31, 2022.

Score

2hits so far

14tiebreaker points

Paidin the game

The picks

Pts	Celebrity	Died	Age
10	Mel BrooksAlive	Alive	100
9	Henry Kissinger hitNov 29, 2023	Nov 29, 2023	100
8	Dick Van DykeAlive	Alive	100
7	Sophia LorenAlive	Alive	?
6	Celine DionAlive	Alive	58
5	Bob Barker hitAug 26, 2023	Aug 26, 2023	99
4	Jimmy CarterDec 29, 2024	Dec 29, 2024	100
3	Al RokerAlive	Alive	?
2	Liza MinnelliAlive	Alive	80
1	Kim Jong-unAlive	Alive	43

Hits count only when the death falls inside the game. Points break ties: #1 on the list is worth 10, #10 is worth 1.

Guess the stiff · died 1998

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.