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This list was submitted by OneHungLow on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013 at 10:42 AM PST for The 2014 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

This list is in the 2014MortgageHell Boneyard.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Prince PhilipApril 9th, 202199
9Pope Benedict XVIDecember 31st, 202295
8Mary Tyler MooreJanuary 25th, 201780
7Dick Van DykeAlive99
6Valerie HarperAugust 30th, 201980
5Not Famous 
4Randy TravisAlive66
3Philip Seymour Hoffman February 2nd, 201446
2Michael SchumacherAlive56
1Frankie MunizAlive39
3 points 1 hit 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999