Celebrities dying in threes: The Big Myth

Every time you talk to someone about the fun that IS deadpoolery, there are always 3 questions:

  1. 1.  Isn’t that kind of morbid?  (Answer:  Yes)
  2. 2.  Why are you so handsome? (Answer:  I just am)
  3. 3.  Why do celebrities always die in threes?

That last one just bugs us over here at the stiffs.complex.  Let’s summarize:  they don’t.  Celebrities die ALL THE TIME – that’s what makes this game so damned much fun.  Just go look at the list of dead celebs for this year so far – it’s a treasure trove of corpses, ALL THE TIME.

Now look – we;re not saying that we don’t see interesting things.  Sometimes will be 2, 3, 4, even 5 of the same TYPE of celebrity dying in short order.  Sometimes we’ll see 3 authors go all at once, and call it a “writer trifecta” or 4 politicians in a row will be a “storm of windbags”, or 3 socialites will die in 2 days and we’ll call that “a gift to all mankind”.  But no – they don’t go in threes.

On average we get about 80 stiffs (once that qualify as actual celebrities, that is) a year. On average, that is one every 4.56 days.  Sometimes we’ll get lucky, and get one a day for 6 days straight.  Sometimes we go 20 days without any, and then they just drop like famous little flies.  Either way – they’re going all the time.

So the next time you hear someone say “Yep!  They always die in threes!”, just say “You’re an idiot” – and walk away.  Trust us.  It’s easier.

3 thoughts on “Celebrities dying in threes: The Big Myth

  1. Chicago Jake

    Thank you! I’ve had this discussion with many a death-watching dilettante. I always tell them, “If you think celebrities only die in threes, you just aren’t paying attention!”

    Reply

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