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This list was submitted by rogalinski on Thursday, December 31st, 2015 at 5:20 AM PST for The 2016 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Jerry LewisAugust 20th, 201791
9Ronnie HawkinsMay 29th, 202287
8Garrison KeillorAlive?
7Michael SchumacherAlive57
6Clive JamesNovember 24th, 201980
5Gordie Howe June 10th, 201688
4Buddy Ryan June 28th, 201685
3Carol ChanningJanuary 15th, 201997
2Pope Benedict XVIDecember 31st, 202295
1Pope FrancisApril 21st, 202588
9 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999