Share on Twitter Share on Facebook

This list was submitted by Starwanderer on Monday, December 31st, 2001 at 9:44 PM PST for The 2002 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Bob HopeJuly 27th, 2003100
9John Gotti June 10th, 2002?
8Elisabeth Kubler-RossAugust 24th, 200478
7Sarah BradyApril 3rd, 201573
6Ronnie BiggsDecember 18th, 201384
5George KennanMarch 17th, 2005101
4Leon AskinJune 3rd, 200597
3Joe Bonnano May 11th, 2002?
2Madame Chiang Kai-ShekOctober 23rd, 2003106
1Osama bin LadenMay 2nd, 201154
12 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998