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This list was submitted by Grim Rapper on Friday, June 4th, 1999 at 10:37 AM PDT for The June '99 Lee Jr..

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Elizabeth Bowes-LyonMarch 30th, 200294
9Max SchmelingFebruary 2nd, 200599
8Pope John Paul IIApril 2nd, 200584
7Leni RiefenstahlSeptember 8th, 2003101
6John Lee HookerJune 21st, 200183
5Lionel HamptonAugust 31st, 200294
4Pee Wee Reese August 14th, 199981
3Maurice RichardMay 27th, 200078
2Annette FunicelloApril 8th, 201370
1Matt Hartl August 30th, 199923
5 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998