This list was submitted by tmdoom on Monday, June 30th, 2014 at 11:20 AM PDT for The Mohamed Abdelwahab Memorial Three Bagger.
| Points | Celebrity | Date of Death | Age |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | David Hasselhoff | Alive | 74 |
| 9 | Aaron Hernandez | April 19th, 2017 | 27 |
| 8 | Pete Rose | September 30th, 2024 | 83 |
| 7 | Joan Rivers | September 4th, 2014 | 81 |
| 6 | Clint Eastwood | Alive | 96 |
| 5 | O.J. Simpson | April 10th, 2024 | 76 |
| 4 | Joan Kennedy | Alive | ? |
| 3 | Shia LaBeouf | Alive | 40 |
| 2 | George H.W. Bush | November 30th, 2018 | 94 |
| 1 | Tim Curry | Alive | ? |
| 7 points | 1 hit |
The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!
(d) March 8th, 1999