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This list was submitted by Loki on Tuesday, December 29th, 1998 at 9:51 AM PST for The 1999 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Joe DiMaggio March 8th, 199984
9Senor Wences April 20th, 1999103
8Elizabeth Bowes-LyonMarch 30th, 200294
7Bob HopeJuly 27th, 2003100
6Max SchmelingFebruary 2nd, 200599
5Al HirschfeldJanuary 20th, 200399
4Madame Chiang Kai-ShekOctober 23rd, 2003106
3John GielgudMay 21st, 200096
2Barbara CartlandMay 21st, 200098
1Strom ThurmondJune 26th, 2003100
19 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998