Share on Twitter Share on Facebook

This list was submitted by PIANOGIRL on Tuesday, December 30th, 2008 at 9:38 PM PST for The 2009 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Betty FordJuly 8th, 201193
9Dolores HopeSeptember 19th, 2011102
8Nancy ReaganMarch 6th, 201694
7Karl Malden July 1st, 200997
6Mitch MillerJuly 31st, 201099
5Billy GrahamFebruary 21st, 201899
4Ted Kennedy August 25th, 200977
3John ForsytheApril 1st, 201092
2Art LinkletterMay 26th, 201097
1Wilford BrimleyAugust 1st, 202085
11 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998