The 2005 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool

Cripplers3

Submitted by USER02249 on December 31, 2004.

Score

1hit so far

6tiebreaker points

Paidin the game

The picks

Pts	Celebrity	Died	Age
10	Ernest BorgnineJul 8, 2012	Jul 8, 2012	95
9	Earl ScruggsMar 28, 2012	Mar 28, 2012	88
8	Dick ClarkApr 18, 2012	Apr 18, 2012	82
7	Dick CheneyNov 3, 2025	Nov 3, 2025	84
6	William Rehnquist hitSep 3, 2005	Sep 3, 2005	80
5	J.D. SalingerJan 27, 2010	Jan 27, 2010	91
4	Little Jimmy DickensJan 2, 2015	Jan 2, 2015	94
3	Osama bin LadenMay 2, 2011	May 2, 2011	54
2	Peter O'TooleDec 14, 2013	Dec 14, 2013	81
1	Ray BradburyJun 6, 2012	Jun 6, 2012	91

Hits count only when the death falls inside the game. Points break ties: #1 on the list is worth 10, #10 is worth 1.

Guess the stiff · died 1998

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.