The 2013 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool

Live and Let Die

Submitted by Radler on December 30, 2012. Part of the The FUNeral World boneyard.

Score

3hits so far

23tiebreaker points

Paidin the game

The picks

Pts	Celebrity	Died	Age
10	Nelson Mandela hitDec 5, 2013	Dec 5, 2013	95
9	Kirk DouglasFeb 5, 2020	Feb 5, 2020	103
8	Aretha FranklinAug 16, 2018	Aug 16, 2018	76
7	Mikhail Kalashnikov hitDec 23, 2013	Dec 23, 2013	94
6	Hugo Chavez hitMar 5, 2013	Mar 5, 2013	58
5	George H.W. BushNov 30, 2018	Nov 30, 2018	94
4	Chuck YeagerDec 7, 2020	Dec 7, 2020	97
3	Run Run ShawJan 6, 2014	Jan 6, 2014	106
2	I.M. PeiMay 16, 2019	May 16, 2019	102
1	Sid CaesarFeb 12, 2014	Feb 12, 2014	91

Hits count only when the death falls inside the game. Points break ties: #1 on the list is worth 10, #10 is worth 1.

Guess the stiff · died 1998

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.