The 1999 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool

Kellster 1

Submitted by Kellster on December 28, 1998.

Score

4hits so far

19tiebreaker points

Paidin the game

The picks

Pts	Celebrity	Died	Age
10	Joe DiMaggio hitMar 8, 1999	Mar 8, 1999	84
9	Not famous
8	Not famous
7	Shane MacGowanNov 30, 2023	Nov 30, 2023	65
6	Ellen Corby hitApr 14, 1999	Apr 14, 1999	87
5	Vaclav HavelDec 18, 2011	Dec 18, 2011	75
4	John GielgudMay 21, 2000	May 21, 2000	96
3	Osama bin LadenMay 2, 2011	May 2, 2011	54
2	Kathryn Schoonover hitMar 25, 1999	Mar 25, 1999	50
1	Pee Wee Reese hitAug 14, 1999	Aug 14, 1999	81

Hits count only when the death falls inside the game. Points break ties: #1 on the list is worth 10, #10 is worth 1.

Guess the stiff · died 1998

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.