Share on Twitter Share on Facebook

This list was submitted by Bird on Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 at 6:49 PM PST for The 2010 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Ernie Harwell May 4th, 201092
9George Steinbrenner July 13th, 201080
8Elizabeth Edwards December 7th, 201061
7Seve BallesterosMay 7th, 201154
6Mitch Miller July 31st, 201099
5Miep Gies January 11th, 2010100
4Dolores HopeSeptember 19th, 2011102
3Run Run ShawJanuary 6th, 2014106
2John Wooden June 4th, 201099
1Luise RainerDecember 30th, 2014104
40 points 6 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998