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This list was submitted by PIANOGIRL on Sunday, December 31st, 2006 at 12:15 PM PST for The 2007 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Jane Wyman September 10th, 200790
9Jack Klugman December 24th, 201290
8Kitty Carlisle April 17th, 200796
7Mitch MillerJuly 31st, 201099
6Sunny von BulowDecember 6th, 200877
5Louis JourdanFebruary 14th, 201593
4Andy GriffithJuly 3rd, 201286
3Phyllis DillerAugust 20th, 201295
2Ingmar Bergman July 30th, 200789
1Kirk DouglasFebruary 5th, 2020103
20 points 3 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998