DePressED 2 — Stiffs.com

Points	Celebrity	Date of Death	Age
10	Warren Zevon	September 7th, 2003	56
9	Carol Shields	July 16th, 2003	68
8	Larry Doby	June 18th, 2003	79
7	Lester Maddox	June 25th, 2003	87
6	Johnny Longden	February 14th, 2003	96
5	John Mills	April 23rd, 2005	97
4	Ronnie Hawkins	May 29th, 2022	87
3	Barney Kessel	May 6th, 2004	80
2	Ronald Reagan	June 5th, 2004	93
1	Hans Bethe	March 6th, 2005	98
40 points		5 hits

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999