Alan Alda has been played on 169 lists, including 17 lists in The 2023 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.
| List | User | Stiffs | Points | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | A Tisket, A Casket | Ded Yet?? | 4 | 32 |
| 2. | Kill 'Em All, Let Xenu Sort 'Em Out | Dr Drunk | 3 | 25 |
| 3. | JMD - Dirt Nap Decathlon | Mr Wonderful | 3 | 22 |
| 4. | Skunkhair 2023 #1 | Skunkhair 2013 | 3 | 22 |
| 5. | Kiss of Death | rhook913 | 3 | 19 |
| 6. | TG 2023 Stiffs | Taz90 | 3 | 18 |
| 7. | Leftovers TWO | Bunn's Bones To Be | 3 | 15 |
| 8. | The Woke Mob | calickizzle | 2 | 18 |
| 9. | Backup plan | sureiscoldinhere | 2 | 10 |
| 10. | Movin on up to the sky | Chris Goulart | 1 | 10 |
| 11. | No Hippies Allowed | No Hippies | 1 | 10 |
| 12. | If you're gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair | Jleetz | 1 | 8 |
| 13. | Do It and Decrease the Surplus Population | Twisted Freak | 1 | 5 |
| 14. | Old fat and dumb | Chris Goulart | 1 | 5 |
| 15. | Death Comes Ripping | Dr Drunk | 1 | 4 |
| 16. | Croak and Dagger | CPRandAED | 0 | 0 |
| 17. | Dying to get OUT | Chris Goulart | 0 | 0 |
"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.
(d) May 14th, 1998