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This list was submitted by Fry's Crematorium on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013 at 8:03 PM PST for The 2014 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Sam SimonMarch 8th, 201559
9Herman WoukMay 18th, 2019103
8Gene Gene the Dancing MachineMarch 13th, 201582
7Buddy RyanJune 28th, 201685
6 Zsa Zsa GaborDecember 18th, 201699
5James Garner July 19th, 201486
4Run Run Shaw January 6th, 2014106
3Billy GrahamFebruary 21st, 201899
2Valerie HarperAugust 30th, 201980
1Eli Wallach June 24th, 201498
10 points 3 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999