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This list was submitted by Janeguy on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003 at 9:16 AM PST for The 2004 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Annette FunicelloApril 8th, 201370
9Ronald Reagan June 5th, 200493
8Sid CaesarFebruary 12th, 201491
7Lady Bird JohnsonJuly 11th, 200794
6Nanette FabrayFebruary 22nd, 201897
5Louis NyeOctober 9th, 200592
4Deborah KerrOctober 16th, 200786
3Ralph EdwardsNovember 16th, 200592
2Sharon OsbourneAlive?
1Jerry HermanAlive?
9 points 1 hit 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998