Newest Stiffs

Joseph Paterno
Dec 21, 1926 - Jan 22, 2012
Nothing will overshadow the fact that he was the winningest coach in major college football history.
Wait. What? Seriously?

Etta James
Jan 25, 1938 - Jan 20, 2012
We know what you're expecting us to write here, but guess what: no go. It's just too easy, and besides - she kicked her drug habit 20+ years ago, and only got sick about a year ago. So now will you leave us alone about it - At Last?

Ioannis Veliotes
Dec 28, 1921 - Jan 17, 2012
Wikipedia says, "In 1969 he recorded an album of sexually explicit material under the name 'Snatch and the Poontangs'." That's good enough for us.

William Janklow
Sep 13, 1939 - Jan 12, 2012
He was a dubious politician convicted of vehicular manslaughter who had brain cancer. Are we sure he wasn't a Kennedy?

Johannes Heesters
Dec 5, 1903 - Dec 24, 2011
Some of his big hits were "Liebling, was wird nun aus uns beiden", "Ich werde jede Nacht von ihnen träumen", and "Tausendmal möchte' ich dich küssen" - all of which translate into "I'm a fucking Nazi".

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Today's Celebrity Birthdays

Mohammed al Fayed
Jan 27, 1933
79 years old today
Troy Donahue
Jan 27, 1936 - Sep 2, 2001
would have been 76 years old today
Mikhail Baryshnikov
Jan 27, 1948
64 years old today
Keith Olbermann
Jan 27, 1959
53 years old today

Today's Celebrity Deaths

Howard Zinn
Aug 24, 1922 - Jan 27, 2010
2 years ago today
History.

Jerome Salinger
Jan 1, 1919 - Jan 27, 2010
2 years ago today
Catcher in the Ground.

Zelda Rubinstein
May 28, 1933 - Jan 27, 2010
2 years ago today
Go into the light!

John Updike
Jan 27, 2009
3 years ago today
Rabbit make space.

Jan 27, 2008
4 years ago today
He knew first-hand what the rest of us learned from Johnny Cash — it's tough being a boy named Suharto.

Jan 27, 2007
5 years ago today
Now Captain of the Sod Squad.

Jan 27, 2004
8 years ago today
Insert golf joke here.

Jan 27, 1997
15 years ago today
Slattery will get you nowhere.

Jan 27, 1997
15 years ago today
He was decorated as a World War I flying ace, won an Academy Award for his screen adaptation of Pygmalion and also wrote 19 novels, but he'll be best remembered for the endearing relationship he shared with Beany.

 

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Bil Keane:
It's not that he was JUST the cartoonist who created Family Circus, we'll have you know he ALSO did Channel Chuckles and Silly Philly, to say nothing of the fact that he was PRESIDENT of the National Cartoonists Society for 3 years, AND was close friends with Jeff MacNelly, the creator of Shoe.

That's all we got.
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