Newest Stiffs:

  • Polly Bergen

    Polly Bergen · 84

    July 14th, 1930 — September 20th, 2014

    Polly wanna casket?

  • Frank Torre

    Frank Torre · 82

    December 30th, 1931 — September 13th, 2014

    He taught his brother Joe everything he knew about baseball. Big WHOOP.

  • Ian Paisley

    Ian Paisley · 88

    April 6th, 1926 — September 12th, 2014

    Man - this is a huge loss. It takes someone with real talent to entertain MILLIONS of people using your musical gifts. As if that weren't enough, he was a huge philanthropist and did benefit concerts almost every time he was asked. Married to Kimberly Williams (from Father of the Bride as well as other films and TV shows), she was as active as he was. The two of them together formed..

    What? IAN Paisley? We thought you said BRAD. Who the FUCK is Ian Paisley? What? Are you serious? How are we supposed to write about THAT? Fuck it. We'll do it later.

  • Richard Kiel

    Richard Kiel

    — September 10th, 2014

    You're gonna need a bigger casket.

  • Joan Rivers

    Joan Rivers · 81

    June 8th, 1933 — September 4th, 2014

    Embalming not required.

Today's Celebrity Birthdays:

  • Zach Galifianakis

    Zach Galifianakis · 45

    (b) October 1st, 1969


  • Prince Philippos

    Prince Philippos · 45

    (b) October 1st, 1969


  • Denny Welch

    Denny Welch

    would have been 54 today
    October 1st, 1960 — October 2nd, 1998

    Only in America. Under the name "Eartha Quake," this 800-pound former exotic dancer gained national fame when good samaritan Jerry Springer used his obesity as a cause celebre. They had to knock over a wall to get Eartha out of his house and into a hospital. What a touching story. Of course, this was all before he pled no contest to charges that he let three young boys watch porno movies at his place. We're not making this stuff up, folks.

  • Randy Quaid

    Randy Quaid · 64

    (b) October 1st, 1950


  • Richard Harris

    Richard Harris

    would have been 84 today
    October 1st, 1930 — October 25th, 2002

    A man called toast.

  • Tom Bosley

    Tom Bosley

    would have been 87 today
    October 1st, 1927 — October 19th, 2010

    Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.
    Tuesday - not so much.

  • Jimmy Carter

    Jimmy Carter · 90

    (b) October 1st, 1924


  • William Rehnquist

    William Rehnquist

    would have been 90 today
    October 1st, 1924 — September 3rd, 2005

    There goes the neighborhood ....

  • Roger Williams

    Roger Williams

    would have been 90 today
    October 1st, 1924 — October 8th, 2011

    He played piano for 9 Presidents. He's playing for 8 of them right now.

  • James Whitmore

    James Whitmore

    would have been 93 today
    October 1st, 1921 — February 6th, 2009

    Brooks was here.

  • Walter Matthau

    Walter Matthau

    would have been 94 today
    October 1st, 1920 — July 1st, 2000

    You know that wherever he's going, George Burns'll be there waiting for him, and when Matthau knocks, Burns will point his finger in the air and say, "Enter!"

Today's Celebrity Deaths:

  • Tom Clancy

    Tom Clancy · 66

    died 1 year ago today
    April 12th, 1947 — October 1st, 2013

    Clear and Presently Dead

  • Richard Avedon

    Richard Avedon · 81

    died 10 years ago today
    May 15th, 1923 — October 1st, 2004

    He singlehandedly revolutionized fashion photography, then elevated portrait shooting to a fine art, and may very well have boned Jack and Jackie Kennedy.

  • Walter Annenberg

    Walter Annenberg · 94

    died 12 years ago today
    March 13th, 1908 — October 1st, 2002

    His final donation to the public good.

  • Reggie Kray

    died 14 years ago today
    — October 1st, 2000

    Historians and journalists alike are baffled by the notorious British gangster's final word. Just as he expired, he closed his eyes and quietly murmured, "Dinsdale."

  • Korla Pandit

    Korla Pandit · 77

    died 16 years ago today
    September 16th, 1921 — October 1st, 1998

    Actually, Zach met this guy once. He was like a Chihuahua in a turban.

  • Walter Alston

    died 30 years ago today
    — October 1st, 1984

    Skip him.

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