As he himself once sang, "Fliddy gloop gloopy, nibby nobby nooby, la la la lo lo. Shamma shimmy shaman, nooby abba dabban, lee lee lo lo. Dooby ooby wadda, nooby abba dabba, kicky-wicky bucket time."
William Oliver Swofford was never played in a game.
In 1938, he clinched the Grand Slam at Forest Hills, becoming the first ever to do it. Then last year, he crunched his Grand Am in a forest in the hills, and it became the last thing he would ever do. Advantage, tree.
(d) January 26th, 2000