Only in America. Under the name "Eartha Quake," this 800-pound former exotic dancer gained national fame when good samaritan Jerry Springer used his obesity as a cause celebre. They had to knock over a wall to get Eartha out of his house and into a hospital. What a touching story. Of course, this was all before he pled no contest to charges that he let three young boys watch porno movies at his place. We're not making this stuff up, folks.
Denny Welch was never played in a game.
There once was a fleet-footed Czech
whose name was Emil Zatopek.
Like a good little Pinky,
he won at Helsinki,
and then was too dumb to defect.
(d) November 21st, 2000