They called him "The Little Giant From Little Dixie." Have you any idea how close we came to having this midget as President?
Things he invented:
Chop-O-Matic (for chopping food, which was apparently WAY too hard)
Veg-O-Matic (same thing, but for slicing veggies)
Pocket Fisherman (so you can carry a fishing pole everywhere you go)
Mr. Microphone (apparently for assaulting hot women on the street)
Inside the shell egg scrambler (yes, seriously)
Showtime Rotisserie (like a regular rotisserie, but smaller)
GLH-9 - Hair in a Spray Can (Yes. Hair. In a can.)
Drain Buster (No idea.)
Smokeless Ashtray (Ashtray with a fan. Where did the smoke go?)
Electric Food Dehydrator (For sucking both moisture and flavor out of foods)
Automatic Pasta Maker (NOT automatic, we promise)
Rhinestone Stud Setter (Bedazzling before the bedazzler)
The Cap Snaffler (a bottle opener)
This is where the definition of "celebrity" gets very hazy.
(d) July 18th, 2021