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This list was submitted by USER00312 on Monday, December 27th, 1999 at 12:53 PM PST for The 2000 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Bob HopeJuly 27th, 2003100
9Richard PryorDecember 10th, 200565
8Hume CronynJune 15th, 200391
7Annette FunicelloApril 8th, 201370
6Boris YeltsinApril 23rd, 200776
5Pope John Paul IIApril 2nd, 200584
4Art DonovanAugust 4th, 201388
3Tommy MorrisonSeptember 1st, 201344
2Alec Guinness August 5th, 200086
1Strom ThurmondJune 26th, 2003100
2 points 1 hit 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998