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This list was submitted by Timur on Thursday, December 31st, 2015 at 8:46 AM PST for The 2016 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

This list is in the Dinner 2016 Boneyard.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Clive JamesNovember 24th, 201980
9Billy GrahamFebruary 21st, 201899
8Robert Mugabe September 5th, 201995
7Lou HensonJuly 25th, 202088
6Roberta McCainOctober 12th, 2020108
5Jimmy CarterAlive99
4Beverly ClearyMarch 25th, 2021104
3Mary Tyler MooreJanuary 25th, 201780
2Superstar Billy GrahamMay 17th, 202379
1Harper Lee February 19th, 201689
1 point 1 hit 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998