For the 19th year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed. If they were on any lists, or if they mattered at all in our world, you'll find them here.
If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.
|Stiffs for 2013|
|58.||Nelson Mandela, 95
July 18, 1918 - December 5th, 2013
He was in prison for 27 years, and then got married three times. Must have really missed it.
|57.||Paul Walker, 40
September 12, 1973 - November 30th, 2013
Yep. He was indeed fast.
|56.||Doris Lessing, 94
October 22, 1919 - November 17th, 2013
Boy - she can really hear the grass singing now.
|55.||Lou Reed, 71
March 2, 1942 - October 27th, 2013
Less Velvet. More Underground.
|54.||Marcia Wallace, 70
November 1, 1942 - October 25th, 2013
She starred in both The Angry Beavers as well as That's My Bush!. Seems like she was trying to tell us something.
|53.||Bum Phillips, 90
September 29, 1923 - October 18th, 2013
Looks like he's back with the Saints now.
|52.||Scott Carpenter, 88
May 1, 1925 - October 10th, 2013
He spent a total of 4 hours and 56 minutes in space. When you think about it, that's only 4 hours and 56 minutes more than YOU spent in space. Big WHOOP.
|51.||Vo Giap, 102
August 25, 1911 - October 4th, 2013
No mo Vo.
|50.||Tom Clancy, 66
April 12, 1947 - October 1st, 2013
Clear and Presently Dead
|49.||Ray Dolby, 80
January 18, 1933 - September 12th, 2013
Sounds good to us.
|48.||Cal Worthington, 92
November 27, 1920 - September 8th, 2013
If you wanna "Go see Cal" now, you'd better bring a shovel.
|47.||Frederik Pohl, 93
November 26, 1919 - September 2nd, 2013
|46.||Tommy Morrison, 44
January 2, 1969 - September 1st, 2013
|45.||David Frost, 74
April 7, 1939 - August 31st, 2013
|44.||Julie Harris, 87
December 2, 1925 - August 24th, 2013
She won five Tony Awards, three Emmy Awards and a Grammy Award, and was nominated for an Academy Award. And yet - and we're not kidding here - we don't recognize a SINGLE thing she was in.
|43.||Bert Lance, 82
June 3, 1931 - August 15th, 2013
Oh, it's broke alright. And there's no fixing it.
|42.||Jack Germond, 85
January 30, 1928 - August 14th, 2013
|41.||Eydie Gorme, 84
August 16, 1928 - August 10th, 2013
Blame it on the Bossa Nova if you like. She's still dead.
|40.||Karen Black, 74
July 1, 1939 - August 8th, 2013
|39.||Art Donovan, 88
June 5, 1925 - August 4th, 2013
Tough enough to be a football player, and smart enough to be REALLY funny. Talk about your rare combo.
|38.||Harry F. Byrd, Jr., 98
December 20, 1914 - July 30th, 2013
Oh, hooray. Another politician without a "Scandals" section. Anyone looking to buy a deadpool website?
|37.||William Scranton, 96
July 19, 1917 - July 28th, 2013
He was a fantastically wealthy scandal-less politician from New England. They can't all be Weiners.
|36.||Eileen Brennan, 80
September 3, 1932 - July 28th, 2013
She won a Golden Globe for her portrayal of Doreen Lewis in the TV adaptation of Private Benjamin. Yes. This is a CELEBRITY dead pool. We swear.
|35.||Lindy Boggs, 97
March 13, 1916 - July 27th, 2013
|34.||Helen Thomas, 92
August 4, 1920 - July 20th, 2013
That should put an end to all those annoying questions.
|33.||James Gandolfini, 51
September 18, 1961 - June 19th, 2013
Probably more like a baritone now.
|32.||Slim Whitman, 89
January 20, 1924 - June 19th, 2013
Now yodelling in that Great Infomercial In The Sky.
|31.||Richard Ramirez, 53
February 28, 1960 - June 7th, 2013
The Night Struck Back
|30.||Esther Williams, 91
August 8, 1921 - June 6th, 2013
Sleeping with the fishes.
|29.||Jean Stapleton, 90
January 19, 1923 - May 31st, 2013
|28.||Ray Manzarek, 74
February 12, 1939 - May 20th, 2013
Broke on through to the other side.
|27.||Dick Trickle, 71
October 27, 1941 - May 16th, 2013
Race car driver? Really? How was he not a porn star?
|26.||Billy Sol Estes, 88
January 10, 1925 - May 14th, 2013
You know when you sometimes refer to someone as a "dirty, lowlife, thieving, scumbag, huckster asshole"? This was the guy that coined that phrase.
|25.||Dr. Joyce Brothers, 85
October 20, 1927 - May 13th, 2013
Over the years she changed the name of her show from The Dr. Joyce Brothers Show to Consult Dr. Brothers to Tell Me, Dr. Brothers to Ask Dr. Brothers to Living Easy with Dr. Joyce Brothers, and now, finally to Lying Perfectly Still with Dr. Joyce Brothers
|24.||Ray Harryhausen, 92
June 29, 1920 - May 7th, 2013
|23.||Deanna Durbin, 91
December 4, 1921 - April 28th, 2013
Let's call it "Every Sunday but ONE"
|22.||George Jones, 81
September 12, 1931 - April 26th, 2013
He definitely stopped loving her today.
|21.||George Beverly Shea, 104
February 1, 1909 - April 16th, 2013
He sang to over 220 million people over his lifetime, worked with Billy Graham for over 50 years, and recorded over 500 vocal solos on more than 70 albums. And yet - we had no idea who the fuck he was until we looked him up. Go figure.
|20.||Pat Summerall, 82
May 10, 1930 - April 16th, 2013
|19.||Jonathan Winters, 87
November 11, 1925 - April 11th, 2013
In the dead of Winters.
|18.||Annette Funicello, 70
October 22, 1942 - April 8th, 2013
M-I-C - see you in the afterlife! K-E-Y - Why? Because you had MS!
|17.||Margaret Thatcher, 87
October 13, 1925 - April 8th, 2013
Being nicknamed "The Iron Lady" by the Brits is like being named "World's toughest" by the Boy Scouts. We're not impressed.
|16.||Roger Ebert, 70
June 18, 1942 - April 4th, 2013
He died with a smile on his face.
|15.||Rise Stevens, 99
June 11, 1913 - March 20th, 2013
Did you see her portrayal of Marfa in Moussorgsky's Khovanshchina? She kicked ass in that.
|14.||Harry Reems, 65
August 27, 1947 - March 20th, 2013
Rest in penis.
|13.||Hugo Chavez, 58
July 28, 1954 - March 5th, 2013
|12.||Bonnie Franklin, 69
January 6, 1944 - March 1st, 2013
That was it.
|11.||Van Cliburn, 78
July 12, 1934 - February 27th, 2013
He won the first quadrennial International Tchaikovsky Piano Competition in Moscow at age 23, which means there is absolutely no chance he ever got laid. Have a little respect.
|10.||C. Everett Koop, 96
October 14, 1916 - February 25th, 2013
|9.||Jerry Buss, 79
January 27, 1934 - February 18th, 2013
|8.||Mindy McCready, 37
November 30, 1975 - February 17th, 2013
Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
|7.||Ed Koch, 88
December 12, 1924 - January 31st, 2013
When asked about his sex life by the press in his early 70's, his response was "Fuck Off". We like this guy.
|6.||Patty Andrews, 94
February 16, 1918 - January 30th, 2013
She was a famous singer chick from Minnesota way
Both her sisters thought that she might be gay
She was plenty old at 94
But then her number came up and now she's here no more
She's in the ground now, placed there carefully
She the crusty, dusty singing chick in the cemetery
|5.||Stan Musial, 92
November 21, 1920 - January 19th, 2013
Yes - he was a 24 time all-star selection, compiled 3630 hits, and is widely considered the best left fielder of all time, and is in the Hall of Fame. But for OUR money, the fact that he played the harmonica on Hee Haw in 1994 AND made an album of harmonica songs? THAT is what makes someone famous.
|4.||Earl Weaver, 82
August 14, 1930 - January 19th, 2013
|3.||Dear Abby, 94
July 4, 1918 - January 16th, 2013
I think my husband is cheating on me. I keep finding little clues around the house - hotel keys, receipts for restaurants we've never been to, that sort of thing. I feel guilty even thinking it, but I have to know. Should I approach him and just ask? Or should I spy on him to find out? -- BETRAYED IN BALTIMORE
Dear Betrayed -
|2.||Conrad Bain, 89
February 4, 1923 - January 14th, 2013
Todd Bridges is the one from Diff'rent Strokes who lived the longest? Crazy.
|1.||Patti Page, 85
November 8, 1927 - January 1st, 2013
How much is that coffin in the window?