The Stiffs for 2016

For the 22nd year running, we present our fondest farewells to the recently departed.

If they were on any lists — or if they mattered at all in the world — you'll find them here.

If you're looking for everybody, then you need to head on over to the Directory.

Shimon Peres · 93

August 2nd, 1923 - September 27th, 2016

He won a Nobel Peace Prize, a Presidential Medal of Freedom, AND a Congressional Gold Medal - and still married a chick who was a truck driver. Talk about having NO GAME...

Arnold Palmer · 87

September 10th, 1929 - September 25th, 2016

62 wins and 7 major championships, and he'll still be remembered for a combination of lemonade and iced tea. Nice.

Phyllis Schlafly · 92

August 15th, 1924 - September 5th, 2016

A woman's place is in the cemetery.

Gene Wilder · 83

June 11th, 1933 - August 29th, 2016

Got his golden ticket punched.

Steven Hill · 94

February 24th, 1922 - August 23rd, 2016

Going down, Hill.

John McLaughlin · 89

March 29th, 1927 - August 16th, 2016

He made a living by yelling at people and being a know-it-all on TV for 34 years. An American hero, when you think about it.

Fyvush Finkel · 93

October 9th, 1922 - August 14th, 2016

His name in yiddish was "פֿײַוויש פֿינקעל", which loosely translated means "Rat Face".

Glenn Yarbrough · 86

January 12th, 1930 - August 11th, 2016

From limelighter to no-lighter.

Pete Fountain · 86

July 3rd, 1930 - August 6th, 2016

Fountain of Old.

David Huddleston · 85

September 17th, 1930 - August 2nd, 2016

He was in The Big Lebowski and Blazing Saddles - and an absolute SHIT TON of bad TV - and we still can't find any good quotes. Please submit your ideas to wedontreallycare@stiffs.com

Gloria DeHaven · 91

July 23rd, 1925 - July 30th, 2016

Made her first movie in 1936, and her last one in 1997. She was also married 4 times, had two kids, and lived in Vegas. No wonder she died.

Miss Cleo · 53

August 12th, 1962 - July 26th, 2016

Bet she didn't see that coming.

Garry Marshall · 81

November 13th, 1934 - July 19th, 2016

Sunday, Monday Happy Days! Tuesday - Oh. Shit.

Elie Wiesel · 87

September 30th, 1928 - July 2nd, 2016

Holocaust survivor, Nobel Peace Prize laureate, writer of 57 books. No scandals, affairs, controversies. We're going to pass on this one. You guys have fun with it.

Scotty Moore · 84

December 27th, 1931 - June 28th, 2016

He was Elvis Presley's guitarist. If right now you are thinking "Elvis had a guitarist?", then good. It's not just us.

Buddy Ryan · 85

February 17th, 1931 - June 28th, 2016

As a coach for the Houston Oilers, he punched another coach in the jaw after a fumbled snap. Not sure where the nickname "Buddy" comes from though.

Ralph Stanley · 89

February 25th, 1927 - June 23rd, 2016

The bluegrass legend is helping the green grass grow.

Gordie Howe · 88

March 31st, 1928 - June 10th, 2016

A stroke. That's howe.

Muhammad Ali · 74

January 17th, 1942 - June 3rd, 2016

Floats like a butterfly, and, well, that's about it.

Mell Lazarus · 89

May 3rd, 1927 - May 24th, 2016

He won the National Cartoonists Society Medal of Honor, which we assume means you got shot while drawing a cartoon or something. Too hungover to look it up. Lets go with that.

Alan Young · 96

November 19th, 1919 - May 19th, 2016

A corpse is a corpse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a corpse of course.

Morley Safer · 84

November 8th, 1931 - May 19th, 2016

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

William Schallert · 93

July 6th, 1922 - May 8th, 2016

IMDB has him at 374 acting credits up until 2014, then NOTHING. Slacker.

Prince · 57

June 7th, 1958 - April 21st, 2016

Life is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last.

Chyna · 45

December 27th, 1970 - April 20th, 2016

She wrestled chicks, filmed with dicks, and now she's on the river Styx.

Doris Roberts · 90

November 4th, 1925 - April 18th, 2016

Everybody mourns, Raymond.

David Gest · 62

May 11th, 1953 - April 11th, 2016

Gest wrong.

Merle Haggard · 79

April 6th, 1937 - April 6th, 2016

The Okie from Muskogee has gone Croakie.

Patty Duke · 69

December 14th, 1946 - March 29th, 2016

Her son was in Lord of the Rings, Goonies, and actually played the lead role in Rudy. Gotta be a bitch when your kid gets way better roles than you ever did.

Mother Angelica · 92

April 20th, 1923 - March 27th, 2016

She dedicated her life to serving the church, and in return had a stroke on Christmas Eve and died on Easter. Nice, God. Real nice.

Garry Shandling · 66

November 29th, 1949 - March 24th, 2016

We're not sure exactly what "shandling" is, but he's certainly not doing it any more.

Joe Garagiola · 90

February 12th, 1926 - March 23rd, 2016

If you want to know how good a baseball player he was, just understand that he played for nine seasons on FOUR different teams. So, yeah. Not that good.

Rob Ford · 46

May 28th, 1969 - March 22nd, 2016

Too bad. He seemed like a fun guy.

Gogi Grant · 91

September 20th, 1924 - March 10th, 2016

Wayward, and in the wind.

George Martin · 90

January 3rd, 1926 - March 8th, 2016

He was called "The Fifth Beatle" by a lot of people. Not by any of the actual Beatles, mind you. But who cares about that?

Nancy Reagan · 94

July 6th, 1921 - March 6th, 2016

Nighty night, mommy.

Bud Collins

March 4th, 2016

Aaaaaaand, that's match.

George Kennedy · 91

February 18th, 1925 - February 28th, 2016

Can't we go one year without a Kennedy dying?

Sonny James · 86

May 1st, 1929 - February 22nd, 2016

The gentleman has gone south.

Harper Lee · 89

April 28th, 1926 - February 19th, 2016

She released her first book in 1960, and her second and last book in 2015. Talk about your workaholics.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali · 93

November 14th, 1922 - February 16th, 2016

Boutros Boutros-Ghali, gee!
Was the sixth U.N. Secretary!

Vanity · 57

January 4th, 1959 - February 15th, 2016

OK, so, six deadly sins.

Antonin Scalia · 79

March 11th, 1936 - February 13th, 2016

The court has ruled 8-1 in favor of the plaintiff in the matter of Grim Reaper v. Antonin Scalia.

Paul Kantner · 74

March 17th, 1941 - January 28th, 2016

Guy was in a rock band for five decades, advocated the use of LSD and marijuana, opposed the use of cocaine and alcohol, and had 3 kids. Someone please send us an obit for this weirdo, please?