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Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Bud,
Ninety-five and happy as a hog in the mud,
And then one day, he was chewin' on some food,
And in through the door come The Adios Dude.
Death, that is ...
Black Knight ...
Mr. D ....

Well, the first thing you know,
Bud's cryin' like a girl,
Death said, "You're the biggest pussy in the world."
Said, "Purgatory is the place you ought to be,"
So he pulled out his plug, and Buddy drew a Z.
Died, that is ...
Screwed the pooch ...
Bought the farm ....

Won't come back, now ... y'hea'

Buddy Ebsen, (d) July 6th, 2003