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This list was submitted by Lisa Marie on Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 11:16 AM PST for The Aleksander Petrovic Memorial Three-Bagger.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Kirk DouglasFebruary 5th, 2020103
9Martin SheenAlive?
8Jean StapletonMay 31st, 201390
7 Zsa Zsa GaborDecember 18th, 201699
6Liz TaylorMarch 23rd, 201179
5Liza MinnelliAlive78
4Charles MansonNovember 19th, 201783
3Cicely TysonJanuary 28th, 202196
2Charlie SheenAlive58
1Bob NewhartAlive94
0 points 0 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

The 58th richest American now takes his rightful place in history as a sticky blob on the underside of capitalism's theatre seat. Ever try to get those things off after a couple days? No, you probably never even thought about it. You're one of those people that just takes that gooey sucker right out of your mouth, whenever you get tired of it, and slaps it under the nearest available piece of furniture. Hey, it's dark, why not? Never mind that some poor slob who's worried about the price of a rebuilt alternator is gonna spend a half-hour trying to chisel that melanoma-like mouthful of chemicals off without damaging the fucking wood. Ever wonder why we have carjackings, you filthy, stupid, rich pig bastard?! What's that? Another one of you thoughtless bloodsuckers blew a gasket? Well, right on, baby! Right on!!

(d) March 8th, 1999