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This list was submitted by robbo on Friday, December 31st, 2004 at 12:06 PM PST for The 2005 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool.

Points Celebrity Date of Death Age 
10Mike ConnorsJanuary 26th, 201791
9Lew BurdetteFebruary 6th, 200780
8Eddie Albert May 26th, 200599
7Skitch Henderson November 1st, 200587
6Tony MartinJuly 30th, 201298
5Soupy SalesOctober 22nd, 200983
4Russell JohnsonJanuary 16th, 201489
3Luciano PavarottiSeptember 6th, 200771
2Cal WorthingtonSeptember 8th, 201392
1Red SchoendienstJune 6th, 201895
15 points 2 hits 
 

 

Guess the Stiff!

"Put a coupla pennies on Ol' Blue Eyes .... He's a goner."
No, that's no good. We gotta do better than that. How 'bout
"Start spreadin' the news -- he's dead."
No, that's lame. This death is big. This death is bigger than big. It's huge. We need something really fantastic, like
"The Chairman is as stiff as a board."
That sucks. Dammit, we've got to think harder!
"From Here To Eternity."
Awful.
"Shot down in May."
Pathetic. Wait a sec,
"He did it--"
No, no, that's worse than the Henny Youngman thing. Jesus, the pressure is killing us. Do you people have any idea what this is like? Seventy-five million of you bloodthirsty sons-of-bitches are gonna be checking into this site right here, just to see what we write about Frank, and you know what? Yeah, he was a big star and a boozer and a womanizer and a pig and everything, but we know you bastards, and you're vicious. You're gonna want us to go for the jugular on this one, and man, we just weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, we shoulda seen it coming, it's true, but, jeez, the guy's like a statue or something, you know? Somehow, we just couldn't imagine it really, actually happening. And now it's happened, and we're completely stuck. Shit. We're fucked. We've been waiting and waiting for them to plant this old fart and put us in the spotlight, and now that baby's trained right on us, and we don't know what the hell to do. Okay, hang on. We've just got to pull it together and give it our best shot. Okay. Let's take a deep breath. We can get through this. Alright. Here we go. Ready?
"He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet -- and now he's a corpse."
God, that's horrible. Sorry.

(d) May 14th, 1998